AITA for telling my 17 year old she needs to go to her volunteer job and not “no call-no show” for a third time?
Picture a Sunday morning, the kind where coffee’s brewing and plans are soft—until a teen’s oversleeping sparks a showdown. For one mom, her 17-year-old daughter’s decision to skip her volunteer job wasn’t just about a missed shift; it was a flare-up of deeper tensions. This girl, trusted with freedom—no curfew, bar nights, even a wild house party—rarely hears “no” at home.
But when Mom drew a line, urging her to honor a commitment tied to college dreams, the response was a verbal fireball: accusations of control, ugly names, and threats to cut ties. Parenting’s a tightrope—too loose, and kids might unravel; too tight, and they push back hard. This story dives into that wobbly balance, where a mom’s nudge for responsibility collides with a teen’s quest for autonomy, leaving both wondering who’s right.
‘AITA for telling my 17 year old she needs to go to her volunteer job and not “no call-no show” for a third time?’
Parenting a teen feels like herding cats—especially when your kid’s got one foot in adulthood. This mom’s clash with her 17-year-old over a no-show volunteer job reveals a classic tug-of-war: freedom versus duty. The daughter’s got a sweet deal—no chores, no curfew, even bar nights—but flaking on a college-bound commitment isn’t just slacking; it’s a red flag. Her lashing out, calling Mom controlling and worse, shows defiance, not reasoning. Mom’s permissive style, born from her own harsh childhood, might’ve left gaps where boundaries should stand.
This isn’t just about one Sunday—it’s about preparing kids for life. Psychologist Dr. Lisa Damour, in a New York Times piece , says, “Teens need responsibilities to build resilience, even if they resist.” The daughter’s claim that “no one cares” about attendance doesn’t hold up—emails from staff prove otherwise. Her fast-talking accusations (gaslighting, abuse) sound like deflections, maybe picked up from social media buzzwords. A 2023 Pew Research study found 70% of teens crave structure despite pushing back, suggesting she might need firmer lines, not less.
Mom’s not wrong to push accountability—colleges value consistency, and ditching shifts could hurt applications. But her hands-off approach left room for entitlement; a 100-person party mess, cleaned by parents, screams missed consequences. Dr. Damour advises clear expectations: “Set non-negotiables, like honoring commitments, and follow through.” Mom could’ve set rules earlier—say, limiting parties or tying privileges to reliability. Now, she might try a calm sit-down: “I want you to succeed—how can we make this work?” If defiance persists, natural consequences—like losing the gig—teach better than lectures.
See what others had to share with OP:
Reddit’s a circus of opinions, and this post got the crowd roaring—here’s the scoop, with a wink of humor:
These takes are spicy, but do they solve the puzzle? Maybe the truth’s hiding in the hangover haze.
This mom’s Sunday standoff with her teen wasn’t just about a missed shift—it was a wake-up call about freedom’s fine print. Giving a kid wings is great, but without guardrails, they might crash. Her daughter’s fiery words sting, but they’re a chance to reset, not retreat. Parenting’s no script, just heart and hustle. So, what would you do—let her skip and learn the hard way, or double down on duty? Jump in below—how do you steer a teen when they’re speeding off course?
