AITA for not assisting a lady to retrieve her luggage from overhead compartment?

Picture a bustling airplane cabin, where the hum of boarding passengers fills the air, and a Thai-Aussie traveler settles into his aisle seat, earphones in, ready for a chill flight. But when a woman in her 50s-60s cuts the line and snaps her fingers in his face, demanding help with her luggage, his friendly vibe takes a hit. Her relentless requests—water bottles, snacks, and more—turn him into an unwilling assistant, until he finally draws the line. Was he heartless or just done with her entitlement?

This Reddit AITA post, crackling with frustration, captures the clash of courtesy and rudeness in tight quarters. With a sprinkle of humor and a vivid peek into his mid-flight saga, we dive into the tale, blending expert insights and Reddit’s fiery takes to explore social norms, personal boundaries, and the art of saying “no” at 30,000 feet. Let’s board this drama.

‘AITA for not assisting a lady to retrieve her luggage from overhead compartment?’

Got on a flight early, cos I was there early. A lady in her 50s-60s cut the queue just right behind me. It was the moment where people started walking so no one bothered saying anything. I settled into my seat next the the aisle (row C), minding my own business with my earphones in but slowly realised that the aisle traffic congested hard so I looked up.

Turns out that lady just stood there like a statue, frozr and blocked the way of the passengers behind her. I could tell because she didn't want to lift her stuff by herself. She wasn't big, but wasn't small either. I was about to pack my earphones away so I could help (I'm a Thai Aussie so like I'm double friendly).

She saw me moving so she turned to me and do that finger clicking thing in my face to get my attention and said

But s**t I had the worst flight. She interrupts my movie so I could open her water bottle. She interrupts my game to unpack her snack. I was sleeping and she literally turned on the light on purpose to wake me up for some stupid s**t that I had now started to ignore..

Also whatever I did for her she never said thank you or smile, none. The plane landed and she did the same s**t to me again but now demanding me retrieving the luggage for her. I declined in the most polite way possible :

I thought I would feel good, but I could sense all eyes looking at me like

This mid-air standoff isn’t just about luggage—it’s a lesson in entitlement and boundaries. The woman’s finger-snap and relentless demands, from opening water bottles to unpacking snacks, turned the user into her personal servant, ignoring his role as a fellow passenger. Her lack of gratitude and final luggage request, met with his polite refusal, highlight a power dynamic where politeness is mistaken for obligation. The judging stares? A classic case of bystander bias.

Etiquette expert Myka Meier notes, “Politeness doesn’t mean servitude; mutual respect is key in shared spaces” (source: Beaumont Etiquette). The woman’s behavior—demanding without courtesy—breaches this. Studies show 60% of travelers report stress from entitled behavior on flights, often tied to assumptions of free help (source: Travel Pulse). Her finger-snap, a universal sign of disrespect, set the tone for her oversteps.

The bigger issue: social pressure to “be nice” can trap us in unfair roles. The user’s hospitality background made him a target, but his refusal was self-preservation, not cruelty. Satirically, should he have been her butler too? His polite redirect to staff was spot-on. Next time, he could say, “I’m not staff, but they’re happy to help,” shutting down demands early.

These are the responses from Reddit users:

Reddit’s posse brought the heat, dishing out sharp quips and no-nonsense takes on this entitled flyer’s antics. Here’s a glimpse of their bold, laugh-out-loud reactions, roasting her rudeness to bits.

Oso_the-Bear − I would have been super turned off by the finger snap. That's like what a parent or teacher would do to a kid who was playing with their earphones in class. She probably felt in that moment like you were inattentive to the congestion going on and you should have been alert as a plane passenger teammate while everyone boarded.

She really should have instead tapped you on the shoulder and said

DANADIABOLIC − NTA Who cares about how they are looking at you, more than likely you will never see any of these people ever again.

DoolJjaeDdal − NTA. The finger snap was rude. If you can’t carry and lift your luggage yourself you should check it

LouisV25 − NTA. The finger snap would have stopped me from helping. You’re a better person than I am.

[Reddit User] − NTA. You used public transportation, you’re not a worker for other passengers as you are a passenger yourself

Middle-Relation9212 − I’m a 5’9” woman and once offered to help a VERY short older woman get her bag down and she screamed at me that she could do it herself

Delicious-Ad-9156 − Frankly after finger clicking i would say that i don't speak this master-to-slave language and would put my earphones back.  NTA 

[Reddit User] − Once I read a story about a random person who was actually smuggling. Somehow this shady person asked for help from another person with the luggage on the plane and started to make it look like they knew each other referring to him/her as they are friends. At the entry point the smuggler got caught and tried to drag the other person into the whole thing, which then had the fingerprints all over the luggage..

It was real hard for him to explain and get witnesses that they didn't know each other before the flight. After reading that story, if you ask me on a plane to help I am sorry but that ain't gonna be me. Ask the flight attendant, I won't get in trouble for being nice to a random person. Lady or not, elderly or not. Sorry not sorry. I will be that AH.. Anyhow. NTA.

AnimatorDifficult429 − No way she asked you to open her snack, come. On

VulonRogue − NTA the second she snapped her fingers she would have been on her own but the rest I'd have just raised an eyebrow and said

These Reddit zingers hit hard, but do they nail the truth, or are they just cheering from the cheap seats? They back the user, urging him to ditch the guilt and guard his peace.

This tale of a finger-snapping flyer and a fed-up passenger proves that courtesy has limits. The user drew a line, and Reddit’s cheers affirm his right to say “no.” But it leaves us wondering: when does helping cross into being used? Planes run on mutual respect, not entitlement. What would you do if a stranger treated you like staff? Drop your thoughts below—spill the tea and let’s unpack this turbulence!

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