My wife asked me how much I have in my savings account?

Money talk can be one of the trickiest conversations in any relationship—especially when “ours” and “mine” don’t overlap. The OP and his wife have honored separate financial boundaries for six years, each managing personal accounts and budgets. Except tonight: while they prep dinner together, she casually asks, “How much do you have in savings?”

His immediate reaction—firm refusal—felt both protective of his financial discipline and dismissive of marital transparency. Behind the simple question lies a web of trust, shared goals, and comfort with vulnerability. When one partner treats savings like top‑secret intel, tensions are bound to simmer.

‘My wife asked me how much I have in my savings account?’

So my wife (36 f) today asks me how much I have in my savings account. We have been together for 6 years and married for one of those years in May. We don't share bank accounts, her money is hers, and mine is mine. We are sitting cooking dinner in the air fryer when she just out of the blue asks, how much do you have in savings?

For me, it's not any of her business and I told her that. She is upset that she wanted me to take out money to go to the casino and I said no because I budget and don't touch savings.. Am I wrong for not telling her how much I have in savings?

Marriage often feels like a dance, but when it comes to money, some couples trip over each other’s toes. This Redditor’s standoff over his savings account highlights a classic marital tension: how much financial privacy is too much? While separate accounts work for some, his refusal to share even a ballpark figure with his wife raises eyebrows. Her push for casino funds, though, suggests a disconnect in their money values—his fortress of savings versus her zest for shared fun.

Financial secrecy in marriage can erode trust, especially when one partner feels shut out. Recent studies show that many couples with separate accounts still discuss major financial decisions openly. The Redditor’s stance, while legally valid, risks alienating his wife, whose curiosity may stem from a desire for partnership rather than control.

Dr. John Gottman, a renowned relationship expert, notes, “Financial disagreements are less about money and more about meaning—trust, respect, and shared goals.” Here, the husband’s secrecy signals a lack of trust, while her casino push might reflect a craving for shared experiences. Both perspectives are valid, but their communication needs a tune-up.

Advice: The couple should set ground rules for financial transparency, like sharing savings goals without merging accounts. Budgeting together for casino trips could bridge their divide.

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

Reddit’s armchair therapists didn’t hold back, serving up a mix of wit and wisdom. From gasps at the couple’s financial fortress to chuckles over their casino dreams, the community’s hot takes are as spicy as the air fryer’s output. Here’s what they had to say:

peakpenguins − Honestly, it would be super strange to me to be married to someone who isn't even comfortable telling me how much they have in their savings account.. You're definitely *not* wrong for not wanting to take out money to go to the casino though.

Itstheswanno − Jesus, that’s a strange marriage with a whole lack of trust.

jenesaisquoi − The way you framed this question is so bizarre. The title could be

It is her business. Your assets and debts are her assets and debts under the law (unless you live somewhere where that's not true, I guess) My spouse and I have separate savings accounts but we still talk about them. There should not be financial secrets in a healthy relationship.

dausy − Me and my husband got married when we were pushing 30 so we both already had careers going and our own bank accounts. We may still have our seperate accounts but we still have joint funds and we know about each other's finances. How do you plan for the future if you dont talk about savings and spending? What happens when yall decide to make a big purchase like a car or house or appliance?

kittycat_taco − You aren’t wrong for having you’re own bank account, but not being able to tell your wife what’s in there would be a big red flag to me.

fyrelyte11 − And here I thought

[Reddit User] − Sounds like a doomed marriage…

xCaZx2203 − “None of her business” is a WILD take, this is your wife, the person who is supposed to be your partner through life. I wouldn’t be with someone if I didn’t feel like I could trust them enough to at least share/discuss OUR finances.. That said, you are not wrong for refusing to spend savings on the casino.

lh123456789 − It is fine if you don't mix your finances, but you are wrong to refuse to be open with her about them, given that your savings also affect her.

seidinove − You are not wrong for not wanting to take out money for gambling, but it is very weird not to have financial transparency with your life partner.

These Reddit gems spark a question: do they nail the couple’s dynamic, or are they just shouting into the void? One thing’s clear—the internet loves a good marital money spat.

This kitchen clash over savings accounts reveals a universal truth: money talks, but marriage requires listening. Whether you’re Team Privacy or Team Transparency, the Redditor’s tale reminds us that trust is the real currency in love. As the couple navigates their separate-but-together life, their story invites us to reflect on our own financial dance with partners. What would you do if your spouse asked about your savings? Share your thoughts—let’s keep this conversation sizzling!

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