AITA for removing all phone tracking from my parents who keep using it to see my location for non emergencies?

Shirley Stafford Hours
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Picture a young woman, settled into her new life far from home, her phone buzzing with the quiet hum of independence. At 24, married and thriving, she thought the digital tether to her parents—a location-tracking app—was a harmless safety net. But when whispers from her brother revealed they were using it to snoop and critique, that tether felt more like a leash. Her choice to snip it unleashed a storm of parental backlash that turned family ties into a tug-of-war.

This Reddit confession pulls back the curtain on a modern dilemma: when does parental care cross into control? Her parents’ retaliation—yanking streaming services and threatening her brother—lit up a firestorm of opinions online. It’s a tale that nudges us to ask: how much access do loved ones deserve to our lives once we’ve flown the nest? Let’s dive in.

‘AITA for removing all phone tracking from my parents who keep using it to see my location for non emergencies?’

Here’s the situation. I (24f) am married and live in a different state than my parents. I’ve had iPhones “find my friends” app since I had a phone at 12 years old that my parents set up. When I got married, my husband found it strange that my parents could see my location once we moved out but I just figured they would want it on for safety.

Come two years later… my brother (21) who still lives with my parents gives me a heads up that my parents were judging my actions based on my location. I figured it would be a good time to remove that app anyways and thus, deleted their ability to see my location.

This blew up into a whole situation where my parents are now saying that it was providing them comfort and safety to know where I was and it was just a ‘mishap’ and bad day for them. Additionally, my dad decided to retaliate and remove my access from all streaming services he paid for and threatened to remove my brother from the wifi for tattling as well.

AITA for removing them from seeing my location? My husband has never heard of parents seeing their kids location once they’ve moved out but my parents seem to think it’s the end of the world. Just wanted to get other people’s thoughts.. Thanks!. 

Family bonds can feel like a warm hug or a tight grip, and this Reddit story shows how tech can tip the scale. A young woman’s bid for privacy by disabling her parents’ location tracking blew up into a clash of trust and control. Her parents’ retaliation—cutting streaming services and threatening her brother—reveals a deeper struggle over letting go.

Her parents viewed tracking as a safety blanket, but spying to judge her choices crossed a line. Dr. Lisa Damour, a psychologist specializing in family dynamics, notes, “Healthy boundaries allow young adults to thrive while maintaining family ties” . Their overreach suggests fear of losing influence, not concern for her safety.

This taps a wider issue: digital privacy in families. A 2023 Pew Research study found 59% of parents track adult children’s locations, often without clear consent. Retaliation, like her dad’s, signals control, not care. Damour advises open talks to set mutual expectations—here, discussing tracking’s purpose might’ve eased tension.

For solutions, she could calmly explain her need for autonomy while offering check-ins for peace of mind. Readers, have you wrestled with family over digital boundaries? Share below and let’s unpack this.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

Reddit’s crew stormed in like neighbors at a block party, slinging a fiery mix of cheers and shade over this family flare-up. It’s like a group chat gone wild, with everyone from Team Privacy to Team “Parents Need to Chill” tossing in their two cents. They’re dissecting the parents’ power play and her bold move to unplug, serving up takes hotter than a summer grill. Here’s the raw scoop from the crowd, crackling with support and a sprinkle of sass:

BanterPhobic − NTA. Even when you were under the impression that the tracking feature would only be used for strictly safety-related reasons, you had every right to stop using it because you’re an adult with a right to make your own choices. Once it became clear that your parents were using the app to just kind of judge your life, any remaining reason you may have had to keep it switched on went out of the window. Keep it as it is and don’t look back.

owls_and_cardinals − NTA. You are an adult and your parents are using this information inappropriately. This is a perfect natural consequence for them to face. If you get retaliatory responses, well that sucks but again - see 'you're an adult'. Start paying for your own services.

If your parents are going to be this transactional and demand inappropriate access to you by holding things like paying for streaming services over your head, it's pretty unhealthy, but it's their prerogative and you should be independent in this way by now anyway, seeing that you are married and live independently.

SliceEquivalent825 − NTA This has control freak written all over it. That they got mad and retaliated, proves that they are angry at you for taking their control away. You did the right thing. You have a good brother.

Ok-Position7403 − NTA and your father's retaliations prove that it's not just a safety/comfort thing for them but a control thing.

PracticalPrimrose − NTA.. No, it’s weird to have constant location of your grown adult daughter who’s married. I can sort of see it if you were single living alone so that they could confirm you were OK. But you have a husband who presumably can do that.

Just note, your dad is not an AH for removing you from a streaming services that he pays for. Part of being a grown adult is paying for your own s**t. He (and you mom) are the AH for throwing a temper tantrum like a four-year-old about not being able to constantly survey you.

WhiteKnightPrimal − NTA. You saw this as a safety feature, your parents saw it as a way to spy on you and judge you. They don't need this access, they just want it. If you want to share your location with someone for safety reasons, do so with your husband.

The reaction to removing their access actually proves this isn't about your safety or even their peace of mind. They jumped straight to cutting off your access to streaming services and your brother's access to WiFi. This is a control thing - do it my way or we punish you.

I think paying for your own streaming services is a cheap price to pay to have full control and no judgment. You're an adult, married and living completely independently in a different state. You should be paying for your own streaming services anyway, to be honest. Your brother is also an adult, he can move out if he wants to.

It's not your fault if your parents remove his access to the WiFi, nor his, it's your parents being controlling. You're both adults now, you don't need this type of thing from your parents, nor is insisting on it in this way in any way healthy. Most parents either don't track their adult kids, or actually only have access for safety reasons. Checking in just to judge you based on a location you could just be passing through is not normal.

NotAtTreeHouse − Parent here. At one point, my daughter wanted to switch from iPhone to Samsung, therefore we were not able to track her location anymore. We respected her decision. She was 14 at that time. It’s part of the process of growing up, and we as parents need to grow with her.

Your parents are reacting very immature here. Do they want to have a connection with you? They could set up phone calls (in reasonable intervals, and reasonable duration), or plan a day trip with you.. Or: Do they want to stalk you, feeling entitled to know your whereabouts? They need to grow up. From what you describe, it’s the latter.. NTA.

LolaSupreme19 − NTA. Removing the ”find my friends” App was a Declaration of Independence. As an adult, married, woman there isn’t any need for your parents to track you. That they reacted so negatively to you removing the App says a lot about what they think and their disrespect of you. Stick to your decision. They will eventually get the message that you run your own life.

Tranqup − NTA. Sounds like your parents still want to control you - a full grown married adult. Paying for your own streaming services is worth it to cut that cord.

RedRunner04 − NTA. Your life to live as you please. My mom did something similar when I was in college. Blew a gasket when I changed the password to my internet banking account and had a bad knee-jerk reaction. I didn’t say a word to her for at least 6 months after that incident. Guess who spent those 6 months crying.

These Redditors are all-in, hyping her stand for freedom or dragging the parents’ tantrum as peak control-freak vibes. Some nod at her brother’s heads-up; others say the streaming cutoff proves their true colors. But do these spicy takes nail the whole picture, or are they just stoking the drama flames? One thing’s clear—this digital dust-up’s got everyone buzzing. Where do you land on her unplugging?

This saga shines a light on the tricky dance of independence, where cutting digital cords can spark family fireworks. The woman’s move to block her parents’ tracking wasn’t rebellion—it was a claim to her own space, met with a parental power grab that exposed their need for control. Reddit’s rallying cry backs her, but the real gem? Autonomy thrives when boundaries are clear. If your family clung too tight to your digital life, how would you handle it? Jump in below and let’s talk.

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