AITA for not changing my baby’s name AGAIN after I changed it for my sister once already

Jonathan Hours
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In a cozy family home, where memories of beloved grandmothers linger like the scent of fresh roses, a naming saga unfolds. A woman, expecting her second daughter, finds herself tangled in a prickly dispute with her sister over a name that honors their late nana Rose. What started as a gesture of love for a cherished grandmother spirals into a clash of wills, with both sisters staking claim to the same floral-inspired name—Rosalie. The tension simmers, leaving the family buzzing like a hive, each member picking sides in this delicate dance of tradition and pride.

The stakes feel personal, as the woman wrestles with her heart’s attachment to a name that sings of her grandmother’s warmth. Readers can’t help but lean in, wondering: is this a battle of honor or a stubborn standoff? The story tugs at the heartstrings, evoking the universal struggle of balancing family ties with standing one’s ground, all while navigating the joy—and chaos—of welcoming a new life.

‘AITA for not changing my baby’s name AGAIN after I changed it for my sister once already?’

All names are fake. I have a 9 year old daughter, and another on the way. I had 2 grandmothers:

When I found out I was pregnant with a second, I decided to name her after nana Rose, who passed in 2017. My sister,

She says I already have Annabelle, and I could have named her Annabelle Rose or something but passed up the chance, so I can't also have Rose. I figure this is not the hill to die on, so I say I'll look for something else, but reserve the right to use Rose. I then crack open a baby book, and a few entries after

Honours nana Rose, doesn't p**s off Lucy, and my boyfriend loves it. Lucy finds out the new name and says it's lovely and she approves, which annoys me but I say nothing. This all takes place in the 8th month of her pregnancy, 3rd month of mine, so I don't even know the gender yet and this is all hypothetical.

A couple weeks later Lucy gives birth. A few days ago, about a month after birth, she announces that her daughter's name is Rosalie. At this point, I'm really annoyed, because I went to great lengths to leave the name Rose available, and she's nicked my choice.  Mum calls me to say she knew what Lucy was planning and she hopes I'm not upset, because this means I can now name my incoming daughter Rose.

Except I'm now attached to Rosalie. I tell mum that I'm sticking with Rosalie. She says Lucy has Rosalie, I say there's going to be 2 Rosalies in the family.  She says this is impractical as both Rosalies will have the same surname (sister is a single mum, boyfriend is taking my name) and they will likely be in the same school and year group, so this will cause all manner of issues.

I say if it's going to be an issue, then I'll deal with it if/when it comes up. Lucy then calls me, calling me an inconsiderate p**ck, and says I'm being petty, that I don't have a monopoly on the name, and that she can name her kid what she likes. I said that's all true, so by that same logic I can use Rosalie.

She says there can't be 2 Rosalies, as it'll cause problems, and I say she's the one who has a problem with it, so she can change her kid's name or deal with it. She again called me an inconsiderate, spiteful, arse, and hung up. Mum, dad, and our brother all side with Lucy.. AITA?

Family naming disputes can bloom into thorny conflicts, as this story vividly shows. The woman’s determination to honor her grandmother clashes with her sister’s equally firm choice, creating a tangle of emotions. Both sisters are digging in, but what’s driving this tug-of-war? The woman feels betrayed after adjusting her plans to keep the peace, only for her sister to claim Rosalie—a name she’d shared in good faith. Meanwhile, Lucy’s insistence on exclusivity hints at deeper insecurities, perhaps a need to carve out her own legacy.

This squabble reflects a broader issue: naming traditions often carry heavy emotional weight. According to a 2019 study by BabyCenter, 12% of parents reported family disagreements over baby names, with many citing pressure to honor relatives. The sisters’ clash isn’t just about Rosalie—it’s about fairness, respect, and who gets to define family memory.

Dr. Susan Newman, a social psychologist specializing in family dynamics, notes, “Names are powerful symbols of identity and connection. When family members compete over them, it’s often less about the name itself and more about feeling valued”. Here, the woman’s refusal to budge on Rosalie signals her need to reclaim agency after feeling sidelined. Lucy’s reaction, though, suggests she’s guarding her own stake in their shared history.

For solutions, communication is key. The sisters could explore compromise—like unique middle names—to honor nana Rose without identical names causing confusion, especially since the girls may share a school and surname. Dr. Newman suggests open dialogue: “Acknowledge each other’s feelings and focus on the shared goal of honoring your grandmother.” Readers, what’s your take on navigating these tricky family waters?

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

Reddit’s got some spicy takes on this naming showdown—grab a seat and enjoy the candor! Here are the top reactions:  These opinions light up the debate, but do they mirror real-world solutions, or are they just fueling the family fire?

4thxtofollowtherules − NTA but honestly your first mistake was giving in and negotiating with your emotional terrorist sister.

LynnieFran − NTA but I wish people would stop telling others what names they choose.

minislice − ESH. Sister is petty and sucks for stealing Rosalie. But you are making it just as big of a deal. What actual “great lengths” did you go to to keep the name Rose available? Looking into another name?

That’s a bit of an exaggeration. It shouldn’t be a contest over honoring grandma. The fighting and petty childish name competition is reflective of selfish motivations rather than the honoring of someone deceased. Do whats best for your child. Shouldn’t that matter more?

captainsadlyplank − NTA but your sister is. I've worked with cousins in the same company who had the same first, middle and surnames, and they weren't the only ones in the family with that name. It was funny but no big deal. Like someone says, give her an awesome middle name and she can choose what she goes by as she gets older.

kassandraknoxxx − ESH because this could cause issues for your daughter. Think of her in this. For example, what if cousin Rosalie posts something inappropriate on social media while your Rosalie is looking for a job? Of course, this happens to unrelated people but these 2 may look alike and will be from the same area. And your Rosalie (along with her cousin) will have to deal with the irritating consequences of having the exact same name at the same school.

I don’t think you’re thinking about your daughter here, only how mad you are at your a**hole sister. I’ve watched my father and a friend of mine deal with having the exact same name as their cousin and it ranges from an annoyance to an actual problem (the job example happened to my friend). Don’t make your daughter the “other” Rosalie to your sister’s “original” Rosalie. It’s not fair to her.

dominiqlane − NTA. In the future, don’t tell anyone your child’s name until after they’re born.

MelonKanon − You know what? NTA. I usually think name arguments are stupid. You keep that name and give the kid a kick ass middle name. She knew what she was doing, out of spite.. You literally went out of your way so she get the hell over it.

Alseids − ESH if you keep the name. Hear me out. Don't change the name for your sister. Do it for your daughter. You don't want her name to be evidence of your sister's petty schemes. You may think it's no big deal to have the same name as someone else but it's definitely going to cause issues. Don't do it it's not worth it. Give your daughter her own name and don't feel like your backing down from your sister but rather stepping up for your daughter. Do the right thing.

thesquatz − NTA yet for being frustrated with your sister. She’s put you in a weird situation for no reason other than to be difficult (and other people in your family let her so that’s also very frustrating and bizarre). That said, I do think you WBTA if you name your daughter the same name just because you love it or it might spite your sister.

If, as you say, there’s a likely chance that they will be doing things together, it will probably be irritating for them to have to deal with all the time. Kids are brutal and also sensitive- why set your kids up to dislike or resent each other just because you like a name?

Also, there’s a good chance that if you both choose the name, it *will* come up with your kids and you’re going to have to be very careful to not let your kids in on any of the fighting that will almost definitely continue to happen throughout their lives. Their names will literally be synonymous with conflict and that isn’t good for anyone, let alone kids.

In fairness, I am likely biased because I was named after someone in the family and I ended up changing my name and it became a *huge* deal to everyone else who apparently had a stronger connection to the name than I did. I wish my parents specifically hadn’t gotten so attached to a name that they made me suffer through having it even though it made me uncomfortable.

Don’t do that to your kids. Kids are people who are going to grow up and live with certain decisions that they didn’t necessarily make. Decisions made for kids should be done in service to the kid- not the parent. You may love the name- you’ve built a relationship and it means something to you.

Your kid isn’t going to have that relationship with it- they may appreciate the memory of nana Rose- but they aren’t going to have known her like you have so the bulk of their relationship to their name will come from their experience of it, which sounds like it will be an issue.

babycallmemabel − ESH, I know I'm in the minority here but I do feel that after your firstborn a conversation should've been had with your sister as to what would happen if either of you were to have another daughter, given you'd already taken one grandmothers name. If not then, at least when she became pregnant.

From my understanding here, there were only two grandmothers to both of you and you've intended to claim both their names without considering if your sister wanted to honour them also. I agree that going ahead with the plan to name your daughter

However, your sister was also wrong to take the alternate name you had come up with and it seems very petty of her and even your mother who seemingly knew but decided to not let you in on her knowledge until after the birth.

This rosy rivalry leaves us pondering the delicate balance of family bonds and personal choice. The woman’s stand for Rosalie is a bold claim to her truth, yet it risks planting seeds of confusion for two young cousins. Will practicality win, or will passion for a name hold firm? It’s a reminder that names carry stories—sometimes blooming, sometimes thorny. What would you do if caught in this naming tug-of-war? Drop your thoughts below and let’s keep the conversation growing!

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