AITAH For Refusing To Work Thanksgiving So My Co-Worker Can Celebrate With Her Kids?

Thanksgiving is more than just a day off—it’s the rare moment when loved ones gather around a table to share gratitude, laughter, and a turkey (or two). After two years of working every holiday, our OP finally secured Thanksgiving with her fiancé’s family and her own. It feels like a milestone: her first “real” holiday to savor.

That bliss evaporated when June, a fellow new hire and mother of two, quietly asked to swap shifts. Suddenly the unspoken office rule—that childless employees cover every holiday so parents can be home—hit our OP full force. Now she’s left wondering whether preserving her hard‑earned plans makes her the villain of this workplace drama.

‘AITAH For Refusing To Work Thanksgiving So My Co-Worker Can Celebrate With Her Kids?’

Setting personal boundaries at work—especially around holidays—is an act of self‑respect. As Dr. Brené Brown reminds us, “Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves, even when we risk disappointing others.” By declining June’s request, our OP honored her own family commitments rather than internalize an unfair expectation.

When scheduling norms systematically burden childless employees, resentment can flourish. Organizational psychologist Dr. Adam Grant notes, “When employees perceive scheduling as fair, team morale and performance improve dramatically.” Penalizing certain groups for others’ life choices undermines trust and can erode long‑term engagement.

Inclusive workplace cultures recognize that personal responsibilities vary widely—some employees care for elderly relatives, some pursue higher education, and others, like our OP, pursue relationship milestones. Research shows that transparent scheduling policies reduce turnover and foster a sense of equity among team members.

Moving forward, experts suggest advocating for a clear holiday‑shift rotation that balances everyone’s needs. By speaking with HR or leadership to establish written guidelines—rather than relying on unspoken customs—teams can transform holiday coverage from a source of conflict into an opportunity for collaboration.

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

Redditors rallied behind the OP’s right to protect her hard‑won holiday plans. Many argued that once a schedule is set, everyone deserves to honor their commitments—regardless of parental status. A few suggested she simply state, “I have family plans I can’t move,” and leave it at that.

Others sympathized with both perspectives but agreed that informal “parents‑first” rules often mask deeper issues of workplace fairness.

Holiday scheduling can feel like a tug‑of‑war between personal celebrations and collective needs. Have you ever faced an unwritten workplace rule that left you torn between your own life and a colleague’s request? How did you strike the balance? Share your stories and solutions below to help others navigate these seasonal stand‑offs.