AITA for wishing my dad good luck when all he has left is his affair partner because he won’t see my brother in the hospital when she’s not welcome?

The ache of betrayal isn’t just emotional—it can echo through every hospital corridor and courtroom. When a parent’s misplaced loyalty to a romantic partner sidelines a child’s basic need for support, resentment can harden into defiance. In this story, two teenage siblings find themselves trapped in a custody arrangement they never chose, forced to share equal time with a father who abandoned their mother for the woman next door.

As one brother battles severe asthma in the hospital, he makes a simple request: don’t let her visit. Yet his plea is ignored, and their father quietly chooses his new wife over his own son’s recovery. What happens when love turns into a bargaining chip, and a child’s pain becomes collateral damage?

‘AITA for wishing my dad good luck when all he has left is his affair partner because he won’t see my brother in the hospital when she’s not welcome?’

My dad cheated on my mom with

But my brother still mostly keeps dad at arms length because dad comes with Fiona. To give some more info on other things. I spoke in court about not wanting to go to my dad's house and the judge didn't listen. In my state they never have to listen to

A judge could choose to but it's rare that they will when no physical abuse is involved. My brother wanted to spend less time at dad's house and that was another thing our voice doesn't matter in. Not even mine at 16. So we're 50-50 with our parents. The other thing is Fiona has tried to get close to us.

She has acted all sweet and caring and like she wants us to be family and she has cried when we rejected her. I'm ruthless about it too and told her I will never be her friend and never be her willing family and to accept it. I told her she is nothing in my eyes and is just as disgusting as dad.

Fiona was our neighbor for a while and knew about mom and us so while dad is primarily the bad guy she's not innocent. Dad and I fight on the regular about it. So my brother has pretty severe asthma and he was hospitalized almost three weeks ago. My brother made it clear to the hospital staff that he didn't want Fiona to visit him so she's not allowed in.

Because of that dad refused to visit even when my brother asked to see him. My brother stopped calling him after that and he ignores any calls dad makes. My dad had some friends over and he complained to them about the whole thing.

When they left I told him that I hoped he was prepared to never see me or my brother again and good luck when all he has left is his affair partner. He told me not to speak about Fiona like that and to stop speaking to him like that. I told him that's what Fiona will be until the day she dies.

Just like he will be a cheater until the day he dies. He told me stopping all contact with a parent for loving their partner is wrong. I rolled my eyes and he's still bitching about what I said. He told mom I had no right to speak to him that way.. AITA?

Letting a parent’s romantic relationship eclipse their responsibilities can create lasting emotional wounds. In situations like this, adolescents often feel forced to “choose sides,” which can deepen feelings of abandonment and anger. As in this case, the father’s decision to stand by his affair partner rather than comfort his sick son has escalated normal teenage frustration into a full-blown estrangement.

This scenario also highlights a broader trend: family estrangement is on the rise. A 2016 BBC report found that about 15% of adult children in Western countries report being estranged from a parent due to perceived neglect or boundary violations (source: BBC) — a figure that’s only grown as divorce and blended families become more common. Such statistics illustrate how vital consistent parental support is to children’s emotional and physical well-being.

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby, a licensed marriage and family therapist, asserts: “When a parent prioritizes a romantic partner over their child’s expressed needs, the breach of trust can become irreparable.”¹ In this family’s case, the siblings’ refusal to accept the stepmother isn’t mere stubbornness—it’s a defensive response to years of broken promises and divided loyalties.

Moving forward, open communication and professional mediation could help mend these fractured bonds. Parents should validate their children’s feelings, perhaps beginning with family therapy sessions or supervised visits that respect hospital rules. Experts recommend setting clear boundaries—for example, allowing hospital staff to enforce visitor restrictions—so that emotional support isn’t held hostage by relationship conflicts.

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

Across the board, readers sided firmly with the teens. Most felt the father’s refusal to visit his hospitalized son without his affair partner was inexcusable, viewing it as a blatant betrayal of parental duty. Many applauded the siblings for standing their ground and even suggested pursuing a custody modification so they could live full‑time with their mother.

While a handful cautioned against severing ties completely, the prevailing sentiment was clear: actions have consequences, and choosing a romantic partner over a child in need crosses an unforgivable line. Ultimately, the community encouraged the teens to maintain their boundary until genuine accountability emerges.

shammy_dammy − Best 18th bday present for you is the ability to go nc with them.

Sandpiper1701 − I have no sympathy for a man who refuses to visit his SON in the HOSPITAL unless his affair partner wife can come too. Dad stepped over a line he can't come back from. His son ASKED him to come and dad refused unless he got his way. Then he has the audacity to demand an apology? Oh, hell no!

SuccessfulAd4606 − Tough break, you and your brother have every right to be angry, your dad's an a**hole. You and bro should look into petitioning the courts to live with your mother, especially in light of him not even visiting your brother in the hospital.

Ok_Original_9063 − kids are not dumb. they know what is going on. And deeply resent a cheater and affair partner. Why would a judge insist of a child to be with a parent when is of a age to decide.. update me

nuclear_herring −

EmploymentLanky9544 − My brother made it clear to the hospital staff that he didn't want Fiona to visit him so she's not allowed in. Because of that dad refused to visit even when my brother asked to see him.

He chose his affair, over his own son who was in the hospital. He deserves an A**hole Dad of The Year award.. He told me stopping all contact with a parent for loving their partner is wrong

That's entirely your right. You dad split up your family by cheating on your poor mother with the next door neighbor. God only knows how long that was actually going on.. And now he's actively choosing Fiona over his own children.

For what it's worth, I've been in a similar situation and went no contact with my parent once I moved out. I never looked back, with no regrets. Your dad deserves everything that will come his way.. NTA

Business_Guitar3929 − NTA. As a grown man dad should have learned long ago that actions have consequences.

Knickers1978 − Can’t wait for daddio to cheat on Fiona. It’ll happen. Once a cheater, always a cheater.. NTA

ProfessionalApathy42 − TBH I'd be playing mindgames at this point, as far as i'm concerned the judge ok'd it. Start small, oops i broke this sentimental thing. Reorganising random s**t. Planting underwear. Screaming whenever she came near me. Addressing them both in various languages for 'AP'. But then again, maybe I have many issues that therapy has yet to fix 😁

bobp929 − NTA Your father is a cheating scumbag and doesn't deserve an ounce of respect. He didn't care about you, your brother, or mother while he was sleeping with the neighbor and what the consequences would be.

Do not let him manipulate you into

This family’s story raises tough questions about loyalty, boundaries, and the true meaning of parental love. If you were in the siblings’ shoes, how would you handle a parent who puts a romantic relationship above your health and well‑being? Share your thoughts, personal experiences, or advice below—let’s discuss!

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