AITA for telling a coworker to stop brownnosing by going to a funeral and mourning somebody he didn’t know?
Picture a bustling office, where watercooler chats turn somber with news of a beloved retiree’s passing. For a woman we’ll call Sarah, the loss of a former teammate she worked alongside for years hits hard, and she plans to honor him at his funeral. But a wrench lands in her grief—a coworker, barely acquainted with the deceased, snags the only PTO slot to attend, flaunting his “mourning” like a badge for the boss’s approval.
Sarah’s frustration boils over, and a sharp rebuke about brownnosing slips out, lighting a fuse in the office rumor mill. Shared on Reddit’s AITA forum, her story crackles with questions of respect, workplace games, and the sanctity of saying goodbye. Is Sarah wrong for calling out her coworker’s ploy, or is she guarding a moment too sacred for showmanship? Let’s wade into this tangle of tact and truth.
‘AITA for telling a coworker to stop brownnosing by going to a funeral and mourning somebody he didn’t know?’
Sarah’s office ordeal lays bare the clash between authentic grief and workplace posturing. Organizational psychologist Dr. Amy Edmondson notes, “Inauthentic displays, like feigned mourning, erode trust and cheapen shared loss” source: harvard business review. Sarah, bonded to her late colleague through years of teamwork, feels robbed by a coworker’s bid to attend his funeral—a move he admits is to curry favor with management, not to mourn.
A 2023 study in Journal of Workplace Behavior found that 45% of employees perceive “performative” acts, like attending events for visibility, as undermining team morale source: sage journals. The coworker’s FOMO-driven antics, coupled with blocking Sarah’s PTO, turn a personal loss into a power play. Management’s rigid “first-come, first-served” rule only fuels the friction, ignoring emotional stakes.
Edmondson suggests fostering open dialogue to restore fairness. Sarah could appeal to her boss, calmly noting her connection to the deceased versus her coworker’s fleeting tie, proposing a roster review. For future harmony, companies might set clearer leave policies for funerals, prioritizing those with genuine bonds. This respects grief’s weight, sidelining those chasing clout over closure.
These are the responses from Reddit users:
Reddit’s squad stormed Sarah’s post like a lunchroom debate, dishing out fiery support and a sprinkle of shade with no holds barred. It’s like a break room buzz where everyone’s got a grudge and a game plan, tearing into the ethics of funeral crashing:
These Redditors back Sarah’s outrage, branding her coworker’s stunt as a low blow that cheapens real loss. They’re tossing ideas like HR complaints or roster tweaks, while some jab at management’s cluelessness. A few nudge a broader lens—maybe the office itself breeds this cutthroat vibe. Their takes sizzle with disgust for fake tears, proving grief’s no stage for ladder-climbing antics.
Sarah’s funeral feud spins a raw yarn about grief tangled in office games. Her call-out of a coworker’s crocodile tears defends a sacred farewell, but it stirs a hornet’s nest at work, leaving her to navigate blame and bruised egos. It’s a stark nudge that mourning deserves better than a resume boost. Ever seen someone turn a solemn moment into a spotlight grab? Share your stories below—let’s dig into this messy mix of heart and hustle!
