AITA for telling my family that I’m not taking my grandma to church anymore?

Family responsibilities can often feel overwhelming, especially when they consistently encroach on your personal time. In this post, the narrator—already juggling the care of her mom, disabled brother, and other family commitments—has finally reached her breaking point. For too long, she’s been the unpaid chauffeur for her grandma’s church trips, even though these outings have become less about worship and more about unwanted matchmaking. Despite repeatedly asking her grandmother to stop setting her up with unsuitable prospects, nothing seems to change.

Now, with her own needs taking precedence, she’s firmly declared that she won’t drive Grandma to church on Sundays anymore. Although this decision leaves her mom and grandma scrambling for an alternative transport solution, she insists it’s time for her to reclaim her Sunday and her peace of mind.

‘AITA for telling my family that I’m not taking my grandma to church anymore?’

Establishing personal boundaries within families is crucial for maintaining long-term mental and emotional health. Family therapist Dr. Harriet Lerner often emphasizes that “setting boundaries is not about punishing others; it’s about preserving your own space and ensuring respectful relationships.” In this case, the narrator’s frustration stems not from an unwillingness to help, but from feeling exploited. Every Sunday, what should be a routine task becomes an imposition—especially when it forces her into a role as an unwanted matchmaker.

Additionally, relationship experts point out that repeated exposure to unwanted behavior can lead to deep-seated resentment. Dr. Susan Johnson, a counselor specializing in family dynamics, notes, “When clear, respectful boundaries are consistently ignored, it undermines trust and can cause significant emotional stress within a family unit.” For the narrator, this recurring dynamic has reached a tipping point. Her decision to no longer serve as a ride to church is an act of self-care—a way to reclaim her personal time and assert that her commitments should be mutually respectful, not one-sided.

Such situations call for a candid conversation among family members about roles and responsibilities. It might be beneficial for her family to explore alternative arrangements, such as seeking a ride from church members or coordinating with a local transit service, so that the burden does not fall on one person alone. By setting this boundary, the narrator is not only protecting her own emotional energy, but also inviting the family to rethink and redistribute the responsibilities more equitably.

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

Here are some candid insights from the Reddit community that capture diverse perspectives on this issue: Many commenters agree that the narrator is NTA (not the asshole) for asserting her boundaries—citing that her role as an unpaid chauffeur was never a fixed obligation.

Suggestions abound, with several users advising her to contact the church for transportation help or to arrange an alternative schedule where she might eventually resume the favor under different terms. The prevailing sentiment is that while family support is important, it should not come at the expense of personal well-being.

In conclusion, the decision to stop driving Grandma to church reflects a necessary boundary setting in a relationship that has long been unbalanced. Although this decision disrupts family routine and leaves her mother and grandmother in a difficult position, it underscores the importance of mutual respect and autonomy.

The narrator’s frustration is not about refusing to help her family—it’s about rejecting the notion that she must sacrifice her own time and peace of mind for a task that has been exploited for matchmaking. What do you think? When is it acceptable to set firm boundaries with family, and how can we navigate the fallout of such decisions? Share your experiences and join the conversation below.