AITAH for unhooking the heater because my GF keeps turning the thermostat to 85°F?

In the cozy confines of an RV rolling through life’s adventures, a thermostat has turned into a battleground for a couple. For three years, a man and his girlfriend have shared their mobile home, but her newfound habit of cranking the space heater to a sweltering 85°F—even as spring blooms—has him sweating bullets. Polite requests, firm talks, and thermostat lessons haven’t cooled her down, so he’s taken drastic measures: hiding the heater and disabling the furnace. Reddit’s fired up over this one.

With the RV still toasty at 75°F and a fight looming, the man’s at his wit’s end, caught between comfort and conflict. Is he justified in pulling the plug, or has he left their relationship out in the cold? Let’s crank up the details on this heated dispute and see where the temperature lands.

‘AITAH for unhooking the heater because my GF keeps turning the thermostat to 85°F?’

My GF and I have been living and traveling in an RV for about 3 years now, and we use a space heater and propane furnace. For whatever reason this past winter she's been cranking the space heater to 85°F and leaving it on, no matter what the temperature is inside or outside.

I was OK with it during the winter cold because it would be 30°F outside and the space heater could never get the RV up that high if it tried. But now it's spring and it does get that hot inside. I've asked her multiple times nicely to put it at 70°F, or even 75°F, but she keeps cranking it. I've also firmly told her to stop.

She refuses to wear hoodies and sweatxpants/PJs, and insists on only wearing underwear at home. I'm fairly certain she doesn't know how a thermostat works, and I tried explaining it to her. I'll get home and it's 80 something degrees, so I'll turn it off, and she'll just crank it back up when I'm not looking.

I'll turn it off at night, and she'll turn it back early AM when she notices. I'm over it. So, tonight, a few minutes ago, I took the heater and hid it in storage. I unhooked the propane to the furnace and removed the fuse to the furnace. It's 50°F outside, but still 75°F inside the RV. I know we're about to have a fight in two hours or so. AITAH? Idk what to do.

This thermostat tussle is a hot mess of communication breakdowns and clashing needs. The man’s frustration stems from his girlfriend’s refusal to compromise on an extreme temperature—85°F is sauna territory—while her insistence on minimal clothing and ignoring his pleas suggests deeper issues. His drastic act of unhooking the heater, while effective, risks escalating tension without resolving the root cause.

Dr. Harriet Lerner, a relationship expert, writes in The Dance of Connection, “When one partner stonewalls change, it’s often a sign of unaddressed needs or misunderstandings.” The girlfriend’s behavior—cranking the heat despite explanations—might hint at a sensory preference, health issue, or even a subtle power play. The man’s requests for 70-75°F align with standard comfort zones; a 2023 Energy Star report notes 68-72°F as ideal for most households to balance comfort and efficiency.

For a cooler outcome, Lerner suggests empathetic curiosity. The man could ask why she needs such heat, exploring medical or emotional factors, like anemia or anxiety, as some Redditors speculated. Smaller steps—like setting a thermostat lock at 75°F or agreeing on warmer clothing—could prevent waste without a showdown. Couples’ counseling might help them navigate shared space respectfully.

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

Reddit’s comment crew is turning up the heat with a mix of support, shade, and quirky fixes for this toasty turmoil. Here’s a sizzle of their fiery takes—brace yourself! These Reddit sparks fly high, but do they light the way to a cooler RV life? Let’s fan the flames!

IrishDaveInCanada − I found a solution to this problem a few years ago, I removed the dial knob an put it back on so it pointed to a higher temperature than it was actually set at.

SigSauerPower320 − NTA. The fact that she refuses to wear layers would really p**s me off.

Fizl99 − having converted to celcius 85f is hot even for me! I fully expect there to be a row about how you are doing it, but your partner needs to understand its easier to layer to get warm than it is to cool down when very hot. NTA

nijmeegse79 − NTA. 85F is close to 30°C. That is insane!. Even 75F/24°C is hot.. 70F/21°C seems way more normal. Exept wen sleeping, then it is stil hot.(For me at least). If she hates clothing that much, is there something else going on? Mentally(~tism) or fysically( with her skin?)

asiniloop − This is beyond just needing to feel warm. Feeling cold all the time could indicate a health issue, especially in women. She should get herself checked by a doctor.

whaile42 − is your gf perhaps some sort of tropical reptile?

FabledInkk − NTA. Bro, 85°F in an RV is wild. That’s not cozy, that’s *survival mode in the Sahara*. If she refuses to compromise and won’t even throw on a hoodie, I don’t blame you for taking matters into your own hands. Maybe she needs to experience a *reasonable* temperature to realize 85°F isn’t normal. Stay strong your electricity bill and sanity will thank you.

ikheetbas − NTA, these kind of temps are unreasonable… In The Netherlands the advice is to keep indoor temps to 66F.

SlappySlapsticker − Controversial view - NTA. Heating (to me, personal opinion, may be wrong) isn't an excuse to run around in our jocks during winter. Heating is to take the edge off so we're comfortable when pants and a jumper aren't doing the trick.. Also high horse greeny view - unnecessary heating when not rugging up first is wasting money and killing dolphins.

SituationSad4304 − NTA, I couldn’t be in a relationship with someone who wanted it to be 85°

This RV heater saga proves that even a small space can ignite big conflicts when comfort zones collide. The man’s heater heist aimed to reset the temperature, but without tackling why his girlfriend’s stuck on 85°F, the fight’s just warming up. Was he right to pull the plug, or should he have kept talking? How would you handle a partner who turns your home into a toaster? Drop your thoughts, stories, or advice in the comments—let’s cool down this domestic drama together!

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