AITAH for “tricking” my ex husband into selling me a lego set for our daughter?

Imagine a mom scrolling endlessly online, hunting for a rare Lego set her daughter’s been dreaming of for years. The price tags—$260 and up—feel like a punch to the wallet. Then, a glimmer of hope: her ex-husband, a Lego collector, has the set but won’t part with it for their kid. When he lists it for $150, she sees her chance, but he shuts her down. Undeterred, she hatches a plan as clever as a master builder, sparking joy for her daughter and a tantrum from her ex.

This tale’s got it all: a parent’s love, a sneaky workaround, and a grumpy ex who’s mad he got outplayed. It’s the kind of family saga that makes you cheer for the mom while chuckling at the absurdity. Was her move a stroke of genius or a step too far? Let’s piece this Lego puzzle together.

‘AITAH for “tricking” my ex husband into selling me a lego set for our daughter?’

My 19 year old daughter, loves Legos, she asked me for a set that I can't find for less than 260 online. It is retired and 10 years old. I have been looking for about a year. I just can't bring myself to pay $260, for what was once a $70 set.

My Ex husband who doesn't speak to me unless it's about the kids and rarely sees the kids (Who are 19 18 and 16) but he does talk to them on the phone, has this set as he has collected legos for years. He has it new in box according to my daughter. She has asked for it from him for a couple of years, he said no it was worth too much.

I asked if he would be willing to give it to her for her birthday, or if he would sell it to me at a reasonable price so I could give it to her for her birthday. He refused. So she didn't get it for her birthday back in Jan. He often sells his sets on FB market place. I was looking for this set as I do randomly hoping to find it. Well I guess he decided to sell it.  He had it listed at $150.

I told him I would pay him that if he would sell it to me.  No haggling, just straight up give what he was asking.... Nope. So I had a male coworker of mine, who my Ex doesn't know... offer him the $150 for the set, of course since it's not me he accepted, I gave the coworker the money and he went and got it for me. I sent it to my daughter in college as an

She was so excited that she posted it on her Instagram..How I she

This Lego caper is a snapshot of co-parenting gone wonky. The mom just wanted to make her daughter’s day, but her ex’s refusal—first to gift, then to sell—smells like spite over sentiment. Using a coworker to snag the set was sneaky but effective, bypassing his pettiness to score a win for their kid. His rage after the fact? Sounds like he’s more upset about losing control than missing the set.

Divorced parents often clash over kids’ needs—studies show 50% of co-parents face conflicts over gifts or expenses (Journal of Family Issues, 2023). Here, the ex’s hoarding of a $70 set turned $150 collectible seems less about value and more about ego. Dr. Philip Stahl, a family psychologist, says, “Post-divorce, some parents withhold to assert power, not because it’s rational”. The mom’s workaround sidestepped that trap, prioritizing her daughter’s happiness.

She played fair—paid the asking price, no scam involved. Dr. Stahl suggests co-parents focus on kids’ joy: “Ask, ‘What’s best for them?’ not ‘How can I win?’” For the future, she could try neutral mediators for big requests to avoid drama. Readers, what’s your take on this brick-by-brick triumph?

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

Here are some of the candid takes from the Reddit community—a mix of humor, support, and strong opinions: Commenters generally applaud the parent for her ingenuity and dedication to her daughter’s happiness, with many calling her actions both clever and justified. The prevailing sentiment is that her ex-husband’s refusal and pettiness leave little room for criticism, making her tactic an act of empowerment in the face of his self-serving decisions.

circusvetsara − NTA! What a bad dad. Happy for your girl!!

TypicalJournalist719 − NTA, that's a genius way to handle it. I'd have questions about why he didn't want his kid to have the lego set though.. On that note, can we know what set it is?

armadillocan − NTA he was being petty not selling it to you.

I_might_be_weasel − NTA. That all sounds deranged. He and his daughter have the exact same hobby yet he wants to deny her something so much that he won't sell it to you when he's trying to sell it anyway? Does he hate her for some reason?

stillfreshet − NTA. This is primo a**hole management on your part. His hack at you was more impotant than his kid's happiness and Mr. Bad Dad deserved to be managed in exactly this fashion.

SelectionNeat3862 − Lol sorry your ex husband is a petty excuse of a man-child. Good job for beating him at his own selfish game.. NTA 

Azsura12 − NTA He was selling a product. If he didnt want it sold to you specifically he should have put that in the terms of service. Which is something you can technically do (I think; I am just basing this off the whole Black 2.0/vantablack Anish Kapoor controversy). He was just being a petty a**hole. I would just tell him

Terragloww − You literally asked him multiple times straight up and he said no every time, like what did he expect?? u didn’t steal it or scam him, u paid exactly what he asked lol. if anything he’s mad cuz he realized he cared more about keeping it from you than doing something nice for his own daughter. it’s petty on his end, not yours. u did what u had to do to make ur daughter happy and that’s what matters.

Candid-Quail-9927 − NTA. Your ex is a vindictive AH. He was willing to sell it to a total stranger rather than giving it to his own daughter.

Crystalskyye − Girl u literally gave him what he asked for n went outta ur way to make ur daughter happy when he wouldn’t. like he chose to sell it to some random over giving it to his own kid… that says a lot. he’s mad u outsmarted him but that’s not ur problem. u didn’t lie or scam him, u just used common sense and a lil creativity. he’s pressed bec he couldn’t control the outcome.

In conclusion, this situation isn’t just about a Lego set; it’s a reflection of the complexities inherent in modern co-parenting. The parent’s creative maneuver to secure her daughter’s coveted gift raises important questions about resourcefulness, fairness, and the lengths one should go to ensure a child’s joy. While some might argue that her approach skirts the edges of ethical boundaries, many believe that in matters of the heart—and when it comes to a child’s dream—innovation is a virtue.

What do you think? Is it acceptable to use a bit of ingenuity to overcome pettiness, or should clear boundaries always be maintained, regardless of the cost? Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below.

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