AITA for being furious that my husband and his mother hid that she lost her pension to a scam and now expect me to financially support her?

Picture a cozy kitchen, bills neatly stacked, until a bombshell lands. A woman’s world tilted when her mother-in-law, fleeced by a scam, turned up broke—her pension vanished into a soothsayer’s pocket. Worse, her husband knew for months, keeping it hushed like a guilty secret. Now, the expectation? She’d foot the bill for groceries, rent, everything. Her shock curdled into fury—how could he blindside her with someone else’s mess?

The sting of betrayal hung heavy. She scrambled to shield their finances, torn between duty and resentment. Was she heartless for digging in her heels, or justified in guarding her peace? Readers feel the heat, caught in a tangle of trust and tough choices. When family hides hard truths, where do you draw the line? This saga of secrets and scams begs for answers.

‘AITA for being furious that my husband and his mother hid that she lost her pension to a scam and now expect me to financially support her?’

So, my MIL (mid 50's) has always been a bit… much. She’s a lifelong hypochondriac, constantly convinced she’s dying, despite doctors telling her she’s fine. Over the years, I’ve learned to smile and nod while she goes on about her “spells” and “energies.”

But recently, things went off the rails. She started seeing a soothsayer who convinced her that her workplace was full of

Turns out, a few months ago, she met another soothsayer who told her her “life force was being drained by bad energy” and that only a cleansing ritual—for a fee—could save her. Long story short: she gave away nearly her entire pension and savings to this scam artist. Did not tell anyone while going though her

She told him, swore him to secrecy, and he agreed because “she was embarrassed”. Months ago. And he said nothing. He claims he didn’t want to stress me out and that his mom was “just going through something.” Fast forward to now: she’s broke, has no savings, no income, and is suddenly turning to us—well, me—for help with groceries, medication, rent, everything. And when I found out?

Only because she confessed when she had no money left. I absolutely lost it. I told my husband it’s insane that he kept this from me and that I feel like I’ve been blindsided into being responsible for someone else’s mess. He says I’m being “heartless” and “it’s not her fault—she was manipulated.”

But I say she’s a grown adult who made a choice and hid it while expecting us to clean it up. So now I’m scrambling to keep our own household afloat and make sure she’s not starving, all because of a decision I had zero say in.. AITA?

Secrets in a marriage can sting like a slap, and this one’s a doozy. The OP’s husband, playing gatekeeper for his mom’s scam-induced ruin, dropped a financial bomb on their household. The mother-in-law’s choice—handing her pension to a con artist—reads like a tragic comedy, but the husband’s silence turns it sinister. Expecting the OP to bankroll rent and meds without a heads-up? That’s a trust violation with a capital T.

This mess taps a wider issue: financial transparency in relationships. A 2023 survey by the National Endowment for Financial Education found 38% of couples hide money matters, often sparking conflict (https://www.nefe.org/research). The OP’s fury isn’t just about cash—it’s about being sidelined. Her husband’s excuse, shielding mom’s embarrassment, prioritizes his mother over their partnership, leaving the OP to play cleanup.

Dr. John Gottman, a marriage expert, says, “Trust is built through small, honest moments—hiding big truths erodes it” (https://www.gottman.com/blog/trust). Gottman’s lens shows the husband’s secrecy as a betrayal, not protection. The OP’s right to feel ambushed; supporting an in-law shouldn’t mean sacrificing her voice. Gottman might push for a reset: full disclosure and joint decisions.

Advice? The OP should demand a financial sit-down with her husband, laying out budgets and boundaries—local mediators can help (https://www.mediate.com/family). The mother-in-law could tap community resources, like food banks or senior aid (https://www.usa.gov/state-social-services). Legally, the OP isn’t obligated, so separating finances might protect her.

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

Reddit didn’t mince words here, unloading a mix of outrage and tough love that hits like a plot twist. Here’s the unfiltered pulse from the crowd:

ed_lv − NTA. Honestly, to me this is divorce worthy.. Your husband committed

Unhappy_Energy_741 − NTA. I'd be outta there so fast. Let mom's baby boy take care of her.

Obi-Juan_Valdez − Your MIL is a master i**ot, and your husband is her apprentice. NTA

notAugustbutordinary − Why are you scrabbling and not your husband?

TSOTL1991 − NTA. This is divorce time.. No way I am supporting stupid people who do stupid things.

Glassgrl1021 − She needs to be looking for resources to fix her own mess. You are in no way responsible and I would serious consider divorce over this. Help her by sending links to food banks and public assistance.

Eastern_Condition863 − NTA. He's choosing his mother's comfort over keeping marital promises to you. He has broke the marriage vows. I would at least divorce for financial infidelity. Like you said: He knew. He enabled her to do this. He made a series of choices to lie and steal from you. If his mother didn't confess, would you still be in the dark?

Solid-Musician-8476 − I would get an attorney and divorce him. You need to protect yourself financially. Meanwhile separate your finances, open a new account. Don't warn him....make that attorney appointment STAT. you do have a say. You can say NO.

MixWitch − NTA -- Listen, you cannot trust this man with finances. If you are in the US, get a divorce, NOW while you can. You owe them nothing, you cannot destroy your future because someone older than you made really bad choices. Your husband is participating in trying to use you. When you have nothing left to give, do you really trust them to be there for you?

Similar-Traffic7317 − NTA. This would be my hill.. Your husband KNEW she was being scammed and did nothing?!? Said nothing?!? Didn't call the police or the bank?!?. That is some straight up b**lshit!

These takes are spicy, but do they cut to the core or just fan the flames? Let’s sift through what lands and what’s too hot to handle.

This tale of hidden scams and family pressure leaves us chewing on trust’s fragile threads. The OP’s caught in a storm—furious at her husband’s silence, yet roped into his mom’s fallout. It’s a raw reminder that secrets can cost more than money. Would you step up or stand firm in her shoes? Drop your thoughts below—have you faced a family curveball that tested your limits? Let’s unpack this knot of loyalty and lies together!

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