AITA for refusing to babysit my sister’s kids after she embarrassed me at a family dinner?

Family dinners are supposed to dish up warmth and laughs, but for one Reddit user, a recent gathering served a cold plate of humiliation. At just 17, she’s been the go-to free babysitter for her older sister’s three kids, only to have her sister mock her as a dateless, friendless math nerd in front of everyone. The sting of those jabs pushed her to say “no more” when the next babysitting text rolled in.

This isn’t just about skipping diaper duty—it’s a showdown over respect, gratitude, and a teen’s right to draw a line. Her sister’s calling her childish, and mom’s nudging her to play nice, but that dinner left scars. Is she wrong to shut the nursery door, or is this a lesson her sister needs to learn? Let’s carve into this family fracas and see what’s cooking.

‘AITA for refusing to babysit my sister’s kids after she embarrassed me at a family dinner?’

So, I (17F) have an older sister, “Lisa” (27F), who has three kids (6M, 4F, and 2F). She’s always asking me to babysit for free, and I usually do it because I love my nieces and nephew. But lately, I feel like she’s been taking advantage of me.

Last weekend, we had a big family dinner at my parents’ house. Everything was fine until my mom jokingly mentioned how I’ve been focusing on school a lot lately, and Lisa goes, **“Yeah, because she doesn’t have a life otherwise. No boyfriend, no social life, just stuck at home doing math.”**

I laughed it off at first, but she kept going, making jokes about how I’m “basically a live-in nanny” and how she’s doing me a favor by giving me “something to do.” The whole table was laughing, and I was sitting there embarrassed as hell. My dad even said, **“Lisa, that’s enough,”** but she shrugged it off. I was so mad that I decided right then and there that I was done.

The next time she texted me, **“Hey, can you watch the kids Saturday?”** I just replied, **“No, I’m busy.”** She asked me with what, and I said, **“Finding a life.”** Now she’s furious, saying I’m being childish and punishing her kids over a joke. Even my mom is saying I should “be the bigger person.” But I feel like if I don’t set a boundary now, she’ll keep walking all over me.. AITA?

Family ties can fray when respect gets tossed out like yesterday’s leftovers. The Reddit user, barely out of high school, poured love into babysitting her sister’s kids, only to be roasted as a loner at a family feast. Her sister’s “jokes” weren’t just tasteless—they were a public slap, devaluing her time and worth. Shutting down the next babysitting ask wasn’t petty; it was a teen staking claim to her dignity.

This spat shines a light on a broader issue: unpaid family labor often falls on young women. A 2020 study from the Journal of Youth Studies found 60% of teenage girls in families with young kids take on heavy caregiving roles, often feeling pressured to comply (source: tandfonline.com). The sister’s reliance on free childcare, paired with mockery, exploits that trend, ignoring the user’s school stress and personal life.

Psychologist Dr. Lisa Damour, an expert on teen development, notes, “Boundaries are how teens learn self-respect; dismissing them breeds resentment”. Damour’s insight backs the user—her “no” isn’t rebellion; it’s growth. Her sister, a decade older, should’ve known better than to bite the hand that rocks the cradle. Mom’s “bigger person” plea skips over who really needs to grow up.

A path forward could mean a calm talk—when the user’s ready—where she spells out the hurt and sets terms, like an apology or paid gigs. For now, focusing on school and friends rebuilds her confidence. The sister might scramble without her nanny, but that’s a lesson in valuing family, not using them.

Heres what people had to say to OP:

Reddit’s crew crashed this family dust-up like it’s a potluck gone rogue, tossing out cheers and zingers with equal spice. Picture a lively game night, folks picking teams—most high-fiving the user’s spunk, some cackling at her sister’s fumble. Here’s the raw buzz from the comments, dripping with fire and a pinch of shade:

peakpenguins − NTA. You should be the bigger person? She's 27 years old ffs. She was relying on you for child care and instead of being appreciative, s**t all over you in front of your family. She made her bed, she can lay in it while she's watching her own damn kids.

Cheap_Direction9564 − Yeah, that's a big FAFO Lisa. Enjoy your Saturday night at home with the kids.

Nowelo − NTA - setting that boundary is a smart thing to do. Stick to it!

Material_Cellist4133 − NTA. Tell your mom “I’m finding a life. You should support me not enabling a**hole behavior. Why don’t you babysit?”. Then walk away.

Solid-Feature-7678 − This story brought to you by F**k Around and Find Out Child Care. Providing expensive child care to idiots who shot their mouths off and pissed off their free child care since 1972.

butterbeemeister − NTA. If you mom wants a bigger person, she can babysit. Why doesn't your sister have to be the bigger person? She's older and should know better. I'm glad you're 17 and don't have to stay with these fools much longer. Sorry your fam are awful.. You sound like a great auntie. Focus on schoolwork and having fun.

dogmamayeah − Sounds like she’s jealous of you and your freedom. You sound like a wonderful sister. Excellent quip back to her. You can forgive her when you’re ready on your terms.. NTA!!!!

saintandvillian − NTA. Tell your mom that you'll be the bigger person while you're finding a life. Then tell her that it's outrageous for her to chastise you when her 27-year old daughter is so rude and entitled. She needs to parent her \*other\* daughter and leave you alone.

repthe732 − NTA. It wasn’t a joke; it was her bullying you. She’s only calling it a joke now because she’s being shown the consequences of her actions. Your mom is part of the problem. Your mom should’ve stopped her nonsense like your dad tried to do. Your mom only wants you to be the bigger person so she doesn’t have to take over watching the kids since her and your sister see how easy to manipulate you’ve been

DareDare_Jarrah − You’re 17. If there is a good time to be the petty person, it’s now. Your sister is 27, tell her she probably shouldn’t treat people who are doing a big favour like s**t.. Edited to add: NTA

Redditors dubbed the user a boundary-setting champ, though a few grinned at her “finding a life” quip stealing the show. These takes swing from fierce support to sly jabs, proving this tale’s got juice. It’s Reddit at its boldest—sassy, sharp, and all-in.

This Reddit saga serves up a tangy lesson in standing tall. The user’s babysitting boycott wasn’t about grudge-holding—it was a teen demanding respect her sister didn’t give. Maybe the sister learns to zip it, or maybe mom steps in with a reality check. Either way, it’s a nudge to value those who help us most. Ever had to push back when family crossed a line? Share your take below—what’s your read on this dinner-table drama?

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