AITA for locking my room door so kids won’t get inside and ruin my stuff?

Jonathan Hours
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Amid the buzz of a bustling family dinner, the idea of safeguarding one’s personal space can sometimes feel like a bold stand for autonomy. This story unfolds as a determined 19-year-old finds herself in an uncomfortable situation when her parents host an extended family dinner. With uncles arriving with large families and a cacophony of rowdy children on the loose, the atmosphere grew unpredictable. The tension is palpable, and her need for privacy and the protection of her valuable belongings—handwritten notes, gadgets, and cherished personal items—forced her to make a clear decision.

Her choice to lock her room was not born out of spite but a genuine attempt to prevent chaos from invading her personal sanctuary. Even though her parents supported her precaution, the reaction from other relatives, notably her grandmother, sparked a fiery debate on respect and family solidarity. This divide has left her questioning whether setting boundaries in a familial setting can ever be misinterpreted as disrespect.

‘AITA for locking my room door so kids won’t get inside and ruin my stuff?’

So basically my (19F) parents decided to invite my uncles (who live together) and their families for dinner. Both my uncles have 6 kids, and 4 of each of their children are in a very close age bracket. (3F, 3F, 2F, 1.5F, 1M, 4F, 5F, 6F).

Now I don’t mind them coming over but the thing is these specific 8 kids do not have any manners despite 3 nannies accompanying the the families wherever they go but refuse to correct the children if they are doing something damaging to the house like spilling water on the floor or breaking an ornament and instead the nannies are scrolling through their phones while the children’s parents are having discussions with our family in the living room.

Now I have a lot of valuable things in my room like my hand written notes, my iPad, my phone and laptop which I do not want the kids near as I know they’ll cry and ask for it and break it. (keeping them in drawers isn’t viable either as the kids open drawers as well). So I simply decided to lock my room so no one can enter and everything would be safe.

I told my mom and she had no problems with it. Now throughout the dinner everything went well until I saw one of aunts with a buzz of kids carrying her 2F daughter outside our room and trying to open it as she wanted to change her. She called me over and said the room wasn’t opening and that we’d have to call the key master.

I said the room wasn’t opening as I’d locked it and she could use any other room to change her daughter if she liked. Now she didng say anything just looked at me a bit weirdly and went to the other room. I know she complained about it because after the dinner ended my grandmother was not happy with me and said I was disrespecting my Uncle and Aunts and saying they couldn’t raise kids properly and being rude that they have too many kids to handle ,

and God was the one giving them babies and we had no right to comment about their fertility (Even tho I said nothing like this?) She said my cousins also have a right to this house and to see what’s inside the room. My parents aren’t angry with me and think I did the right thing but after what my grandmother said, im still wondering Am I the A**hole?

Letting your personal space remain untouched is a fundamental aspect of establishing healthy boundaries. In environments where emotions run high and family gatherings quickly turn chaotic, creating a physical barrier can be a savvy move. When young adults protect their privacy by locking doors, it’s not a statement of hostility but rather a necessity in preserving their belongings and personal peace. Setting limits can help all parties understand that boundaries exist not to exclude, but to safeguard what matters most.

This incident sheds light on a broader, underlying issue: the delicate balance between family unity and individual rights. Experts note that creating and respecting personal boundaries is essential to prevent conflicts and accidental damage during large gatherings. As parenting expert Dr. Laura Markham puts it, “Setting boundaries isn’t about keeping people out, but about protecting our space and teaching respect for personal property.” Her insights remind us that even amidst chaos, there is wisdom in safeguarding one’s environment. (For more on her views, visit .)

As we broaden the discussion, consider how societal expectations can sometimes clash with personal needs. The expectation that every family member should be allowed unfettered access to one’s private area may overlook the necessity of protecting personal assets.

The situation calls for a balanced approach, where respect for boundaries coexists with familial warmth. Professionals suggest that clear communication and prearranged ground rules during large family gatherings could help preempt such conflicts. Ultimately, establishing a respectful distance is not only a practical step; it is an affirmation of individual rights in a shared space.

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

Here are some hot takes from the Reddit community—candid, humorous, and refreshingly direct. These reactions capture a broad spectrum of opinions on whether locking a room in one’s own home during a family dinner is justifiable: While many agree that the OP’s decision was practical and necessary, others challenge the notion of family access to personal space, sparking a debate on tradition versus modern boundaries. Whether this decision is an act of self-care or a subtle insult to family unity remains up for discussion among the community.

LayaElisabeth − NTA. Tell Granny that 'rude' stops where 'truth' begins. Just because they're in denial doesn't mean those kids are raised properly. Also, next time this happens, ask grandma if she likes to sign a contract that states she'll personally replace everything the kids break.

TeenySod − NTA. Obviously there was another room where your aunt could change her daughter, why was yours so important? Your parents are OK with you locking your door and it's THEIR house, so the rest of the family can jog on, just ignore them.

shontsu − God was the one giving them babies. I'm pretty sure its the unprotected s** thats giving them babies.... NTA.. She said my cousins also have a right to this house and to see what’s inside the room. Why? I see no logical reason why your cousins should have a right to go into your room.

KaliTheBlaze − NTA. I grew up with a large extended family, and at family gatherings where there were a lot of kids around (so...most of them, as my generation had a bunch of bursts of kids born close together, a few years’ pause, then another round of kids, rinse/repeat, and the oldest of my generation were starting to have their own kids by the time the youngest of my generation was born),

it was never seen as odd to lock up rooms with expensive stuff to protect them. Home offices, older kid/young adult rooms, sometimes even the parents’ bedrooms, just to make sure that if a kid slipped away unnoticed, they couldn’t get into too much trouble or damage things like tech and fish tanks. It wasn’t about criticizing the parents or the kids, it was about large gatherings being a bit chaotic, so better to prevent accidents than clean up after them.

firstWithMost − You secured your possessions against the very real possibility of damage or destruction. You did nothing that could be construed as rudeness by any right thinking person. NTA. Your grandmother needs to do some fact checking.

Southern-Scar5048 − Nta If your parents are fine with you locking your door in their house, then other people feelings on it do not matter. my grandmother was not happy with me and said I was disrespecting my Uncle and Aunts and saying they couldn’t raise kids properly and being rude that they have too many kids to handle and God was the one giving them babies and we had no right to comment about their fertility (Even tho I said nothing like this?). Sounds like grandma was projecting her own thoughts on them.

NatashOverWorld − Grandma, when either you or God are going to stand there protecting my iPad, then I'll open the door. Till then, they can use a room without things to break.. NTA

carmabound − NTA - God should have produced a key...

DGS_Cass3636 − NTA at all. You have the absolute right to lock the door to your room. They don’t have the right to enter your personal space and do anything they like. Especially when they don’t live at your house. Locking your door was the smart option, and I do feel like you dodged a huge bullet, for if they were to enter your room. Also, why would she not just use the bathroom to change diapers? Seems like the most logical option compared to a bedroom.

Heretoread-27 − No they have NOT the right to see the room.. Those are toddlers! They have no business in a young adults room without said young adult. I have nephews of your age, older and younger. My daughter is 2,5, I would never blame them to lock their room cause toddlers are feral

In conclusion, this story presents a poignant reminder that setting personal boundaries—even in a family setting—can sometimes lead to misunderstanding and conflict. The OP’s choice to lock her room to protect her possessions is a simple yet impactful act of self-preservation in an otherwise chaotic gathering.

It challenges the conventional idea that family means unconditional access. We invite you to weigh in: What would you do when personal safety and respect clash with family expectations? How can families balance individual privacy with collective togetherness? Share your thoughts and experiences below—your perspective could be the spark for a more empathetic dialogue.

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