UPDATE: AITA for planning on ending our relationship because he acts like his daugher is ‘heiress’ to my things?

Shirley Stafford Hours
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Imagine a bustling restaurant, plates clinking softly, where a woman sits across from her soon-to-be-ex, her jaw tight with resolve. She’s built a life of stability for her kids, brick by hard-earned brick, but his entitled jabs about her wealth have frayed her patience. Today, she’s drawing a line in the sand, ready to reclaim her peace.

Her story crackles with defiance and heartache. She’s not just ending a relationship—she’s guarding her future and her boys’ dreams against a partner who sees her success as his shortcut. As his words spiral from denial to insults, readers can feel her frustration boil. Will she walk away stronger, or will his guilt trips linger? This tale of boundaries and betrayal pulls you in, begging the question: when is enough truly enough?

For those who want to read the previous part: AITA for planning on ending our relationship today because he acts like his daugher is “heiress” to my things?.

‘UPDATE: AITA for planning on ending our relationship because he acts like his daugher is ‘heiress’ to my things?

We formally broke up today, and he made it very difficult to focus on our conversation. He interrupted me every five seconds and was in denial for almost half of it. I asked to meet at a small restaurant ( public place strategy) to avoid any type of drama. I tried to be respectful but definitely wanted to bring up my uneasiness and feelings about his behavior.

He tried to brush it off at first, but when I insisted, he evaded the subject. I told him what he already knows: my children are my priority as a sole provider, and I want to ensure that they have their needs covered. There were some comments on my other post that I had thought about but hadn't verbalized. Like, what would he inherit my kids or what's his plan for his own kid.

I know he doesn't have much, but that's no excuse. When I established the comparison between what he wanted for his kid vs. what he would give to mine, his face changed, like I was greedy and he was insulted. He said my kids don't have a Dad and that he can provide a paternal figure. This triggered me so much that I had to try and keep my volume in check.

My thought is that being there like a piece of furniture in exchange for financial benefits for his own kid is acceptable to him. I would have loved for my kids to have a decent dad, but that's just not in the cards, and right now, I'm better off alone than with Ben. I was so angry that he kept asking me to calm down.

He said he's leaving his daugher good knowledge on life in general because there are things that only he can offer since her mom is too ‘secular’, whatever that means and I didn't ask him. I said that we needed to break up, and he immediately got upset and left our table. I thought he was gone, but he came back later and claimed he only went to use the restroom.

I told him that I can't share any part of my life with him after he behaved like a gold digger and that even if I was able to get past this, I would never even consider getting back together because his intentions are entitled and dishonest. All in all, I'm just glad that we weren't alone.

He has high blood pressure issues ( real, I've seen the medication), and sometimes, I've suspected some types of mental health issues ( going from zero to 100 for things that seemed incongruent. He said he was truly sorry if he offended me and said that he felt tricked and betrayed. That breaks are meant for introspection and to seek improvement and not to abandon a relationship.

That my actions will have an impact on his daughter because she really likes me. I offered to have a last call/text with her if he agreed but his answer was “ no, f**k you, you don't get to say anything to her”. He said that I'm caught up in my new “mainstream life” ( whatever that means, it's f**king offensive considering that I've worked for my financial stability after a few years of things not being great).

He told me to go suck on my colleagues d!cks but immediately apologized. I told him I'm not surprised at his behavior, since it shows me that he seems to think s** can solve anything. I also said that since he was being gross and vulgar, I'm learning just now that men like him are unfuckable: hobosexual, handout seekers and insincere.

And that I will never date someone who is not financially stable, ever again, because this is a huge lesson. I wish that I could say that I had left him sitting alone at the table, but he left first. When I was about to get my handbag to pay for my food, he rushed to get his backpack and walked off really quick. I blocked him everywhere but I already changed my locks.

He never had a key nor did he stay over but I'm just being cautious. He called one of our friends in common to vent about me and she ended up angry with him because he was very insistent that I had mistreated him and she told him that she needed to hear my side of the story.

She and I had a long conversation and she told me that she can't blame me, because our group of friends had been noticing the imbalance in our relationship and how he seemed comfortable including himself in conversations about business and success when in the 16 years that she's known him, he's never gotten anything done.. So that's my update. I also blocked him on social media and messaging apps.

Breaking up in a crowded restaurant sounds like a scene from a drama, but for this woman, it was a shield against chaos. Her boyfriend’s deflections and crude outbursts reveal a man clinging to control, not love. She’s not wrong to feel betrayed—his insistence that she owe his daughter a slice of her success crosses a line, especially when he offers nothing for her kids in return.

This clash echoes a wider issue: financial manipulation in relationships. A 2024 survey by the National Domestic Violence Hotline found that 35% of respondents faced economic control from partners (https://www.thehotline.org/resources/). Her story highlights the subtle coercion of “jokes” and guilt trips, tactics that erode trust. She’s protecting not just her wallet but her autonomy, a choice many face in unequal partnerships.

Psychologist Dr. Harriet Lerner, author of The Dance of Anger, notes, “Anger is a signal, and one worth listening to” (https://www.harrietlerner.com/). Her fury at his “father figure” claim isn’t petty—it’s a warning bell. Lerner’s insight suggests she’s right to trust her gut, as his entitlement masks deeper disrespect. His vulgar exit only cements her decision to walk away.

Moving forward, she’s wise to block contact and lean on friends for perspective. For readers, this begs reflection: how do you spot a partner’s true motives? Therapy or journaling can clarify boundaries, but her strength lies in acting decisively. What’s your take on escaping a one-sided relationship? Join the conversation below!

Heres what people had to say to OP:

Reddit didn’t mince words, dishing out cheers and sharp-witted jabs like a virtual roast. Here’s the community’s take:

TopProfessor7731 − Ty for the update.  Secular usually means not religious. I'm guessing that based on the rest of the picture you've painted of this man, that his Ex doesn't respect his patriarchal rights to tell her her own business and manage her own finances. He sounds like a manipulative partner at best. I don't think you would have ever wanted him as a father figure to your sons. 

Bitchee62 − The secular comment and the comments on her “mainstream life” give me the creeps. I wonder if he was aiming for a “religious” based relationship where he would be “ THE MAN”of the house and his word would be the final say

ParticularFeeling839 − Great update! I'm so glad you dumped him

ElehcarTheFirst − Good for you! Some days you lose an ounce, sometimes you gain a couple pounds. Some days you lose a 250 lb man baby. Those are the best days

teresajs − NTA. You dodged a bullet. My guess is

MadamKitsune − He talks like he wants a docile tradwife with sugar mama money to spend on him.. Good riddance to him!

Aggravating-Cat5357 − He's not upset that you broke up, he's upset that you aren't falling for his manipulation, and that now he has to lose you as his financial fall back. You handled everything graciously, and the fact he tried using his daughter as another form of manipulation to try and get you to reconsider,

but then turning around and not giving a s**t about her feelings and not letting you have a proper goodbye shows where his true priorities lie. Congratulations on losing a moocher. You can now freely live your life without his constant backhanded remarks and attempts to ingratiate his daughter to you.. I just feel bad for her, but that's not in your control. That's entirely on him.

AgonistPhD − Ah. He's in a cult, isn't he?. Well, regardless, good for you! You really dodged a bullet.

Petalwhisperrrr − You did everything right and handled it way better than a lotta ppl would’ve tbh. he showed his true colors hard af, like throwing tantrums, guilt-tripping, then straight up disrespecting u when u wouldn’t play along. i hate how these type of men think they can offer “father figure” vibes as payment while u foot the rest of the damn life expenses. u protected urself and ur kids and that’s what matters. now he can go “introspect” somewhere far the fk away.

Abject_Jump9617 − An unplesant chapter in your life, closed. These hot takes sizzle with support, but do they capture the full weight of her choice? Or are they just reveling in the breakup glow?

Her restaurant showdown wasn’t just a breakup—it was a declaration of independence. By shutting down his entitlement, she’s carved out space for her kids and her sanity. This chapter’s closed, but its lessons linger: trust your instincts, and don’t let guilt rewrite your priorities. Have you ever had to cut ties to protect your peace? Share your story below—what would you have done in her shoes?

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