AITA for not letting my brother bring his dog to stay with me while he goes on vacation?

A new apartment, a fluffy rescue cat, and a family request that barks up the wrong tree—what could go wrong? Imagine settling into your cozy haven, the faint jingle of a cat’s collar blending with the hum of freedom, when your brother drops a bombshell: can his rambunctious 90-pound dog crash for 10 days? For one woman, this wasn’t just a favor—it was a clash of claws and jaws, with her lease and her cat’s peace hanging in the balance.

Her firm “no” unleashed a family tug-of-war, with accusations of choosing fur over blood. The dog, a lovable but chaotic pit-lab mix, didn’t fit her apartment’s strict rules or her cat’s comfort zone. As voices rose and guilt trips piled up, readers are left wondering: where’s the line between family duty and personal boundaries? Let’s sniff out the truth.

‘AITA for not letting my brother bring his dog to stay with me while he goes on vacation?’

I (28F) just moved into a new apartment that finally allows pets, but they have some pretty strict rules. Only one animal per unit, has to be under 50 pounds, and no aggressive breeds. I’ve been wanting a cat for a while, and a couple weeks ago I adopted the sweetest little rescue.

My older brother (31M) is going on a 10-day trip with his girlfriend and asked if I could watch his dog, Tank. The issue is, Tank is a 90-pound pit-lab mix who’s super high energy and honestly kind of a handful. He’s knocked over my niece, chewed up furniture, and he really doesn’t like cats.

I told him I couldn’t do it. First, my lease won’t allow a dog that size, and second, I just brought a new cat home and I’m not about to stress her out or risk anything happening. He said I was being uptight and that “no one checks that stuff anyway.” He even offered to drop off his crate and food like that made it all fine.

When I stuck to my no, he got annoyed and said I was choosing a cat over family. Now our parents are on his side too, saying it’s just for a few days and I should help him out.. I get that it’s inconvenient, but I really don’t feel comfortable risking my lease or my cat’s safety.. AITA for saying no?

Saying no to family can feel like stepping on a squeaky toy—awkward but sometimes necessary. This woman’s refusal to host her brother’s high-energy dog wasn’t just about a lease; it stirred up a classic brew of boundaries and expectations. Her brother’s push to ignore apartment rules and her cat’s safety left her cornered, while family pressure added a leash of guilt.

The woman’s stance is rooted in practicality: her lease caps pets at one, under 50 pounds, and her cat’s a newbie still adjusting. The brother’s dog, a 90-pound whirlwind, doesn’t just break rules—it risks her cat’s well-being, given its cat-unfriendly streak. His dismissal ignores her reality, framing her as the bad guy. Meanwhile, parents siding with him might reflect their own dread of dog-sitting duties, sidestepping the core issue: his responsibility, not hers.

This spat mirrors wider pet ownership tensions. A 2023 ASPCA report notes 23% of pet owners struggle to find pet-sitters, often leaning on reluctant family (source). Dr. Patricia McConnell, a renowned animal behaviorist, emphasizes, “Respecting boundaries is key in any relationship, including with pets”. Here, the brother’s entitlement—expecting her to risk her home—clashes with her need to protect her space and cat. McConnell’s insight suggests he should’ve planned ahead, not guilt-tripped.

Broadly, it’s about accountability. Pet ownership isn’t just cuddles; it’s planning for care. The brother could board Tank or hire a sitter, options that respect everyone’s limits. The woman’s “no” isn’t anti-family—it’s pro-responsibility, guarding her home and pet. Family dynamics thrive on mutual respect, not one-sided favors.

For solutions, open dialogue helps. The brother could acknowledge her constraints and explore kennels or friends. She could offer to help find a sitter, softening the tension without bending rules.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

Reddit pounced on this pet predicament with claws out and tongues wagging. From snarky jabs to heartfelt cheers, the community dished out opinions spicier than a dog park showdown. Here are their opinions:

iamasturdlevinson − NTA. You’re choosing your cat over family? Well, he’s choosing his dog over family (you and your situation). I have a sneaking suspicion your parents are on his side only because they know they’ll be stuck with Tank if you don’t keep him.. Stay strong and enjoy your new kitty friend!

StAlvis − NTA. When I stuck to my no, he got annoyed and said I was choosing a cat over family.. And he's choosing a trip over his responsibility to his pet. Dogs are f**king inconvenient. If you don't want that responsibility in your life, all anyone has to do is **not** get one.

hidethesunscreen − NTA our lease has some pretty strict pet rules as well, and they absolutely DO check that stuff. But even if they didn't, you're not obligated to look after his large, high-energy dog, especially with a new cat in the house. BUT.. it sounds like your parents feel pretty strongly about helping out, which is wonderful! Sounds like you just found a couple of volunteers to watch over your brother's dog! \*wink wink\*

DirectAntique − NTA. Even if you didn't have a cat and his dog was 5 pounds, you don't have to look after it.. Tell your parents to mind their own damm business.. Why aren't they dog sitting ?

SavingsRhubarb8746 − Do not under any conditions deliberately violating your lease by having a dog of a size and type that clearly violates the rules in the place, even temporarily. That would apply to a well-behaved dog, and this one not only isn't well-behaved, he's a danger to your cat. Your brother is asking you to risk the roof over your head plus your cat's life in order to be a convenient parking place for his dog. He has to find somewhere else.. NTA

bdayqueen − NTA sounds like your parents just volunteered to watch the dog.

GreenVermicelliNoods − NTA. I’m a dog owner and I board my dog because my sister doesn’t like pets in her home. He’s being entitled and trying to manipulate you because he’s a cheapskate. His problem, not yours. Congrats on the new cat!

Mundane-Scarcity-219 − NTA. And it’s NOT “a few days”…it’s TEN!! And, your lease not only says no dogs like Tank (90 lb, and pitiful mix), but also, only one pet per unit. You already have one…your cat. If your parents are saying it’s no big deal, then let *them* deal with Tank for 10 days.

inkyblackops − NTA. Your cat’s safety (and possibly life if the dog isn’t good with cats) is far more important.

aeryanie − NTA, you have every right to say no to a dog who is . 1- not allowed at the property (according to the owner’s rules,. and 2- not going to get along with your cat, and possibly putting him in danger. . I’d tell him to pay a dogsitter. 

These Reddit bites snap at entitlement and cheer for boundaries, but do they fetch the full story? Or are they just chasing their tails? Let’s see what holds water.

This tale of cats, dogs, and family tugs leaves us pondering: when does saying “no” become the kindest cut? The woman’s stand protected her cat and home, but it ruffled family fur, exposing how pet love can spark human spats. It’s a reminder that boundaries, like a well-placed fence, keep peace intact—even if they spark a growl or two. What would you do if a family favor clashed with your rules? Drop your thoughts below—have you ever had to play gatekeeper for your pet’s sake, or navigated a family feud over furry friends? Let’s keep the chatter purring!

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