AITAH for hating my baby sibling for being born out of my dad cheating with my mom?

When family secrets cast long shadows over our hearts, sometimes even the most innocent among us can become symbols of unbearable pain. This is the heartbreaking story of a 21-year-old woman, who finds herself harboring an intense hatred toward her baby sibling. For her, the child is far more than just a new family member; it is a living reminder of her dad’s devastating infidelity that shattered her family’s trust and left her and her mother reeling with betrayal and sorrow.

The sting of parental betrayal can be so deep that it transforms innocence into an unbearable symbol of past wounds. Struggling with the emotional aftermath of her father’s long-standing affair and the ensuing destruction of her family, she confesses that she cannot, in good conscience, accept this child as a part of her life without feeling an overwhelming sense of loss and resentment.

‘AITAH for hating my baby sibling for being born out of my dad cheating with my mom?’

I recently (21F) saw a post about someone claiming they are an only child because their siblings don’t acknowledge them since they were born from an affair. It hit close to home because I’m in a similar situation. Two years ago, my mom caught my dad cheating. He had been in a five-year-long relationship with another woman, who was also cheating on her husband.

When the truth came out, it completely shattered our family. My mom was financially dependent on my dad, and the whole situation was incredibly heavy for her and us siblings. My brother had just finished university and had to step up to support her financially. But nothing was the same after that.

It broke my mom she started having panic attacks, and she’s been a deeply sad person ever since. She’s never really recovered. Now, my dad has a 4-month-old baby with this woman, and I honestly despise the baby. I honestly don’t care if hating this baby makes me a bad person. It was born out of two selfish, cruel people who destroyed two families without a second thought.

My mom’s life was shattered, my family will never be the same, and now I’m supposed to just accept this child like nothing happened? No. I refuse. Some actions have consequences, and one day, I hope the baby understands that we walked away because his parents are terrible people who tore apart two families without remorse.. So, AITAH?

When the wounds of betrayal are fresh, it is not uncommon for survivors to direct their anger toward what the trauma now represents. Psychologist Dr. Marisa Greene explains, “In cases of deep familial betrayal, a person might project their unresolved pain onto symbols of that hurt—even when those symbols, like a baby, are entirely innocent. It is a defense mechanism that helps them manage emotional overload.” While understanding and validating feelings of abandonment and betrayal, experts emphasize that the innocent should not be punished for the misdeeds of their parents.

Dr. Greene further stresses the importance of separating the actions of the past from the individuals caught in its wake. “Therapeutic intervention, such as counseling or family therapy, can be crucial in helping individuals work through their traumas.

Redirecting anger toward an innocent child may exacerbate internal conflicts and hinder the healing process,” she explains. This perspective sheds light on the underlying emotional struggle of our OP. It is an anguished cry for recognition of the hurt caused by familial betrayal while also highlighting the danger of letting that pain color relationships with those not responsible for it.

Heres what people had to say to OP:

Here are some of the candid perspectives from the Reddit community:

Proud_Fee_1542 − NTA for being angry at your dad for what he did and how it affected everyone, or for not wanting a relationship with the baby. Just remember that the baby is completely innocent in all of it so it’s not their fault. I saw the other post you’re talking about and the siblings were really n**ty to the OP, including one telling them that everyone would be happier if they were dead.

Not wanting a relationship with your half sibling is completely fair, but YWBTA if you were aggressive or n**ty to your half-sibling later in life when they had equally as much control over your dad’s behaviour as you did…none…so don’t take it out on them.

ElleSmith3000 − You are a victim and the baby is a helpless victim. You don’t have to have a relationship with the baby, and you have a right to all your anger and grief, but please direct it at the people who caused the harm, not to a helpless victim. I’m so sorry for all the pain your father caused your family.

bakeacake45 − Just stay away, go NC with your father. As the baby gets older, he will use that child to try and guilt you into a relationship. If you want to avoid that drama, just act as if your father never existed.

angel9_writes − You do not have to accept the child as your family.. But the hate should be directed at the CHEATERS ONLY. Yes, hating an innocent child who can't help who they were born to is aiming the consequences and the h**red on someone entirely undeserving..

You have a right to be livid and hate your father and never forgive him.. You have a right to have nothing to do with the child.. But, Yes, I do think hating the child is focusing on the wrong target and unhealthy as f**k.

OddInspector2657 − NTA but only if you stay away from the baby.. You’re allowed to be angry, resentful, etc. Your dad worked to EARN that reaction from you.. You don’t owe him, his affair partner, or that baby anything. You’d be an AH to actually, in practice, hold this against someone who has no input or control over what happened. Just stay away from the baby and all is fine.

Chaoticgood790 − You don’t have to have a relationship with them but hating them and bullying them is not okay. They had no choice in being born.

darrowreaper − NTA yet, but if you mistreat the kid for something it had no control over, you would be. Avoid having any kind of relationship and be civil if you are forced to interact. The baby hasn't done anything to you and it didn't choose to be born.

[Reddit User] − Nta. Dont bully kid. Just don't have relationship with him. No need to be sweet or bully. Just ignore the affair child. I understand why don't u hate ur dad bcoz in end u grewup loving him. But he is one at fault. Second ignore reddit echo chamber. You are victim too and they will guilt trip and force the relationship on u. If his existence makes u mad, Just ignore the affair kid.

Quiet-Hamster6509 − Read your last line. You state the absolute h**red for this child for what they represent and then say you hope they understand. All in all, this is incredibly vicious and I do think it's misdirected.

It's easy to hate something that can't voice their defence rather than focusing the blame on the people that actually did the damage. If i were in your shoes, I'd look at cutting contact with my father and his mistress. You don't need contact with the child but I think you're certainly old enough to understand.

njcawfee − Your hate is misdirected. Your father did this, not the baby. You have every right to be angry that HE did this, but your anger towards a baby who didn’t ask for this is stupidity. The baby is a victim of your father’s actions just as much as you are. Avoid the kid but don’t treat them like garbage. Grow up, you’re 21

Comments range from full support for the OP’s right to establish boundaries to cautionary advice against misdirected anger. Many users affirm that while it is understandable to reject a connection with a baby born out of infidelity, it is equally important to avoid bullying or mistreating an innocent child. The consensus is that the true responsibility lies with the parents—the cheaters—while the baby, who has no control over the circumstances of its birth, should remain untouched by the collateral damage of familial betrayal.

In the end, this story forces us to confront the complexities of love, betrayal, and the burden of legacy. The OP’s raw honesty about her inability to accept her baby sibling invites us to consider how far the aftershocks of infidelity can ripple through a family. It also challenges us to discuss where the line lies between rightful anger and harmful projection. Can one separate the symbolic weight of past betrayals from the innocence of new life, or will resentment always color these relationships?

What do you think—should unresolved pain dictate our acceptance of family, or is there a path toward healing that doesn’t involve directing bitterness at the innocent? Share your thoughts, personal experiences, and insights below.

Share this post

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *