Update : AITA for refusing to take my ex back but accepting my fiancé’s kids?

Bouquets piling up on an office desk sound romantic—until they’re from an ex who won’t quit. For one woman, daily flowers from her former husband are less a gesture of love and more a thorn in her side, especially as she plans her wedding to a new partner. Caught between his relentless notes and her fiancé’s growing tension, she’s navigating a minefield of loyalty and lingering pain, all while a family feud over a guest list brews.

Her ex’s campaign to win her back feels like harassment, but keeping it from her fiancé feels like a betrayal too. Add a fight over barring a beloved aunt from their big day, and it’s a recipe for stress. When she turned to Reddit for clarity, the advice poured in—some spicy, some sage. Is she wrong to stay silent, or is her ex the real troublemaker? Let’s unpack this tangled tale.

For those who want to read the previous part: Original Post.

‘Update : AITA for refusing to take my ex back but accepting my fiancé’s kids?’

Hello again! I wanted to give an update and also get your advice on another issue. As some of you predicted in my last post, Frank hasn’t given up. Every day, he sends flowers. Every morning, I find a new bouquet on my desk at the office.

The notes always say things like how he won’t give up on us, how he loves me, and how I’m the love of his life. (I’ve realized that these words don’t mean anything to me anymore.) I told Frank to stop, that I don’t want to talk to him anymore, but the flowers keep coming.

Since he has many connections in my company—including the owner, who is his friend—I can’t even figure out exactly who is delivering them to my desk. Frank comes from a wealthy background, which gives him influence in places like my workplace, making it harder for me to shut this down.

I haven’t told Mark about this because he gets very tense whenever Frank comes up in conversation. The last time I talked to him about Frank, he was angry. But keeping this from him doesn’t feel right either. What should I do? Another issue is causing tension between Mark and me. Mark doesn’t want me to invite my aunt to our wedding.

She is the mother of my cousin, who is married to Frank’s best friend. However, my aunt has always been a very important person in my life—she’s like a second mother to me. This has become a major point of conflict between Mark and me. I don’t want to create distance between us, but I also don’t want to lose my aunt. What should I do?. I would really appreciate any advice!

ADVERTISEMENT

The OP’s dropped an update on the saga—curious? Click here to check it out!

Flowers might bloom with charm, but when they’re from an ex who won’t stop, they’re more like weeds choking a new life. This woman’s caught in a storm—her ex’s daily deliveries are testing her peace, while her fiancé’s veto on a cherished aunt strains their bond. Let’s dig into the dirt.

ADVERTISEMENT

Frank’s persistence, despite her clear “no,” edges into harassment, especially with his workplace ties making it hard to escape. Her silence with Mark stems from fear—his past anger signals tension—but secrets rarely help love grow. Mark’s push to exclude her aunt, tied to Frank’s circle, feels like control, not care, hinting at trust gaps. Both issues scream communication breakdown.

This reflects a broader challenge: navigating exes and blended families. A 2023 Psychology Today report notes 55% of remarriages face stress from prior partners’ interference. Dr. Harriet Lerner, a relationship expert, says, “Honesty, even when scary, builds trust; control tears it down”. Frank’s overstep needs firm boundaries, while Mark’s aunt ban needs open talk. Lerner’s insight suggests she’s juggling too much alone.

ADVERTISEMENT

She could start by telling Mark about the flowers—calmly, framing it as a shared problem. A workplace HR chat could curb Frank’s access. For the aunt, a compromise—like a pre-wedding family talk—might ease Mark’s fears.

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

Reddit dove into this floral fiasco like bees to honey, buzzing with takes that range from fiery to thoughtful. From urging legal action against the ex to questioning the fiancé’s hard line, it’s a lively patch of opinions. Here’s what sprouted up:

fiestafan73 − You have to be honest with Mark. It is also time to tell Frank’s wife that her husband is sending you flowers. Also, I would inform Mark that if he does not stop bothering you, you will file charges with the police for harassment. Talking to his wife and threatening to charge with harassment, then telling Mark will tell Mark your true intentions.

I_wanna_be_anemone − Take photos of the flowers and notes then report it to the police. This is harassment. Make a show of giving the flowers away or disposing of them. If anyone asks tell them you’re sick of your cheating ex harassing you and that he should be spending his money on the child he conceived with another woman while you were married.

ADVERTISEMENT

You need to be up front with your fiancé, you are the victim in this instance. You’re being stalked/harassed. You’re supposed to be partners, talk things out. Does your aunt condone what your ex has done/is doing? Wouldn’t her showing up to your wedding to support you prove she endorses this new marriage over backing Frank?

Before getting married I’d strongly suggest couples counselling. Is Mark angry at you, or is he angry at the situation? He’s allowed to be upset that someone he loves has been subjected to all that pain, but if he isn’t communicating that appropriately then there’s bigger problems.

The same for you. Because you were cheated on, are you misinterpreting Marks words? There’s no way to know for sure without a professional acting as a mediator to help you both get everything out in the open. There are small kids involved OP, they need security in this situation. It’s not fair to commit to being in those kids lives when you haven’t done everything possible to build a secure foundation for the future.

ADVERTISEMENT

Report your ex to the police for harassment. Out him as a cheater publicly to your workplace. Get couples counselling with Mark so you’re both on the same page. And ideally, get therapy for yourself. It’s not normal to feel this much anxiety regarding other people’s actions that are beyond your control op. It isn’t healthy for you. 

Jumpy-Butterscotch23 − Sounds like two s**t guys.

False-Fall-6995 − Wait. You went from one toxic relationship into a relationship where you won’t speak your mind on someone important to you because you’re afraid to upset your fiancé… this is a red flag here.

ADVERTISEMENT

MariaInconnu − Don't marry Mark. Talk to your company's HR about the workplace harassment. Enabling your ex to harass you in your workplace IS workplace harassment on the party of the enablers. Tape a note to your desk explaining the situation if you have to. For example:

Do not deliver any flowers or gifts from outside the company to my desk. They are from my lying, cheating ex, who is now harassing me to take him back. I will not. We are over. Aiding in the delivery of his gifts to my workplace can be classified as workplace harassment on the part of my coworker. Please don't.

Free_Fishing_5116 − Tell Mark about Frank and the roses.... I don't know what problem Mark has with your aunt, so can't help you there...

ADVERTISEMENT

Hidden_Vixen21 − You haven’t told your fiancé?!? What the hell?!

Back_In_St_Olaf_ − I'm not entirely sure why Mark objects to your aunt attending the wedding. Your cousin may have ties to your ex by being married to ex's best friend, but does that mean your aunt is also somehow closely involved with your ex? Is this just about the wedding, or does your fiancé also demand you sever ties with your aunt entirely?

Regardless of how you handle your relationships with your aunt and cousin, you need to inform your ex in no uncertain terms that his attempts to contact you are unwelcome and if it doesn't stop immediately it will become a legal matter. Do NOT communicate with him directly, consult a lawyer and have them draft a cease and desist letter.

ADVERTISEMENT

Since someone in your workplace is aiding in delivering communication, go to HR and inform them of the situation and that you're taking legal action. I strongly urge you to find a new job ASAP. Your current place of employment simply gives your ex too much access since he still has close ties with your coworkers. I wish you the best.

Future-Path8412 − Tell that little b**ch boy’s Mommy. Since she doesn’t like you, she’ll probably rein him in.

Agreeable-animal − I just read your previous post and wanted to drop in here that Frank is CRAZY… accepting kids from a previous marriage is NOT the same as accepting your husband’s kid from his side chick. He needs his narcissistic head examinedc

ADVERTISEMENT

This bouquet of drama shows how fast old loves and new plans can tangle. Is she wrong to hide the flowers, or is her ex’s pursuit the real weed? Reddit’s split—some see a woman needing to speak up, others a fiancé needing to loosen up. The truth’s likely a hybrid: trust grows with truth, not secrets or ultimatums. What would you do with an ex’s unwanted gifts or a partner’s family ban? Toss your ideas below—let’s keep this love story growing!

Share this post
ADVERTISEMENT

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

One Comment

  1. ADVERTISEMENT