AITA For Protecting My Peace By Refusing My Alcoholic Mother’s Plea To Move In?

The soft glow of a table lamp warms a cozy living room, where a young woman sips tea, savoring her hard-won calm. After years of chaos, her small house is a sanctuary—until a tearful call from her alcoholic mother threatens to crack its walls. Homeless and desperate, her mom begs to move in, stirring memories of a childhood spent dodging verbal daggers and cleaning up drunken messes.

This Reddit post lays bare a daughter’s wrestle with guilt and self-preservation. As relatives hurl accusations of cruelty, readers are pulled into her dilemma: does family duty outweigh personal healing, or is protecting her peace the ultimate act of strength? The internet’s buzzing—let’s dive in.

‘AITA For Protecting My Peace By Refusing My Alcoholic Mother’s Plea To Move In?’

I (29F) bought a small house last year—nothing fancy, but it's quiet, safe, and mine. For the first time in my life, I feel like I can actually breathe. Now for context: my mom (52F) is an a**oholic and has been for as long as I can remember. My childhood was not a childhood. I was more like her emotional punching bag, personal therapist, maid, and sometimes target when she got too drunk and angry.

She used to scream at me for

PS was called once—by my 5th grade teacher—but my mom cleaned herself up just long enough to fool them. Then the punishments got worse when they left. I left home the minute I turned 18. No contact for years. She only reached out again recently, and I kept things surface-level because I’m still working through the trauma.

Therapy has helped a lot, and I’ve spent years trying to build a life that’s calm and not ruled by chaos. Last week she called sobbing, saying she got evicted and has nowhere to go. She begged me to let her stay “just for a little while.” I asked her what happened.

She wouldn’t give me a straight answer, but I could already hear the slurring in her voice.. I told her I was sorry, but I couldn’t help her. She snapped. Said I’m a cold-hearted b**ch, that “after everything I’ve done for you, this is how you repay me?” That I’m heartless for letting my own mother sleep in her car.

Now a few relatives are blowing up my phone, calling me cruel and selfish, saying she’s my mother and she has nowhere to go. But none of them are offering to take her in. Just me. I feel guilty. I don’t want her to suffer. But I also know what it’s like to live with her, and I’m scared that if I let her in, I’ll never get my peace back.. AITA?

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Saying no to a parent’s plea feels like dodging arrows in a storm—every step risks a hit. This woman’s mother, gripped by alcoholism, left deep wounds, yet her homelessness pulls at family strings. The daughter’s refusal isn’t heartless; it’s a lifeline to her stability.

Psychologist Dr. Gabor Maté notes, “Trauma is not what happens to you; it’s what happens inside you as a result” (source: Dr. Gabor Maté’s ). The daughter’s childhood—steeped in fear, playing caretaker at 9—forged a need for boundaries. Her mother’s slurring, evasive call shows addiction still rules, risking chaos if let in. Maté adds, “Compassion for others begins with compassion for ourselves.” Here, self-care isn’t selfish; it’s survival.

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This mirrors a wider struggle: addiction ripples, harming families. SAMHSA’s 2022 data reports 29.5 million Americans battle alcohol use disorder, with 40% of their kids facing emotional neglect (source: SAMHSA). The relatives’ guilt trips dodge their own inaction—why not open their doors? The daughter’s trauma, per Maté, demands a safe space to heal, not new burdens.

Enabling addiction can worsen harm, studies show—Al-Anon’s principles stress detachment with love (source: Al-Anon). She could share shelter contacts or recovery resources, keeping her home sacred. Therapy’s her anchor, and Maté’s lens suggests boundaries fuel growth.

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Check out how the community responded:

Reddit’s crew didn’t mince words, tossing out zingers and hard truths like confetti at a tough-love parade. From cheers for the daughter’s backbone to snarky jabs at her relatives’ hypocrisy, the comments crackle with heat. Some even sniffed “fake,” calling out patterns that scream bot-bait. Here’s the unfiltered scoop:

fiestafan73 − Where were those relatives when she was drunkenly abusing you? If they had nothing to say about her behavior then, then they can f**k all the way off with their concern for her now. NTA

AnnelieseDawn_ − NTA. You’ve been through hell, and it’s incredibly brave that you’ve built a stable, peaceful life after so much trauma. Choosing to protect your mental health and your space is not cruel — it’s necessary. Your mother’s choices and addiction are not your responsibility, especially after the damage she caused during your most vulnerable years.

She had decades to turn things around or make amends. Wanting to keep distance from someone who’s still drinking and refuses accountability is not heartless — it’s healthy. And let’s be real: if your relatives think she deserves a roof, they can open their doors. Funny how people love to judge but never volunteer.. You’re not heartless. You’re healing. And that comes first.

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Lazuli_Rose − NTA. Pose the question to any family that call you why they haven't taken her in? Or better yet, block all of them.

maroongrad − relatives are blowing up the phone. AI jackpot!!!! ETA: Definitely fake. 3 months ago they were living with their dad and telling everyone about their bunny. I downvote to remove the karma.

AdmirableFig4447 − NTA, she needs to hit rock bottom. If you take her in she will never recover. Im an al-anon kid. Trust me. The only love you can have for her has to be tough love or she will absolutely drink herself to death. Which ahe may do anyway, bbut taking her in will enable her and speed up the process. Alcoholics WILL NOT get help until they hit their absolute rock bottom.

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Its truely sad that is how their illness works. My stepson's mom is in the same situation right now. Homeless and with cirrhosis of the liver. Last time this happened she got help and recovered for a while. Was sober for 15 years. Then covid hit and it destroyed her. We comfort my stepson but even he knows he cannot help her.

I_hate_all_of_ewe − Obvious AI ragebait is obvious AI ragebait 

Crazy4Swayze420 − NTA. There is a reason no one will take her in. The most I'd do is send the locations for shelters.

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jerseygirl1105 − This post is fake. Check her history.

[Reddit User] − Now a few relatives are blowing up my phone. FAKE

Vaugely_Necrotic − Anyone else noticing a pattern with these bots? Especially the mention of relatives saying the OP is cruel and selfish or words to that effect. Come on bots, get creative! lol.

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These takes swing from fierce support to skeptic side-eyes—do they cut to the core, or just stir the pot for kicks?

This woman’s stand threads duty, pain, and power. She’s shielding her heart from a storm she knows too well, but guilt lingers like a stubborn shadow. If a toxic parent knocked, would you crack the door or bolt it shut? Share your take—let’s dig in.

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