Am I wrong for telling my coworker we’re not a couple?

Picture a bustling restaurant kitchen, knives flashing and orders flying, where an 18-year-old woman navigates the heat of both the stove and an unexpected flirtation. She’s got a good vibe with a 24-year-old coworker, trading texts after shifts, until his messages veer into s**ual territory, leaving her squirming. When she fires back with a blunt, “We’re not a couple,” his passive-aggressive huff casts a shadow over their next shift, leaving her jittery about the fallout.

This Reddit tale sizzles with the tension of workplace chemistry gone awry, where a young woman’s boundary-setting sparks a chilly response. Readers might feel her nerves, caught between keeping the peace and standing her ground in a male-dominated space. It’s a sharp story of asserting control in a tricky dynamic, posing the question: how do you handle a coworker who crosses the line?

‘Am I wrong for telling my coworker we’re not a couple?’

So basically me and this coworker (ME F18) and him (M24) have a good connection I would say, chemistry. Anyway so after we worked together we would text and he just randomly started making the conversation s**ual and I was just not really responding because I felt awkward talking about that to him. Anyway I fell asleep during that conversation and the next morning he asked me if I had slept well and then he said:

“I just remembered, I did not even wish you ‘sleep well’’ and I said to him: ‘we’re not a couple’. Then he responded very passive agressive like :’oh. You have to be a couple to say that? Nevermind then.’ And never texted me again. I have to work with him today and I am just nervous because I feel like he is angry but like should I have not said that???

This kitchen clash is a textbook case of boundary-testing, with a young woman deftly dodging a coworker’s inappropriate advance. His shift from friendly texts to s**ual comments pushed her into an awkward corner, and her blunt rebuff was a power move to reclaim control. Dr. Amy Blackstone, a workplace harassment expert, notes, “Clear boundaries are crucial in professional settings to prevent discomfort and escalation” (source).

Workplace flirtations aren’t rare—20% of employees report experiencing unwanted advances (source). His passive-aggressive response suggests bruised ego, not genuine remorse, and her choice to keep things professional at work was spot-on. The male-dominated kitchen adds pressure, but her experience shutting down crude comments shows resilience.

Blackstone advises documenting such interactions, as she did by keeping texts. She could reinforce boundaries by limiting non-work contact and reporting any retaliation. Readers, how do you handle flirty coworkers?

Moving forward, she might request a manager’s guidance if tensions persist, ensuring a safe workspace. Her instinct to avoid personal texting is wise—keeping it strictly business protects her peace.

See what others had to share with OP:

Reddit’s crew dove into this workplace saga like it’s a post-shift debrief, dishing out a mix of cheers and sly jabs. Imagine a break room buzz where everyone’s unpacking the coworker’s overreach, from praising her sass to warning about his motives. Here’s the raw scoop, crackling with wit and support

xOneLeafyBoi − Keep it professional and work related. Sounds like a classic guy in his mid 20s trying to f**k the 18 year old kid in the workplace Lol

moon_duck171 − Keep it civil, professional, and need to know (work) basis. If you -have- to talk to him (work related), keep it short, sweet (figuratively), and to the point. You’re not in the wrong.. Edit: she’s not in the wrong.

Peskypoints − Don’t delete those msgs. If he behaves badly at work, you’ll want to be able to show your boss why there’s a problem and to put his behavior in context

CZ1988_ − he just randomly started making the conversation s**ual. You are not wrong - he is very inappropriate.

FatLeeAdama2 − I don’t think you’re wrong. Some people aren’t the best socially and he just got his signals crossed.. Hopefully you guys can smooth this out and still have a good work relationship.

JurassicPark-fan-190 − The only guy who texts you at night to sleep well is either a parent or a guy who wants to f**k you.

TheEyebal − Next time this happens, just say. **Good morning, thank you for checking up on me but lets keep things professional from here on out. Also please message me through email instead of text and i'll respond as soon as I can. Thank You**

SocraticLife13 − You were not wrong at all. He was definitely testing and pushing boundaries. It sounds like the hardest part for you is how this manifests itself at the workplace. Since he got corrected, it's natural for his ego to be a little bruised. It's pretty clear he was hoping for something more.

What you're going to learn over the next few times you're together is the kind of person he REALLY is. Since the carrot has been removed (the possibility of something more), how will he behave. If he's a good guy, he may be a little distant. That's normal because he's disappointed. But beyond that, he needs to accept it and, hopefully, be the work friend you'd hope he'd be.. As stated by others, OP, keep the receipts just in case. Good luck.

FullFrontal687 − Not wrong. OP - this guy has been pushing your boundaries and being inappropriate for a coworker. His move has been to push your boundaries farther and farther until you are basically

I don't text coworkers, almost ever, except for work-related stuff. I have my own home and personal life. Also, my rule of thumb is never to exchange messages with a coworker that I wouldn't want my own partner, or theirs, to see.

SunsCosmos − Honey, I’m 25 and work with 18 year olds and I could NEVER imagine dating them. When you get older the age difference is so stark. N**ty stuff. You are definitely not wrong for not engaging with his BS, or for setting proper boundaries.

These Redditors are all in, hailing her boundary-setting or eyeing the coworker’s intentions warily. But do their spicy takes fully capture the nuances of workplace dynamics, or are they just loving the clapback? One thing’s clear—this tale of standing firm has the crowd buzzing.

This steamy kitchen drama leaves us chewing on a big question: how do you keep things professional when a coworker gets too cozy? Her sharp shutdown of flirty texts was a bold stand, but the awkward aftermath shows boundaries come with a cost. Ever had to fend off a coworker’s advances or navigate a tense work vibe? Spill your stories below—let’s chop through this workplace mess and figure out how to keep the heat in the kitchen, not the drama!

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