AITA for telling my mother in law I don’t care if people don’t come to my wedding?

Shirley Stafford Hours
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Imagine stepping into a Southern-style venue, where sprawling lawns meet a serene lake view, instantly feeling like your wedding dreams have come to life. For one 25-year-old bride-to-be, this was the place—perfect in every way, from budget to vibe. But her mother-in-law (MIL) arrived, lost and fuming, ready to douse the joy with complaints about a 45-minute drive and hypothetical disasters. When the bride stood her ground, sparks flew, leaving family tensions simmering.

This Reddit AITA post dives into the whirlwind of wedding planning, where personal vision collides with unsolicited opinions. Readers might feel the bride’s frustration, caught between her dream day and an MIL who can’t let go. It’s a relatable tale of asserting control over one of life’s biggest moments, wrapped in the charm and chaos of family dynamics.

‘AITA for telling my mother in law I don’t care if people don’t come to my wedding?’

Hi friends — I’m 25F and marrying my fiancé (29M) this fall. Even though we started wedding planning a bit late, we haven’t had any issues finding vendors. Today, we toured five venues. The first four weren’t really my style, and honestly, I wasn’t even interested in seeing them.

The one I really wanted was last on the list. As soon as I saw it, I knew it was the one. It’s a beautiful Southern-style venue about 45 minutes outside the city. It took me 38 minutes to get there from the fourth venue, but my MIL got lost and took about 50 minutes.

As soon as she arrived, she hated it because it was “too far” and also because the property has a lake view. She immediately said, “What if the kids get out here and drown?”. First of all, that’s why I said no kids.. Second, other people’s children are not my responsibility.

I made it clear that this is the venue I want. It’s perfect, within budget, and exactly what I envisioned. But all she can do is complain — about how far it is, what people are going to say, and what they’re going to do. To that, I responded: If people don’t care enough about me to drive 45 minutes, then I don’t really care to have them celebrate with me anyway.

We ended up going our separate ways, but it’s super obvious she’s upset — and honestly, it’s really pissing me off. At the end of the day, this wedding matters most to me and my fiancé — not anyone else. I don’t want to look back and feel like I settled for a venue I didn’t love just to make other people comfortable.

Wedding planning often stirs family tensions, and this bride’s clash with her MIL is a classic case. The bride’s choice of a 45-minute-away venue reflects her vision, yet her MIL’s objections prioritize guest convenience over the couple’s desires. Dr. Terri Orbuch, a relationship expert, notes, “Family input can feel like interference when it overrides the couple’s priorities” (source). The MIL’s focus on distance and safety seems less about practicality and more about control.

The bride’s sharp retort—that uninterested guests can skip the event—underscores her commitment to her dream. Meanwhile, the MIL’s complaints hint at a need to assert influence, a common dynamic in 60% of wedding planning disputes (source). This reflects a broader issue: navigating family expectations while staying true to personal goals.

Dr. Orbuch advises, “Clear communication sets boundaries without escalating conflict.” The bride could calmly reiterate that the venue is non-negotiable, emphasizing it’s her and her fiancé’s day. Inviting the MIL to contribute in a smaller way, like helping with decor, might ease tensions while keeping control intact.

See what others had to share with OP:

Reddit’s crew rolled up to this wedding drama like guests to an open bar, serving a lively mix of cheers and sly jabs. Picture a bridal brunch where everyone’s dishing out opinions, from backing the bride’s bold stance to side-eyeing the MIL’s meltdown. Here’s the unfiltered scoop from the crowd, buzzing with support and a dash of snark.

Stranger0nReddit − NTA. This isn't your MIL's wedding. It's yours. If she doesn't like the venue, too bad for her. If people are unwilling to make the drive, that's on them. I'm curious though, is MIL paying for it or something?

EmceeSuzy − You are NTA. Is there any particular reason that you and your fiance brought his mother along on your venue search? What did he think of her remarks?. She should have been a supportive participant who deferred to the bride and groom on all matters.

StAlvis − INFO. So this is a southern style venue. *What kind* of

OldGeekWeirdo − NTA. But be forewarned, this is likely to be a pattern in your marriage.. Does your fiancé have your back?

Religion_Is_A_Cancer − NTA. It’s your guys day. But g**damn learn to use periods holy s**t.

ruyrybeyro − NTA. It’s *your* day, and if the venue’s perfect for you, that’s what matters. If people can’t be bothered to travel, that’s on them.. Don’t let your mother-in-law guilt you into settling for something you don’t want. You do you.

2dogslife − Unless your MIL is paying for the wedding, traditionally, they groom's parents have not a lot of sway or say in the wedding.. I cannot even imagine why she was invited to view the venue options, honestly.. NTA

Several-Pop-7480 − my boyfriend and i flew from texas to north carolina for one of his high school friends’ weddings. i think your statement is correct on if they care enough, they’ll drive 45 minutes. it’s YOUR wedding and YOUR budget, so f**k whatever your mil has to say. tell her she can pick the venue if she’s gonna finance the wedding 🤣

MaudeBaggins − 45 minutes is not that far. People will figure it out, they can car pool. If there is a big enough group they might decide to hire a bus to take them there together. Sounds like MIL is just being contrary.

mavenmim − You and your fiance get to make the choices, and to get married the way that feels right to you - especially if you are paying for it. If you love a place 45 minutes away that seems pretty reasonable - lots of people pick venues that are far more inconvenient than that, or even abroad, and their loved ones find a way to get there.

So whatever your m-i-l says, what you are doing is absolutely normal. It would not cause any surprise to anyone I know, and I bet all your guests are fine with it. I can't think of a single wedding that was within an hour from where we live. I got married 4 hours away from my parents,

and 3 hours away from my in-laws, because it was the place we met and made our home. My husband's best man and his wife got married in Scotland, 8 hours from us and any family, and it was the most glorious and memorable event. I drove 4 hours to the wedding of a childhood friend, and we flew to France for my brother's wedding.

And right now one of my colleagues is planning a wedding 3 hours from his family, because they wanted a perfect venue. I suspect that you could only expect things to happen on your doorstep if the wedding only involves people who live within a very tight-knit community and have never moved away from where they grew up.. NTA.

These Redditors are all in, applauding the bride’s focus on her dream or tossing shade at the MIL’s overreach. Some see the 45-minute drive as a non-issue; others question why the MIL was even invited along. Their takes are spicy, but do they capture the full vibe, or are they just fueling the family feud? One thing’s clear—this venue showdown has everyone talking.

This wedding tale leaves us wondering: how do you hold firm on your vision when family pushes back? The bride’s stand shows the power of prioritizing your own joy, even when it ruffles feathers. Have you ever had to defend a big life choice against family input? Share your thoughts below—let’s unpack this bridal battle!

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