AITAH for cutting my sister out of my life after she lied?

Picture a sunlit wedding, where love sparkles in every frame, captured by a photographer who’s poured her heart into every click. For one woman, this wasn’t just any gig—it was her nephew’s big day, a family affair she agreed to shoot for a fraction of her usual fee. But what began as a labor of love turned sour when her sister dodged payment and spun a web of lies, leaving the photographer feeling like a villain in her own family’s story.

Being the “family artist” often comes with unspoken expectations, but this tale hits harder. The sting of betrayal cut deep when whispers reached her that she was “holding photos hostage.” Reddit users rallied around her post, and it’s easy to see why. Who hasn’t felt taken for granted? Her story invites us to question: when does family loyalty outweigh standing up for yourself?

‘AITAH for cutting my sister out of my life after she lied?’

I (37F) am a wedding photographer. I have been a photographer for 14yrs. Over the years my sisters have used me for everything from family to newborn pics and never paid me or even offered - to me it's not the payment it's the offer that means more to me, shows you appreciate me - to pay me.

It's annoyed me and I've made little comments here and there over the years about not getting paid and just offering and still got nothing. It never fully bothered me because it was maybe 3hrs of my life including the session and editing so not a huge deal I'd just let it go. August of 2024 my nephew was getting married. Before he popped the question my sister (45F) asked me if I'd do the wedding.

I said yes and we AGREED on a price of $2000. Now let me say my pricing for what she wanted is $5200, I'm not a cheap photographer, in my area I'm on the higher end. Anyways, we came to an agreement, settled payment dates etc. My nephew pops the question and she says yes. Fast forward to 1 month before the wedding. My sister pays me $1000 and says she will pay me more asap.

Now I know what you're thinking but she has 3 jobs and paid for a huge portion of the wedding herself, but we had dates agreed on because I know she'd need more time to pay me off. It's not what I usually do, usually you have to pay off the balance 1 month before the wedding but like I said she's doing it on her own and she's my sister so I didn't think it would be an issue.

I do the wedding and everything is amazing. 1 month later I tell my sister the pictures are done and her bill is due soon and as soon as she pays the pics will be released, and she says I'll pay asap. Ok. Sure. 2 months, still nothing. 3 months I send her a few texts over this time reminding her and she still says the same thing.

4 months later I'm starting to feel really bad for my nephew and his new wife that they don't have their pics. I'm always a push over with my family but my husband (39M) told me to NOT give her the pics until she paid in full, but it's killing me inside because my nephew and his wife are paying for his moms f**k up.

At month 5 my other sister (39F) calls me and tells me my sister is going around telling everyone

I lost it. I texted her that I heard what she said and she didn't deny a thing, even went as far as to blame me for everything. My family started calling me asking why I was doing this and I had to send screen shots of our whole condos and everything to show she's lying. 7 months later she just started to pay me the remainder she owed me.

I know she was waiting for me to hand over the pics and wipe my hands clean and forget about the money or tell her to pay me whenever she can like I've always done being the push over but like I said my husband wouldn't let me because I did the job and should get paid for it.

Come to find out she told my other sister

Family ties can tangle with professional boundaries, turning a labor of love into a lesson in self-respect. This photographer’s saga—agreeing to a discounted wedding shoot only to face lies and delays—shows how blurred lines can lead to hurt. Dr. Susan Forward, an expert on toxic relationships, writes, “When someone betrays your trust, it’s not your fault, but it is your responsibility to protect yourself” (source: Toxic Parents).

The sister’s actions, from dodging payment to spreading lies, scream entitlement. Psychologically, this reflects a pattern where family members exploit assumed loyalty, expecting free passes. The photographer’s frustration mirrors a broader issue: 68% of freelancers report unpaid work from clients, with family jobs often the worst offenders (source). Her sister likely banked on past leniency, assuming she’d cave again.

Dr. Forward’s advice—set firm boundaries—applies here. The photographer’s decision to withhold photos was a stand for her worth, not greed. Moving forward, clear contracts, even with family, could prevent repeats.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

Reddit didn’t hold back, dishing out support with a side of sass. Here’s a taste of the community’s reactions—bold, blunt, and occasionally hilarious.

[Reddit User] − Ding-ding! You are the champion. NTA. Edit:

Medusa_7898 − Never do anything for free or a discount for her again.

Regular_Boot_3540 − NTA. Absolutely have nothing to do with her after this, and start charging family for your work. You've done enough already.

plantprinses − You are a professional wedding photographer. Your sister hired you knowing that. Then she decided to change the rules of the game and wanted you to work for free. That's just not on. She's a customer and that means that if a customer doesn't pay, she doesn't get the pictures. Simple as. Who needs someone in their lives who can't be trusted and who backstabs you the moment your back is turned? You did well!

Careless-Image-885 − NTA. Lesson finally learned. The words from now on are NO FREEBIES FOR ANYONE. When asked why, just tell them that sister ruined a good thing for everyone.. If ever asked again, just send the list of prices.

SaucyGooner79 − Your sister is a liar and an entitled mooch. Two qualities you don't need in your life. NTA.

littlefiddle05 − NTA. This is a good lesson to stop doing jobs for family. Next time you’re asked, say “I’m sorry, but I’m no longer doing work for family. After what happened with (sister), I don’t want to risk being talked about and lied about behind my back again. It’s safer for me to just not mix work and family.”

Also, if anyone says anything about how you shouldn’t have charged because he’s your nephew and you would have been there anyway, I’d try saying something like this: “Exactly, it was *my nephew’s wedding.* if anyone else had asked me to work that day, I would have declined because having that day to celebrate with my family was worth more to me than what anyone could have paid.

But instead of enjoying the celebration and bonding with everyone there, I spent the day working. If anything, this cost me *more* than any other job: in addition to doing all the work of any other booking, I also missed out on the celebration and family time. And even though it cost me more than other jobs, I still charged less than half of my usual fee.”

Substantial_Lab2211 − NTA, your sister got used to taking advantage of you. Good on your husband for telling you not to release the photos. I have an aunt who’s a photographer and could never ask her to shoot anything without asking her rates and insisting on paying.

NatashOverWorld − It's one type of s**tty behaviour to expect freebies because its family. It's entirely another one to lie and slander you because you held to your boundaries.. Cut out toxic people, even if they were related to you.. NTA

Let_go_and_Let_Them − Wow a lot of mooching family members responding. NTA. You set a price, a huge discount and your sister LIED about you. She’s the AH. The whole situation sucks I would keep your business and family separate from now on.

Sure, Reddit’s got opinions galore, but do they nail the whole truth? Family drama’s rarely black-and-white, and these takes leave us wondering what’s next.

This photographer’s story—from family pushover to boundary-setter—reminds us that even love has limits. Her sister’s lies turned a wedding album into a battleground, but standing firm showed her strength. Cutting contact might feel harsh, but sometimes it’s the only way to reclaim respect. Have you ever had to draw a hard line with family over work or money? What would you do in her shoes? Drop your thoughts below!

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