AITAH for completly ending 15 years of friendship because my friend decided to “test” my loyalty and friendship?

Venus Hours
Comments 0 Comments

In a quiet university town, where lifelong friendships are supposed to weather any storm, one young man faced a heartbreak sharper than any exam failure. Picture him, hunched over his desk, phone buzzing relentlessly as his childhood best friend spun a web of lies that would unravel 15 years of trust. For years, he’d been her rock—through family chaos, financial woes, and endless late-night talks. But when her loyalty “test” pushed him to the edge, he made a choice that left jaws dropping.

The air grew heavy with betrayal as her excuses piled up—dodging meetups, vague stories, and pleas for cash that never quite added up. Friends whispered warnings, sensing something off, but he held on, believing in their bond. Now, with her manipulative game exposed, he’s left wondering if he’s the villain for walking away. Readers, brace yourselves—this tale of trust and trickery hits hard, stirring that gnawing question: how far does loyalty stretch before it snaps?

‘AITAH for completly ending 15 years of friendship because my friend decided to “test” my loyalty and friendship?’

I (25M) had a lifelong friend (25F) since early school days. We were incredibly close—best friends, inseparable. She came from a very difficult home situation: emotionally draining, controlling family, and overall a lot of hardship. Knowing that, I always supported her—mentally, emotionally, and even financially when needed. She was like family to me.

We even went to the same university and stayed close all those years. Our friendship never had any real issues—at least, that’s what I thought. But around a year ago, she started acting distant—not just with me but with our whole friend group. She constantly made excuses to avoid us, and we began noticing she was lying about small things.

We all offered help, but she refused to open up or act any differently. Then she started asking me (and only me) for money—multiple times. Since I knew her situation and I was in a position to help, I never said no. I even reassured her not to stress about paying it back quickly. At one point, she told me her family was in serious trouble, and she needed a much larger amount.

I was hesitant, but I gave it to her because I truly believed I was helping someone I cared about. Not long after, she told us she was dating a new guy. Everything she said about him was a red flag: he controlled what she wore, tracked where she was, had no job, lived in a village, had a kid, had been in jail, and was divorced.

All of us warned her, but she insisted it was true love. I said,

She kept making excuses. Finally, she promised to send it by the end of the day. Instead, that evening, I got a message from her boyfriend, using her account, saying he wanted to talk to me. Important note: we’d always felt that this guy didn’t like our friendship and was probably jealous or insecure about it.

I was in the middle of a university exam at the time, so I messaged back saying I couldn’t talk right then but would be available in an hour. Despite that, my phone kept ringing again and again, which was incredibly disrespectful. Then, out of nowhere, I got a message from another number—still her—saying she was in big trouble, that her parents were throwing her out of the house and she needed my help.

After suspecting her lis for months and her syrange behaviour now I instantly knew it was another lie. She was clearly with her boyfriend and trying to manipulate me. That was it. I had enough. She tried to send her boyfriend to me instead of promised money , even when i told her its okay if you dont have it rn.

I told her I didn’t like the way she was acting and I knew she was lying. After everything I had done over the years—always being there for her, always helping, never hesitating—I told her I no longer wanted to be her friend. Later, I found out from another friend that the whole thing was a test.

She wanted to see if I would still help her. After everything I’d already done. That infuriated me more than anything. I decided in that moment I would never contact her again. And I haven’t. Honestly? I don’t care what happens to her now. Whatever comes next is her responsibility—not mine..

And to top it off—she now apparently thinks I’m the bad friend.. Because I didn’t pass her “test.” After all those years of real, unconditional support. So… AITA for cutting her off completely, even though she clearly still has issues in her life—and now even sees me as the villain?

Trust is the glue of any friendship, but when it’s twisted into a test, things get messy fast. This young man’s story—lending money, dodging lies, and facing a staged crisis—screams of boundaries crossed. Let’s unpack this with a clear lens, balancing his heartbreak with her murky motives.

First, the friend’s behavior reeks of manipulation. Asking for money repeatedly, especially under vague pretenses, flips a red flag sky-high. Dr. John Gottman, a renowned relationship expert, notes, “Trust is built in very small moments, which I call ‘sliding door’ moments” (source: The Gottman Institute). Here, those moments were slammed shut—her lies about family crises and dodging repayments eroded years of goodwill. His choice to help, despite doubts, shows loyalty; her “test” screams entitlement, possibly fueled by her tough past or her boyfriend’s influence.

Zooming out, this taps into a broader issue: financial exploitation in relationships. A 2021 study by the National Domestic Violence Hotline found that 94% of abusive relationships involve some form of economic manipulation (source: The Hotline). While not overtly abusive, her actions—using fake emergencies to gauge his support—mirror tactics that exploit trust. Was she testing him or dodging accountability? Either way, her refusal to own up left him burned.

So, what’s the fix? Clear boundaries, for starters. He could’ve set repayment terms upfront or paused after her first dodge. Moving forward, Gottman’s advice rings true: rebuild trust through honest, small actions—but only if both sides commit. For readers, talk it out—call out lies gently but firmly, and don’t let guilt keep you tethered to a sinking ship. What’s your take on spotting manipulation before it’s too late?

These are the responses from Reddit users:

Reddit’s corner of the internet exploded with reactions to this friendship fiasco, serving up a buffet of wit, outrage, and armchair detective work. From calling out the “test” as a flimsy excuse to urging legal action, the community dished out opinions spicier than a late-night taco run. Here’s what the Redditors had to say, unfiltered and ready to spark debate:

bitty20 − NTA and she is not your friend. Break contact and never look back.

RandomReddit9791 − That was not a test. She just wanted to see how much she could take advantage of you. 

bluesunset90 − Nta. I don't buy that it was a test. She was using you, you realized it, she didn't think you'd call her out, and instead of owning up to it, she gaslit you within an inch of your life. She used your reaction against you so she could blame you and cut off contact. If you're able to file a civil lawsuit, I'd encourage you to do so to get back what you can. Otherwise, cut her off for good. Sorry that happened to you. Hard to lose a lifelong friend.

avid-learner-bot − 15 YEARS, man. That's like a lifetime of friendship. And she pulls this stunt? It's kinda hard not to be pissed off, especially after you've been there for her through thick and thin. But I get it, you're done playing the fool. NTA

nylonvest − There was never any test. This is a very poorly disguised attempt to distract you from what you were doing - not the exam, the part where you asked her to pay you back the money. If you give her more money you obviously don't need the money paid back. She was trying, all right. But she was never interested in how good of a friend you are. She only cared about the money, whether she could get more out of you, or whether she could avoid paying you back.

ryox82 − This sounds like addict behavior. I didn't go through the comments to see if it was brought up, but it seems pretty obvious.

RJack151 − NTA. Take her to small claims court for what she owes you. Tell her that you decided to test her ability to pay you back by getting the courts involved.

White_Walker101 − NTA. Not at all. She was not your real friend. She was a gold digger who wanted to be financially set by you and play the other guy. I am so sorry that happened to you, she literally stole from you.. All for a “test”, yeah she was testing to see how long she could mooch off of you.

justitiavalet − can people stop posting this AI bs? the long dash is a dead giveaway

Icewaterchrist − You answered a text during a university exam? GTFO lol

These takes are pure Reddit gold—raw, unpolished, and brimming with conviction. But are they spitting facts or just riding the drama wave? Some see a master manipulator dodging debts, while others smell a deeper issue, like addiction or toxic influence. One commenter even sniffed out AI vibes—talk about a plot twist! Whatever the truth, the thread’s a fiery mix of support and shade. So, what’s your read—do these opinions hit the mark, or is there more to this story than meets the eye?

In the end, this saga leaves us pondering where loyalty ends and self-respect begins. He poured years into a friendship, only to find it tangled in deceit—cutting her off wasn’t just a choice; it was survival. Yet, her painting him as the bad guy twists the knife. What would you do if a friend “tested” you like this? Drop your thoughts below—have you ever had to ditch a toxic bond, and how’d you bounce back?

Share this post

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *