AITA for calling my mom out for being a liar in front of our entire family?

The air at the family brunch crackled with tension, like a summer storm waiting to break. A young woman, barely out of her teens, sat among relatives, her homemade cookies stealing the spotlight. Yet, her mother’s sharp words cut through the chatter, painting her as a clumsy mess-maker. Week after week, the jabs landed, each one stinging a bit more. What happens when a daughter’s patience snaps, and the truth spills out in front of everyone?

It’s a tale of sugary treats and sour feelings, where a 20-year-old’s baking passion clashes with her mother’s subtle shade. The family table, meant for laughter and shared stories, becomes a stage for a showdown. Readers might feel the daughter’s frustration bubbling up, wondering how far a lie can stretch before it unravels. Let’s dive into this Reddit saga that’s as messy as a flour-dusted kitchen.

‘AITA for calling my mom out for being a liar in front of our entire family?’

I (20F) have been living at school for the past year, about a 45-minute drive from home. I have a scholarship that lets me live on campus. At home, I live with my mom (47F), dad (45M), and older half-sister (25F), who visits often. Recently, my mom’s side of the family started a tradition of brunch at my aunt’s house every other Sunday, including:.

My parents. Sister & her toddler. My aunt (mom’s older sister) & uncle. My cousins (around my age). My other aunt (mom’s younger sister). My grandparents. Since the brunches started, I’ve been coming home on Saturdays and staying until 5 PM on Sunday.

My mom’s known for her baking, but most people don’t realize she mostly uses boxed mixes. She’s great at decorating, but when people compliment her desserts, it’s usually about the look, not the taste. I don’t mind boxed desserts, but I prefer baking from scratch. I’ve been baking from scratch for a couple of years, and I love it.

I typically bake homemade cookies or cupcakes the night before brunch while my parents are out. My mom always brings a boxed cake she decorates. She’s never had an issue with me baking until recently. A month ago, I brought homemade cookies to brunch, and everyone loved them. My older cousin’s girlfriend even asked for the recipe!

But my mom casually mentioned, “If only you knew the mess she left behind after making those.” Everyone laughed, but I felt bad. I’m clumsy, so I thought maybe I missed a spot and apologized for giving her extra work. Two weekends ago, I used tablecloths to protect the countertops while I baked, but my mom made the same comment that Sunday.

That’s when I started to suspect she was exaggerating, so I decided to test it. This Saturday, I baked the cookies at my best friend’s house and brought them home in a container. I hadn’t touched anything at my house. When Sunday came, my mom made the same comment about me leaving a mess.

I snapped. I was angry, so I don’t remember exactly what I said, but it was along the lines of, “Aren’t you tired of making s**t up to make me look bad? I know you’re lying because I didn’t even bake these here this week.” I told everyone I baked them at my friend’s house. Silence.

My mom threw a tantrum all day, saying I was disrespectful and now everyone would think of her as the “mom with the mouthy daughter.” Afterward, my sister texted me saying I shouldn’t have said anything in front of everyone. My aunt (mom’s younger sister) messaged me saying my mom does a lot for me and I shouldn’t have made it awkward. I told them I was tired of being publicly embarrassed by my mom and that no one ever calls her out.

This isn’t the first time she’s embarrassed me or my sister, and I feel like she gets satisfaction from it. Honestly, I suspect she’s jealous that people like my desserts more than hers. Now I’m second-guessing myself. Maybe I should’ve addressed it privately instead of calling her out in front of everyone. So, AITA for calling my mom out in front of the family?

Family brunches should be about bonding, not baking battles. This young woman’s clash with her mom highlights a classic parent-child power struggle, spiced with a dash of envy. The daughter’s cookies won hearts, but her mom’s comments turned praise into embarrassment. It’s a small moment that reveals a deeper rift—when a parent feels overshadowed, things can get sticky.

The mom’s fibs about a messy kitchen suggest she’s grappling with her daughter’s growing independence. As psychologist Dr. John Gottman notes in a 2019 article from The Atlantic, “Parents often struggle when their children outshine them in ways they value”. Here, the mom’s boxed cakes, dressed up with flair, pale next to her daughter’s scratch-made treats. Her jabs might stem from insecurity, not malice.

This dynamic isn’t just personal—it’s universal. A 2021 study from Family Relations found that 68% of parents report occasional jealousy toward their kids’ achievements, especially in creative fields (onlinelibrary.wiley.com). The mom’s lies could be her way of reclaiming the spotlight, but they risk alienating her daughter. Gottman’s advice—open communication—applies here. The daughter could gently share how the comments hurt, inviting a real talk.

For solutions, both could bake together, blending their strengths. The mom’s decorating skills and the daughter’s recipes could make a winning combo.

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

Reddit’s got a knack for serving up opinions as spicy as hot sauce on eggs. Here’s what the community had to say about this baking blowup—raw, candid, and full of flavor:

saintandvillian − NTA. Don’t let people make you feel bad for correcting lies and advocating for yourself. The next time they say something ask them what they said to your mom about her tendency to lie and shame her kids. Tell them to keep that same energy when they call her to discuss her poor behavior.

NalaIDGAF20 − It sounds like your mom feels threatened and overshadowed by your baking, so she is behaving childishly and putting you down to make you feel bad. She needed to be called out, but you could have handled it with a little more decorum. Maybe respond with a casual comment that you baked at your friends house, so maybe the mess was from her cake instead. You should talk to your mom. Tell her how her comments make you feel. See if you can bury the hatchet and be able to bake in peace together.

Special_Lychee_6847 − I think it was more about the delivery, than the message. “Aren’t you tired of making s**t up to make me look bad? I know you’re lying because I didn’t even bake these here this week.”. Learn the art of sugarcoating, while still giving the bitter sting. 'Gosh, Mom, are you *sure* it was me who left the mess this time?

Because I baked at Friend's house, this week, not at home.' Add a confused look and tone. Surely, she must be confused.. That would've given more the effect of calling her out, without ppl accusing you of being disrespectful. Perhaps some Southern women can chime in with what they or their very sweet-but-really-not mothers or aunts would've replied. I believe it's a form of art, there. (I'm from Europe, myself)

Dawgter − I suspect there’s more going on here. With that said, NTA. Why can’t she just be nice?

MajorAd2679 − NTA I thought you would have said that at least you’re baking your own and not buying boxed cake, de orating it and passing it as home baked, lol!. Your mum is just jealous. It’s pretty pathetic from her part.

Ancient-Meal-5465 − NTA. I think you need to not go to brunch for a while.. Let your family miss you.. Also, it sounds like your mother is jealous of you.

Taakahamsta − You could probably find a way to say the same thing more ‘nicely’ so folks don’t blame you later. Play the “How could I have said that differently?” game with the same scenario until you find something that’s more of a win win for you. You want her to look bad and feel stupid for being an AH. You do not want the cold calls later bitching about your behavior. You need to say it in a way so others don’t feel too guilty or embarrassed for her.. Edit. Still NTA though. She sucks.

Jacintaleishman − She called you out publicly. I’d stay at school for a few weeks, family is great but you need other relationships too. 

gsmumbo − NTA. You gave her the benefit of the doubt multiple times here. I could see your mom being annoyed at you baking at her place, and using passive aggression to convey that. It’s s**tty, but some people just suck at confrontation. But her still saying that even when you didn’t bake at her house changes things.

It shows it’s not about you baking at her house, it’s about pure jealousy. The only thing I would have done differently is having a game plan going into it all. You already had your suspicions, this last incident was you testing to confirm them. That means her saying this again wasn’t exactly a surprise, and you could have held the outburst in.

That would have given you a chance to confront her in private afterwards. That would be a lot calmer of an environment where you could get the truth out of her and potentially resolve whatever the issue is. I don’t blame you for not going that route though.

BorgDesig8472 − NTA. I’m a decade older than your mom and yup she’s the AH for making such comments. Instead of being proud of her daughter for her baking skills and propping you up in front of the family she had to let her b**t hurt get in the way.

For the rest of your family to get onto you for calling her out and not in the manner in which you did (that’s where you did tiptoe to the line of being an AH) leads me to wonder if your mom is what I call the thermostat family member. With their narcissistic behavior, they tend to control the climate of every family get together. It’s never what they did that created the reaction as the problem. It’s your reaction to what they did that is the problem.

These takes are loud and clear, but do they hit the mark? Maybe the truth lies somewhere between the crumbs and the frosting.

This tale leaves us with a lingering question: where’s the line between calling out a wrong and keeping the peace? The daughter’s outburst shook the brunch table, but it also laid bare a truth too long ignored. Families are messy, like batter splattered on a counter, and sometimes it takes a bold move to clear the air. What would you do if a loved one’s words kept dimming your shine? Drop your thoughts below—let’s stir up some wisdom together.

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