AITA for refusing to pay “my fair share” of drinks when I don’t drink?

At a recent bachelorette party in Las Vegas, a 32-year-old non-drinker found himself embroiled in an unexpected financial dispute that left him questioning the fairness of splitting bills. Known among his friends for having abstained from alcohol since his college days, he was perfectly comfortable with enjoying a custom mocktail and a sparkling water during their night out.

However, what began as a casual agreement to share expenses turned into an ordeal when he received a Venmo request for a staggering $470. This incident not only challenged his expectations of a fair split but also highlighted the challenges of navigating group expenses when not everyone partakes equally.

‘AITA for refusing to pay “my fair share” of drinks when I don’t drink?’

Dr. Martin Keller, a psychologist specializing in group dynamics and interpersonal communication, explains, “When group expenses are shared, clarity at the outset is critical. In cases where not everyone participates equally—such as with alcohol consumption—it’s perfectly reasonable for individuals to only pay for what they have actually consumed.”

Dr. Keller emphasizes that agreements to split bills should be as detailed as possible, particularly when the expense categories differ. “If a non-drinker agrees to share a bill, they should be clear that their share only includes food or non-alcoholic beverages,” he continues. “Failing to establish these boundaries upfront can lead to feelings of financial exploitation and resentment.”

Furthermore, financial fairness in group settings is not just a matter of numbers—it also touches on respect and understanding among friends. According to financial counselor Lisa Rodriguez, “It’s important that friends recognize and respect each other’s choices.

Expecting someone to subsidize an expense they have consciously opted out of, such as alcohol consumption, is not equitable.” Rodriguez suggests that in social outings where alcohol is involved, having separate tabs or discussing the division of costs beforehand can prevent disputes later on. In this scenario, the non-drinker’s refusal to cover the entire alcohol bill aligns with these principles of fairness and mutual respect.

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

The Reddit community overwhelmingly supported the non-drinker’s stance. Many users commented that it was unreasonable for him to pay for the alcohol when he did not drink, asserting that bar tabs should be kept separate from food costs. One comment noted, “If people want to get their drink on, that’s fine, but it’s unreasonable to expect non-drinkers to foot the bill.”

Others added that, had the group agreed beforehand to split everything evenly, the situation would have been different. However, since his understanding was that only the shared food should be split, the consensus was that his reaction was justified. A few dissenting voices mentioned that since it was a bachelorette party in Vegas, higher expenses might be expected, yet they still agreed that non-drinkers should only pay for their actual consumption.

In the end, the incident highlights a common pitfall in group outings—misunderstandings about what constitutes a “fair share.” For our non-drinker, being forced to shoulder the entire alcohol bill felt like financial abuse under the guise of a friendly arrangement.

His experience serves as a cautionary tale: always clarify in advance what expenses will be shared and which will not. How do you handle splitting bills in group outings, especially when not everyone consumes equally? Share your thoughts and experiences in the discussion below!