AITA for telling my sister she shouldn’t have brought her baby to my adults-only party?

Jonathan Hours
Comments 0 Comments

Picture a cozy apartment buzzing with laughter, clinking glasses, and a killer playlist setting the perfect mood. A 30-year-old guy and his girlfriend are hosting their first big get-together in ages, expecting a night of carefree chats and good vibes. But when his sister rolls in with her two-month-old baby—despite a gentle heads-up that it’s an adults-only affair—the party takes an unexpected detour. Fussing, nursing, and an early exit later, the host’s honest text stirs up family drama.

This tale is a classic clash of new parenthood and party plans, sprinkled with missteps and hurt feelings. The brother’s left wondering if his candor was too sharp, while his sister feels judged for her mom life. It’s a relatable pickle that begs the question: how do you balance family love with keeping the vibe just right? Let’s dive in.

‘AITA for telling my sister she shouldn’t have brought her baby to my adults-only party?’

I (30M) recently had a minor falling out with my sister (28F), and I’m not sure if I overstepped or if she’s being too sensitive. She had her first baby two months ago. I’ve been really happy for her — I’m not super into kids myself, but I get that it’s a huge deal for her.

She and her husband are both very

I invited my sister and her husband too, but told her upfront it was going to be more of a “chill adult night” and probably not the best place to bring the baby. I assumed they’d get a sitter or just one of them would come. They showed up *with* the baby. I was a little surprised but tried to be polite.

Within like 15 minutes, the baby started fussing, and my sister ended up sitting on the couch nursing him with a blanket over her, while her husband hovered around awkwardly trying to calm him down. It totally changed the vibe — the music got turned down, a couple people left early, and the rest of us were just kind of keeping our distance. It felt less like a party and more like a weird family visit.

After they left (early, because the baby was fussy), I texted her the next day and said I wished she had respected the vibe of the night and either come without the baby or just skipped it altogether. I said I didn’t want to sound harsh, but it kind of threw off the whole thing and made people uncomfortable. She replied saying she felt embarrassed and like I was shaming her for being a mom.

She said she didn’t think it would be a big deal and that if people were uncomfortable, that was on them. Now she’s barely responding to my messages and told our mom that I

This party-turned-nursery saga is a masterclass in miscommunication. The host thought his “not the best place for a baby” hint was clear, but his sister, deep in new-mom haze, heard an invitation with wiggle room. Her baby’s presence flipped the night’s carefree script, leaving guests tiptoeing around. His follow-up text, meant as honest feedback, landed like a jab to her already tender mom heart. Both meant well, but wires got crossed.

New parenthood shifts priorities—fast. A 2022 study by Parenting.com found 68% of new parents struggle to balance social lives with baby demands, especially in the first three months. Breastfeeding moms, like the sister, often can’t leave infants for long, making sitters tricky. Dr. Harvey Karp, pediatrician and author of The Happiest Baby on the Block, notes, “New parents are wired to put baby first—it’s biology, not defiance”. Her choice to bring the baby likely stemmed from this instinct, not disregard.

Still, the host’s desire for an adult night was valid. Dr. Karp suggests clear boundaries: “Say ‘no kids, please’ upfront to avoid hurt feelings.” The host could’ve been firmer—think “babies can’t come” versus a soft hint. To mend things, he might say, “I didn’t mean to upset you—let’s plan a baby-friendly hang soon.” Hosting a mix of kid-free and family events could keep everyone happy. Readers, how would you smooth this party snafu?

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

Below are some candid takes from the Reddit community—a blend of humor, pragmatic advice, and firm opinions: Many commenters underscored the importance of being explicit when planning events, suggesting that a straightforward “no kids allowed” rule would have eliminated any ambiguity.

Others sympathized with the sister, pointing out that with a two-month-old, finding a babysitter isn’t always practical. Regardless, a common sentiment is that clear communication could prevent future misunderstandings and maintain both a good party vibe and healthy family relationships.

WasteLeave900 − I know you were trying to be sensitive, but I would suggest being very blunt about it moving forward. Rather than saying it’s probably best not to bring the baby, outright state the baby isn’t allowed, that way there’s zero room for interpretation

Express_Chance_5460 − I’m not calling either one of you an AH, but I do think the initial communication was open to interpretation. You said it was “probably not the best place to bring a baby” and her and your BIL probably talked and decided it would be fine since it was at your place.. Next time, be straightforward and let her know it’s an “adult only, kid free” party.

Medusa_7898 − Don’t hint about that. Tell people when you invite them, no children or babies are invited.

bino0526 − NTA.. Next time, be more specific. NO KIDS‼️‼️especially as the baby gets older. Your sister and her husband are like a lot of parents in that they think that it's ok to bring their kids no matter the occasion.. Don't be guilted or bullied into apologizing.. Now is the time for your sister to respect that every occasion is not for kids.. Updateme

Fennicular − People with 2 month old babies don't just casually leave them home with a babysitter. At that stage it's very likely the Mum hasn't been away from the baby for more than 20 minutes at a time, if that, and if she is breastfeeding she really can't be away for more than an hour or two including travel time and that hour or two may or may not align with your party schedule.

You aren't TA for not knowing this, but YTA for getting upset other people didn't interpret your gentle suggestions as firm rules.. Next time, if you don't want someone to bring their baby, tell them that. Use clear, direct language. And be prepared for that to negatively impact your relationship: once people have kids, their life changes.

The socialising they do will need to be baby- and then kid-friendly. They will talk about their baby a lot because babies take up your whole life (especially at first!), and they will need to put the baby first. If you aren't up for that, they are going to spend a lot less time with you.

Dramatic-Education32 − Gotta be straightforward with a no kid rule. Mom of 4 here and I never get offended when someone says no kids allowed. I just end up not going and that’s okay!

procivseth − *...probably not the best place to bring the baby. I assumed...*

KillerQueen1008 − Eh, I think no one is the AH, it’s a new phase, you weren’t very explicit in saying the baby shouldn’t come and also a bit naive, inviting your sister to an event with no kids when she has a 2 month old. You don’t really leave a 2 month old at hope, especially when breastfeeding unless it’s like a wedding or something..

Also she probably should have said no. My friends always invite me to things and if it’s not baby friendly I either leave her with my husband or don’t go. Hopefully she will learn, and so will you. Be explicit and do events she can bring baby too as well. You may not like baby’s (fair) but they are a package deal now.

Silent-Yak-4331 − NTA. Mother of three but for some people you must be precise. When my babies were little we took turns when these types of events happened. We each deserved a break. I would go for a shorter time in their first 6 months because I exclusively breastfed. I would never have thought to bring my baby to a chill adult get together unless they asked me to.

CatchMysterious1093 − Speaking as a mom, always be up front and blunt about no kids allowed. If people dont like it they dont have to come (family, friends, or whoever). You were being nice and trying to be delicate which I understand but you cant. Its your party, place, whatever and you have a right to decide if you want kids there. I always ask straight up if its unclear. NTA though.

This party hiccup shows how fast good intentions can trip over unclear words. The brother wanted a night of grown-up fun; his sister wanted to stay connected while juggling mom life. Both got burned by assumptions, leaving a rift to patch. It’s a nudge to speak plainly and love flexibly—babies and all. What would you do to keep the peace after a vibe-killing guest? Drop your ideas below and let’s keep the convo popping!

Share this post

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *