AITA For calling the police to get my daughter back from my sister?

Shirley Stafford Hours
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The morning started with a cheerful plan—a 13-year-old girl off to her grandparents’ for a week of cousin-filled fun. Her mom, juggling work and solo parenting, felt a spark of relief at the thought of a breather. But by evening, that spark had fizzled into fury. A missing phone charger—petty to some, but a costly symbol of disrespect—lit the fuse. When her daughter’s attitude clashed with her sister’s defiance, this mom drew a line in the sand, and it led straight to a police call.

Parenting is a high-stakes dance, especially when family meddles in your moves. This mom’s story isn’t just about a charger; it’s about respect, control, and what happens when someone else tries to rewrite your rules. Readers might feel her frustration boiling over, wondering how far they’d go to hold the line with a rebellious teen and a boundary-crossing sibling.

‘AITA For calling the police to get my daughter back from my sister?’

So this morning I (40f) Got a call from my daughter (13f) to ask if she could go to my parents house for the week with my sister and her cousins. YES! great, I'm working. it's nice for her to have some fun before holidays are over. Brilliant. BUT when I got home she's taken my phone charger.

This may seem like no big deal, but having spent £100+ replacing chargers she has lost/broken, since Christmas. and this is the second one she's taken in 2 days. I was mad. I couldn't get hold of her, so called my sister and ( overly crossly I admit) demanded the charger be returned to me before they go away.

Now whilst en route back My daughter was giving me serious attitude, suggesting I should go out of my way by over an hour to get the one she left at her dad's. I was furious at this. chargers are a big source or stress between us as she just has no respect and in the end I said she couldn't go away because of her attitude. My sister however decided she hadn't done anything wrong and I was just being an AH so took her.

despite me outright telling my sister she was not to take her. In the end I called the police. explained the situation and they returned my daughter to me. My whole family says I am being an AH but I think my daughter really needs to learn some respect. I'm not made of money and as a self employed person my whole life is on my phone so not having a charger is a big deal! Am I being unreasonable here?

Edit- Please try a d understand the issue was not the charger. that was the

Parenting teens can feel like herding cats in a storm, and this mom’s clash shows how fast things escalate. Her daughter’s charger-snatching habit—costing over £100—pushed her patience to the brink, but it was the attitude that flipped the switch. Revoking the trip was a classic consequence: disrespect has costs. Her sister’s choice to take the girl anyway? That’s where the real trouble brewed, turning a family spat into a power struggle.

The mom saw her authority undermined; her sister likely thought she was saving the day for her niece. Both have a point—teens need consistency, but family often steps in with good intentions. The catch? Ignoring a parent’s “no” risks chaos. A 2022 study from the Journal of Family Psychology found that clear parental boundaries reduce teen defiance (apa.org). Sister’s move blurred those lines, leaving mom no choice but to double down.

Dr. Laura Markham, a parenting expert, notes, “Discipline isn’t about winning; it’s about teaching responsibility” (ahaparenting.com). Here, the mom’s police call wasn’t about the charger—it was about enforcing consequences when words failed. Markham might say it taught the daughter (and sister) that rules aren’t optional. Still, it’s a bold move that sparked family backlash.

For solutions, mom could lock up her charger and set firmer device rules to curb the cycle. A family sit-down might clarify boundaries with sister, avoiding future standoffs. Readers, how do you handle family who overstep—talk it out or call in backup?

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

Reddit didn’t hold back on this one, dishing out opinions hotter than a summer sidewalk. From charger woes to sisterly betrayal, here’s what the crowd had to say:

Big_Zucchini_9800 − NTA. I get how your sister is spinning it as

and then took your child without your permission, which is undermining and also technically kidnapping. I would ground my daughter for trying to go anyway and I would cut off contact with sister for a while until there is a real apology.

Agoraphobe961 − NTA. It sounds like the chargers are an ongoing issue that you’ve had repeated conversations about. She yet again did what she was not supposed and you gave her a punishment. Your sister does not get to undermine your parenting. You told your sister point blank not to take her, you were nice enough not to press kidnapping charges.

Zealousideal_Mood118 − Everyone seems very focused on the charger, like OP called the police because of the charger. She called the police because another adult had her child and refused to return the child. You can't just take other people's kids and refuse to bring them back.

jersey8894 − NTA...my son and his gf have the charger struggle with their teens...now the chargers go with my son to work! Him and his gf's so if the 2 teens can't find their chargers they have dead phones...they finally starting keeping track of them when they realize nobody was gonna bail them out!

Tiny-Orchids − If someone had my child and refused to return them I'd absolutely call the police.... who would just shrug and be like

Cellyber − Stop giving your daughter a charger. And keep yours with you. Over 100 spent on them and she still can't understand to take care of them? Then she doesn't get one.

Also NTA you told the adult to return your kid. The adult said no, so you call the police. Your sister probably is getting looks cause you had to call the police to get your kid back.. Play stupid games win stupid prizes. Seems your sister and daughter need to learn that lesson.

Drazilou − Whatever the reason, if the parent tells an underage person not to go somewhere and an adult (whoever they are) does take them, that's kidnapping, and you have every right to call the police on them.. All that is left is a 'you could, but should you', with various opinions and shades of grey. I think, as part of your parenting, you told her she couldn't go, and you made sure she came back. Crystal clear boundary. No means no.

Cursd818 − NTA If my sibling took my child against my consent, I would absolutely call the police and that would be the end of any kind of relationship between us. Kidnapping is not something you forgive, ever. Anyone bullying me to 'forgive' them would also be out.

[Reddit User] − NTA undermining parenting makes entitled children, you’re doing the right thing. Your sister over stepped a boundary, you gave warning and then reinforced the boundary by following through with calling the police.

destiny_kane48 − NTA, your sister completely disregarded you as your daughters parents. It doesn't matter what she thinks. Your daughter behaved poorly, and you gave her a consequence. Your sister should have brought her home. She essentially took your daughter against your wishes. She probably won't do it again.

These takes are loud and clear, but do they miss any shades of gray? Maybe there’s more to this family tug-of-war than Reddit’s quick quips reveal.

This mom’s wild day wasn’t just about a charger—it was about holding her ground as a parent when family tried to pull the rug out. Raising a teen is tough enough without siblings rewriting your playbook, and her police call sent a loud message: my rules, my kid. Love them or hate them, boundaries keep the chaos in check. What would you do if your family ignored your parenting call? Drop your thoughts—let’s hash it out.

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