AITAH for refusing to give up my wedding venue even though my sister needs it more than I do?
Weddings are once-in-a-lifetime events, and for many couples, every detail of the celebration is planned with immense care. In this case, a 26-year-old bride-to-be recounts how she fought hard to reserve a breathtaking vineyard venue nearly a year and a half in advance for fall 2025. But life, as it often does, threw her family a curveball when her younger sister suddenly announced her pregnancy and rushed engagement.
Now, her sister is pleading with the family to let her have the venue for her impromptu wedding—a request that not only disrupts long-term plans but also places the narrator in a difficult position. With her fiancé’s family flying in from Europe and every aspect of her wedding meticulously arranged, she is forced to defend her right to keep her venue, even as familial pressure mounts. Is she being selfish for prioritizing her dreams over her sister’s crisis?
‘AITAH for refusing to give up my wedding venue even though my sister needs it more than I do?’
Family and relationship experts stress that clear boundaries are essential for maintaining healthy relationships, especially when long-term plans are at stake. Dr. Harriet Lerner, a leading authority on family dynamics, remarks, “Setting boundaries is about protecting your own emotional well-being and honoring commitments that you’ve worked hard to secure. It’s not about being insensitive to others’ hardships.”
In this scenario, the narrator has invested considerable time, money, and emotional energy into her wedding planning. Her decision to hold firm on her venue reservation is not a matter of callousness, but rather an assertion of her right to honor prior commitments.
Dr. Susan Johnson, a relationship counselor, adds, “When family members expect you to cancel plans or rearrange your life to meet an unexpected crisis—without having discussed it beforehand—it creates an imbalance that can foster long-term resentment.” From this viewpoint, her sister’s predicament, while unfortunate, does not justify retroactively pressuring her to alter plans that were made in good faith.
Experts also suggest that alternative arrangements, like a courthouse wedding or a smaller celebration later on, might serve as a fair compromise without dismantling a carefully planned event. This approach not only preserves the integrity of the narrator’s wedding but also potentially alleviates the pressure on her sister to rush into a high-stress, ill-planned ceremony.
These are the responses from Reddit users:
The Reddit community’s reaction to this dilemma has been strikingly divided yet largely supportive of the narrator’s stance. Many commenters assert that she has every right to keep her venue, citing that she made those commitments long before her sister’s unexpected news.
One user commented that the sister’s request is simply an act of entitlement—expecting preferential treatment just because of an unforeseen pregnancy. Others pointed out that if her sister is truly in a bind, alternatives like a courthouse wedding, a modest reception, or even a later celebration would be far more practical than dismantling an entire wedding plan.
In conclusion, holding firm to a carefully planned wedding venue is not only reasonable but necessary when significant life plans are at stake. While the narrator undoubtedly sympathizes with her sister’s unexpected situation, the reality remains that her dream wedding—complete with international guests and all the intricate details arranged over many months—should not be sacrificed to an impulsive, last-minute request.
Family obligations are important, yet so is honoring one’s commitments and boundaries. What do you think? When, if ever, is it acceptable to rearrange your life for a family member’s crisis? Have you ever faced a similar dilemma? Share your thoughts and join the discussion below.
