AITA for not letting friends from out of town stay at my home?

Jonathan Hours
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In a bustling city where every minute counts, a 30-year-old woman found herself facing an audacious request from her boyfriend’s out-of-town friends. Jack and Liz, a wealthy couple with four kids, wanted to crash at her downtown home—oh, and they’d like her to clear out entirely for their “privacy.” Never mind that she’s never met them, or that her tightly packed schedule of school, two jobs, and caring for three dogs hinges on her prime location. Reddit’s buzzing with this boundary-testing saga.

The kicker? Her boyfriend’s disappointed she won’t play Airbnb for strangers, despite their local family ties and ample resources. With her dogs’ routine at stake and a commute nightmare looming, she said no, sparking a debate about entitlement and loyalty. Was she right to guard her space, or should she have rolled out the welcome mat? Let’s dive into this wild tale of house and home.

‘AITA for not letting friends from out of town stay at my home?’

My (30F) boyfriend (35M) has 2 friends who live in another state, let's call them Jack and Liz. They want to come visit us in our state with their 4 children, ages ranging from 5-10. I live in the downtown area of our city while my boyfriend lives about 1 hour away in the suburbs.

My house is close to where I go to school full-time (about a 5 minute walk) and also close to where I work (10 minute walk to my first job, 10 minute drive to my second job). I live with my 3 dogs and because of my busy schedule, I have a dog walker come everyday to feed and care for them.

When Jack and Liz come to visit with their kids, they are asking to stay at my house. Here's the thing though, they want me to leave my house so that their family can stay there with complete privacy. I think it is also worth noting that I have never met or spoken to Jack and Liz before (they are my boyfriend's friends and not mine).

Also, they are originally from our city, so they have their parents and family members who still live here. They seem pretty wealthy mostly because they tell my boyfriend that they are. Liz is a SAHM and has never worked before because Jack has had multiple inheritances from deceased family members and he brags about his high-paying job.

They also own about 10 rental properties that they collect passive income from (believe they bought these houses with the inheritances). Before meeting Jack, Liz also did not work because her family is wealthy and supported her. The thing is, my commute to work and school (I have one or both 7 days a week) is over an hour each way from my boyfriend's house in the suburbs.

I already have such long days that changing my commute to be 2+ hours a day, even for a week, is giving me anxiety with all of the stuff I have going on between work and school. Also, I don't have anyone to walk my dogs at my boyfriend's house and even if I were to hire a dog walker, he doesn't want a stranger having access to enter his house.

Finally, it would just be really uncomfortable to have to leave my own home and I am also nervous about having young children running around my house when I am not there and my home is not child proofed. So, AITA?

My boyfriend seems disappointed in me because I am not opening my home to his friends and I am already making a bad impression on them.  He also thinks that I am doing this because I am deciding to not like them based on what I know about them (just what I've heard from him).

Stuff like they are always asking to use my streaming logins but keep logging me out, when their dogs get old they abandon them at shelters so they can make room for new puppies...I do think that this kind of stuff bothers me BUT I think that even if it were my own friends making this housing request of me, I would tell them to get a hotel or stay at their parent's houses.

This housing standoff is a textbook clash of boundaries and entitlement. The woman’s refusal to vacate her home for strangers protects her demanding routine, while Jack and Liz’s request reeks of overreach, especially given their wealth and local connections. Her boyfriend’s disappointment, siding with his friends, hints at a troubling misalignment in their relationship.

Dr. Nedra Glover Tawwab, a boundaries expert, writes in Set Boundaries, Find Peace, “Saying no is an act of self-respect, not selfishness.” The woman’s stance aligns with this, prioritizing her stability over appeasing strangers. Her concerns—disrupting her commute, dog care, and home safety—are valid, especially with young children involved and her absence requested.

Entitlement in social relationships is rising. A 2022 study in the Journal of Social Psychology found that 30% of people expect unreciprocated favors from acquaintances, often tied to perceived status or wealth. Jack and Liz’s demand, coupled with their history of entitled behaviors (like abandoning pets), fits this pattern.

For solutions, Tawwab suggests clear communication. The woman could reiterate her boundaries to her boyfriend, emphasizing her home’s role in her life. A couples’ discussion to align on respecting each other’s space might prevent future conflicts. She might also suggest Jack and Liz stay at her boyfriend’s suburban home instead.

Check out how the community responded:

Reddit’s comment crew is serving up a storm of shock and support, with a side of shade for the audacious house-guests. Here’s a peek at the community’s fiery takes—grab a snack! These Reddit zingers are spicy, but do they nail the fix for this boundary breach? Let’s unpack it!

champagneformyrealfr − they want me to leave my house so that their family can stay there with complete privacy are they for real?? i cannot believe the audacity of *anyone* to ask you to do that, much less people you've never met before (and their four children).. NTA. tell them air bnb offers full property rentals to suit their privacy needs.

ETA: wow, thanks for all the awards, guys!! i just wanted to add that for anyone who stopped reading at the quote above, like me, she also said these people abandon their dogs at shelters when they get old, to make room for new puppies. *i would not let those people sleep in the dirtiest corner of my garage.*

[Reddit User] − NTA. Why can't they just go to your bf's house, and your bf can stay at your place ?! It would make way more sense.. Asking you to EXIT YOUR OWN HOME to give privacy to people IN YOUR HOME sound very entitled.

[Reddit User] − NTA and holy red flags about your boyfriend. No one is entitled to stay at your home and they especially aren't entitled to just take it over for a week. That's insane and no one with healthy boundaries would allow that to happen. The fact that your boyfriend is disappointed in you for wanting to stay in your own house is a huge red flag.

[Reddit User] − What kind of trashy people ask a complete stranger to vacate their house for free for an entire week so they can use it? Money does not buy class and this is a perfect example! No is a full sentence. Tell your boyfriend that exact thing! NTA but he can give up his place to them. Edited to add... Only broke people ask for other people's streaming service passwords. Those things are just a few dollars a month. Me thinks they lie about their wealth.

Gumgums66 − No you’re NTA wtaf? You’re not a frigging air B&B. Let me guess, they didn’t even offer anything to compensate. And with 4 kids, you can’t even trust that they won’t trash your house. Just say no to them. You have no obligation to them or your boyfriend to disrupt your working week or your dogs for them.

SatelliteBeach123 − NTA. Oh hell no. I don't even think that your commute, dogs, etc. are relevant. These people want you to leave YOUR home. People you have never met. Who does this? Absolutely not.

sreno77 − So they want a free air bnb. You don’t have to give them your house. They can stay with family or pay for accommodation like everyone else.. What were you expected to do with your dogs?. NTA

BabsieAllen − NTA. You're not an Airbnb. That they want you to leave your house, dogs and lifestyle for a week for strangers is ridiculous. This is a 2 yes, 1 no situation. Why is the bf so concerned with their comfort and not yours?

pudge-thefish − NTA this would be a hard hell no for me. I wouldn't even do that if they were my friends Edit to add, the first time I was logged out of my own streaming service I would change to password and not give it out any more

Key-Bit1208 − NTA People who will abandon family pets due to age in order to replace them with puppies are not decent or respectful individuals. If they will throw away a member of their family unit, they aren’t going to care about your belongings or your house (and neither will their children).

And MAJOR red flags that your bf thinks their demands are reasonable (they AREN’T) and is ‘disappointed’ that you aren’t bending over backwards to capitulate to his entitled and selfish friends.

This tale of a home under siege shows how quickly entitlement can test relationships and personal space. The woman’s firm no to vacating her house for strangers safeguarded her sanity, but her boyfriend’s reaction raises questions about loyalty and respect. Should she have compromised for his friends, or was her stand the only way? What would you do if strangers asked to take over your home? Drop your thoughts, stories, or advice in the comments—let’s hash out this wild hospitality drama together!

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