AITA for telling my dad’s ex wife I don’t care about her or her kid?

Picture a teenager, just shy of 18, navigating life’s choppy waters with a backpack full of independence. In a world where family ties can feel like tangled ropes, this young man finds himself dodging persistent texts from his father’s ex-wife, who’s desperate to weave him into her new baby’s life. His dad, barely a presence since childhood, left this woman and her child in the dust, yet she clings to the teen as a lifeline. Frustration bubbles over, and one sharp text—I don’t care about you or your kid—ignites a firestorm.

It’s a story that hums with raw emotion: a kid carving his own path while fending off unwanted family ties. Readers feel the weight of his choice, caught between guilt and the fierce need for peace. Is he cold-hearted, or just protecting his hard-won boundaries? Let’s dive into this messy, human tale.

‘AITA for telling my dad’s ex wife I don’t care about her or her kid?’

My parents divorced when I was 2 or younger. I (17) lived with my mom until she died when I was 7 and then my dad decided to stop me going into foster care. He wasn't an involved dad before mom died and he didn't become one after either but he kept a roof over my head and food in my belly so he did something I guess.

I got used to doing things for myself and spent most of my time bouncing around some friends houses. I tried to never stay too long so they wouldn't grow tired of having me around and it's worked. I'm 17 now and I have less than a year to go. When I was 15 my dad started dating someone and they got married right before my 16th birthday.

They were married for a few months when my dad left her. She was pregnant at the time. He told her he wanted to divorce and that was it. She moved out but tried to win him back and she tried to build some kind of relationship with me and she said she wanted me to know her baby. I wasn't interested so I ignored her.

The baby was born and they did a DNA test and the baby's my dad's kid. The divorce was finalized a while after that. My dad has nothing to do with his ex's child and I never met the baby either. Dad has support taken from his paycheck but that's all he has to do with that kid. His ex wife kept trying to reach me via socials and text.

I blocked her number and made my accounts private so she couldn't reach me but the texts didn't stop even with blocking her. It's always some different or weird number. She told me dad might not want to know but I'm a big brother and her child deserves to have a good relationship with me. I don't want one. I'm not interested in meeting her child.

Being related doesn't do anything for me. I ignored her for weeks before I snapped the other night after she said she was the mother to my sibling and I had a sibling and they cared about me and needed me and I sent a text back saying I don't care about her or her kid and to leave me alone.

I blocked that number then but she did what she keeps doing. My next step is once I'm 18 get a new number and just move on. But ever since I sent that text she's been calling me names and saying only a monster wouldn't love their own flesh and blood sibling.. AITA?

This teenager’s clash with his dad’s ex-wife is a heart-wrenching knot of boundaries and broken family ties. He’s clear: he wants no part in her life or her child’s, yet her relentless texts push him to a breaking point. Her persistence, while rooted in hope for her baby, ignores his need for space—a need sharpened by a childhood of fending for himself. Meanwhile, she’s grappling with her own pain, abandoned by a man who fathered both her child and the teen.

This dynamic mirrors a broader issue: navigating half-sibling relationships when trust is scarce. A 2021 study by the American Psychological Association found that 30% of blended families face tension over sibling bonds, often due to differing parental involvement. Here, the teen’s dad’s absence fuels the disconnect, leaving the ex-wife to seek connection where none exists.

Dr. Joshua Coleman, a psychologist specializing in family estrangement, says, “Forcing relationships, especially with teenagers, can backfire when trust hasn’t been built”. The teen’s blunt text reflects years of self-reliance, not cruelty. Dr. Coleman’s insight suggests he’s guarding his emotional bandwidth, a valid choice given his father’s neglect.

For solutions, boundaries are key. The teen could firmly restate his stance—perhaps with a scripted message like, “I’m not open to contact; please respect that”—and save evidence of her texts for legal advice if needed. Dr. Coleman advises, “Clear communication, not confrontation, preserves peace.”

Heres what people had to say to OP:

Here are some candid takes from the Reddit community—humorous, blunt, and fiercely opinionated These diverse opinions range from straightforward support for the teen’s need to draw a line to recommendations for involving authorities to curb the continuous harassment. The community’s vibrant discussion underscores the often messy interplay between family loyalty and the necessity of healthy personal boundaries.

ProfessorDistinct835 − NTA. Maybe get your dad involved. She's his ex and he should deal with her.

Sea_Roof3637 − She wants a babysitter. NTA

shammy_dammy − Inform her that you are building a case for harassment to take to the police.

Sure_Assist_7437 − NTA, the next time she messages you send her this.

Your relationship with my Father is his business and not mine. Youre continuing harassment over his lack of involvement as well as mine, and I've done my best to explain I do not wish to have a relationship with you or your child. Continued pressure & harassment will result in a Protective Order against you if you do not stop.

Unfortunately, bordering on adulthood at 17 means you need to speak like an adult & put your point across without childish actions or speech. But escalate it if she does not stop. Go to the Police yourself, explain the situation. Protect yourself & your peace.

Bastet79 − NTA.. Ask the police for advice how to handle this herassment of a minor.

Nonby_Gremlin − Yeah if she didn’t pay much attention to you before I’m inclined to think she’s trying to get you involved so she has some help with the baby. I feel bad for her but she’s not your problem. I. I’d 100% let your dad die alone, he’s awful.

Ok_Childhood_9774 − NTA. You may be related by blood, but you have no relationship with this child and no interest in having one. Your dad is a first-class jerk, but that's his ex-wife's problem. Continue to block and move on.

deux-peches − First, your dad is a first-class POS. I hope you don't follow in his footsteps. Second, You don't owe his ex-wife or your half-sibling anything. If you feel something great. If you feel nothing, then it isn't your problem. She should hear you and respect your decision. She hooked up with your loser dad (I'm sure there were many red flags) so that's on her and her. Not your problem. I'll say it again. Your dad is a royal POS.

ElPayador − Your Dad is a POS 😢. Hung in there… keep in school and keep improving: never give up!

MogamboKhushNAHIHua − Man I hate absent fathers. They be destroying everything around them including themselves.. Stay strong mate, that ain’t yours to take responsibility.

In conclusion, the teen’s decision to sever unwanted contact with his dad’s ex-wife shines a light on broader issues of emotional autonomy and family responsibility. The case compels us to reflect on how blurred familial roles can lead to boundary violations that linger well into adolescence.

What do you think: Should family ties demand unconditional acceptance, or is it fair for individuals to protect their peace even at the risk of straining blood relations? Share your views and experiences below—let’s open the discussion on navigating complicated family dynamics in today’s world.

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