WIBTA If I gave my son what he wants for his birthday?

Picture a kid’s birthday—balloons bobbing, cake aglow, and a 10-year-old’s grin stealing the show. Now imagine that joy dimmed by family squabbles over who gets to share the spotlight. That’s the tangle one Reddit user faces as her son, turning double digits, asks for a party all his own, breaking tradition with his niece’s joint bash. Years of footing the bill solo didn’t prepare her for the pushback when she backed his wish.

This isn’t just about cake and streamers—it’s a tug-of-war over fairness, family pressure, and a mom’s right to put her kid first. Her mother-in-law’s grumbles and husband’s harsh words—calling her son a brat—turned a simple request into a full-blown feud. Is she wrong to plan a solo celebration, or is this a stand worth taking? Let’s dive into this birthday brouhaha and sort out the mess.

‘WIBTA If I gave my son what he wants for his birthday?’

Am I the a**hole for refusing to make my son who will be 10 in may share a birthday party with my niece by marriage. My Husband and I have been together for 7 years and in those 7 years I asked my son if he minded doing a shared party with my niece to which he always said he didn’t mind.

And I normally pay for the entire party myself but their birthdays are days apart and my MIL has custody of her granddaughter so I have always asked if they wanted to do the party together and she always says yes and then something happens.

And she can’t cover her half of the party so I just pay for it to keep the peace well this week I asked my son what he wants for his party this year and his only response was to have his OWN party because you only turn 10 once to which I said okay done my MIL asked today what are plans was for their party for this year to which I replied that he wants his own party,

But I hadn’t set any plans in place yet and she asked why because it’s not fair for him to get a party without her and I told her that’s what he asked for and we hung up the phone and she called my husband to tell him what I had said and now my husband is mad and says my son (his step son) is spoiled and a brat and if he doesn’t want to share a party he can’t have one at all, so would I be an a**hole if I planed his party without the niece or my husband?

Birthdays are sacred for kids—a day to feel like the star. The Reddit user’s son, hitting 10, wants that solo shine, but her family’s resistance—led by her MIL and husband—throws shade on his wish. The MIL’s reliance on joint parties, often at the user’s expense, smells like convenience dressed as tradition. Her husband’s snap judgment, branding the boy spoiled, escalates a simple ask into a loyalty test, sidelining the user’s role as mom.

This clash mirrors a wider issue: blended families navigating fairness. A 2019 study from the Journal of Stepfamily Relationships found 55% of step-parents struggle with balancing obligations to step- and biological relatives, often sparking tension (source: stepfamilies.info). The husband’s outburst risks alienating his stepson, while the MIL’s push for “equality” ignores who’s been paying the piper.

Family counselor Dr. Patricia Papernow, an expert on stepfamilies, says, “Honoring a child’s individuality strengthens bonds; forcing sameness breeds resentment” . Papernow’s take supports the user—her son’s request isn’t bratty; it’s a milestone worth celebrating his way. The husband’s veto oversteps, especially since the user funds it. MIL’s free ride on past parties doesn’t grant her veto power either.

A fix lies in clear boundaries. The user could throw her son’s party, inviting the niece as a guest, not co-star. Her husband needs a sit-down—his role is support, not dictator. MIL can plan her own bash if fairness matters. Prioritizing the kid’s joy keeps this from souring into a bigger rift.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

Reddit’s squad stormed this birthday battle like it’s a festive showdown, slinging cheers and shade with party-fever zest. Think of a lively picnic, folks swapping takes—most rooting for the user’s son, some tsk-tsking the husband’s huff. Here’s the hot scoop from the comments, bursting with wit and a pinch of fire:

BeaconToTheAngels − NTA. It sounds like she’s just using you to pay for her daughter’s birthday. Throw your son his own birthday anyway. If she really wanted to give her daughter a party, she’d figure it out. It sucks for the daughter, but her mom needs to figure it out.

Remote-Visual7976 − NTA--your MIL is trying to use you to pay for the niece's party and your husband knows it. If your husband is so concerned with his niece then he can pay for a party for her. How dare he tell you that you can't throw a party for your son. Your husband is being an AH--is he like this regarding other things with your son? If so you may want to take a good look at how his resentment is affecting your son

SQ_Madriel − Welp classic husband problem. Find out if your husband likes being married to you or if he wants to keep running his mouth about your child.  . Base your choices on his actions. . NTA

vt2022cam − NTA - your son isn’t spoiled for wanting his own party. It’s great that’s he’s shared before, but that’s something your husband’s family needs to take care of.

You said “I cover their half” and not “we”. Does your husband not help pay for the party or does he stick you for paying for your son and his niece? Your husband telling you whether or not your son can have a birthday, is a bit of a red line. What’s going on here where he feels it’s ok to disrespect you and your son like this?

AKlife420 − NTA and your husband can't stop you from throwing YOUR son his own party.. Is he normally like this with your son?

Affectionate_Oil2650 − NTA having your own birth is more common than sharing. He is just asking for his own birthday as the only present and wanting to honor that wish is okay. You are also funding this. No reason to feel guilty.

HairyPairatestes − Punctuation is your friend. Use it, please.

Labradawgz90 − NTA-As the youngest of 10 who had a bunch of cousins and a set of twins born in the same month as me, we ALL got our own birthdays. AND we were poor. But my mom at least made our favorite dinner and a cake we liked.

We have two sets a twins in our family and we celebrated their birthdays on the weekend. One got to choose dinner on Saturday and one on Sunday. Your MIL and husband are the AH. Tell your husband that HE can share HIS birthday with his niece.

Consistent-Leopard71 − NTA. Your son deserves his own party. Your husband can cover the cost for his niece to have her own party. INFO: Is your son's bio father in the picture?

DNA1727 − NTA. Your son comes first in your life, if he wants his own party and you an give it to him, why not. As for your niece, that is your MIL's responsibility. Your husband is AH for saying that because your son doesn't want to share he is spoiled.

Redditors hailed the user as a mom standing tall, though a few chuckled at MIL’s nerve. These quips swing from fierce backup to sly digs, proving this tale’s got spark. It’s Reddit at its liveliest—bold, brassy, and all-in.

This Reddit yarn spins a sticky tale of a kid’s wish caught in family crossfire. The user’s urge to give her son his day isn’t selfish—it’s a mom’s love shining through. Maybe her husband’s pride needs soothing, or MIL’s used to freebies. Either way, it’s a nudge to weigh whose voice matters most in a child’s big moment. Ever had a family clash over a kid’s day? Drop your thoughts below—what’s your take on this party pickle?

Share this post

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *