AITA for refusing to make my son go on a camping trip after his stepdad and uncle told he had no choice?

Shirley Stafford Hours
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A family camping trip promised s’mores and bonding—until a battle over snapshots stole the show. An 11-year-old boy, fed up with his mom’s photo-posting obsession, dug in his heels, and his dad backed him up, even as tensions flared with her side of the family.

This isn’t just about a tween’s tantrum; it’s a stand for personal choice. Their story pulls us into a tug-of-war over respect and autonomy, leaving us wondering how we’d navigate a kid’s right to say no.

‘AITA for refusing to make my son go on a camping trip after his stepdad and uncle told he had no choice?’

I share custody of a moody, emotional, cranky 11yo boy with his mom. I am very mindful and respectful that he's hitting puberty and give him space and boundaries. One minute he will give you the death stare for being in the same room and the next minute he'll want to play fight because he knows I'm going to hug and kiss him.

Right now Ethan going through a phase where he doesn't any adult relative posting any picture or video of him on their social media account. The of exceptions is if you're between the ages of 14 to 25 and doing something fun or makes him look cool. His mom and stepdad love posting pictures of their family all the time.

Ethan told them not to post pictures of him. His stepdad told him to not post family pictures without him is like letting him not shower or brush his teeth. It's sorta required. My son complained to me and I said I'm not getting involved with how they run their home. To me, it's not a hill worth dying over. Ethan let them know how he felt.

I had Ethan all week and he goes back to his mom's on Saturday. He refuses to go back because he doesn't want to go to the family Labor Day camping trip where he'll be photographed. I asked my son if this was really worth fighting over and he believes so. I spoke to his mom and she thought it was ridiculous.

I said I agree but this is just some weird tween boy power trip thing so just promise not to take his picture. She refused. Now Ethan refuses to go on the trip. Last night his stepdad and maternal uncle called him separately. Both times resulted in Ethan crying. They basically told him his ass was going. That pissed me off.

I called them both up and said my custody issues with his mom is none of their business. I agree it's stupid and a compromise could had been met. Now that you all inserted yourself into the matter, I have no choice but to let him stay here if he wants. His mom is mad at ME. I told her to just drop it and you can take him for a few extra days when you get back.

The situation has gotten too dramatic. It's not like he doesn't want to go back because he has to clean his room. He has to know that his stepdad and uncle are not calling the shots too. She is furious at me and says I'm encouraging bad behavior by letting him stay here. Ironically I'm way more strict than she is.

Edit: This has nothing to do with taking his picture. He loves having his picture taking with the older kids or the young adults because he think it makes him look cool. Anything to do with older people makes him feel like he's 5.

Experts in child development and family dynamics stress the importance of respecting a child’s autonomy, even at a young age. Renowned developmental psychologist Dr. Laura Markham notes, “Children should be seen as emerging individuals with their own opinions and preferences. When parents or guardians allow the voices of the children to be heard and respected, it fosters confidence and a strong sense of self.” In Ethan’s case, his clear refusal to be forced into a family event that compromises his personal boundaries is an important step in asserting his autonomy.

Additionally, relationship expert Dr. John Gottman underscores the negative effects of coercion within family dynamics. “When authority figures impose their will—especially in blended family settings—it can create long-term resentment and damage trust.

It’s crucial for adults to listen to children’s expressed needs rather than expecting blind compliance.” The OP’s decision to allow Ethan to stay with him not only protects the child from further emotional distress but also sets a precedent for respecting consent—a lesson that will benefit him as he grows older.

Navigating custody and family pressures can be challenging, but experts agree that supporting a child’s self-expression is paramount. By reinforcing Ethan’s right to decide whether his image is shared, the OP is advocating for a healthier, more balanced approach to family interactions—a necessary adjustment in modern parenting.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

Here are some insightful reactions from the Reddit community—frank, supportive, and emphatic. Many commenters praise the OP for defending Ethan’s right to control his personal image, arguing that no adult should override a child’s clearly communicated boundaries simply to satisfy family traditions.

Several users underscored that coercion, especially when it results in emotional distress, is unacceptable. While a few caution that such actions might complicate custody dynamics, the overwhelming consensus is that protecting the child’s autonomy is crucial. These voices reflect a growing trend in valuing consent and personal privacy, even among younger family members, and applaud the OP for taking a stand against undue pressure.

Asiatic_Static − His stepdad told him to not post family pictures without him is like letting him not shower or brush his teeth. It's sorta required. NTA. This is bloody weird and these activities are by no means equivalent. If the kid doesn't want his picture posted they shouldn't be forcing him to have his picture posted.

Having-hope3594 − NTA this is important to your son and is upsetting to him then it’s good. You stick up for him. But custody wise, if his mother is supposed to have him that weekend, there’s not a lot you can do. 

SnooPets8873 − NTA but you might want to be careful. If they escalate, this is not going to be a legitimate reason for withholding parenting time/visitation from his mom. Your agreement may not be court ordered now (or maybe it already is?) but that doesn’t mean your ex, fueled by the stepdad’s ego, might not choose to go a more formal route.

Amiedeslivres − NTA Consent matters, and your son is not a baby who can’t express or understand consent. His mother and her folk are teaching this kid that his consent doesn’t matter. One of my children reached a point, around age 9, where they did not wish to be kissed or hugged without consent. They only had to tell me once.

I have teased them a couple of times, but I kept it gentle and when they said to stop I stopped. I have not hugged or kissed them without their explicit consent in over ten years. This kid occasionally asks for a mama hug when they really need it, and exchanges hugs with friends after big projects (theatre geek) and that is their prerogative.

Do I occasionally have feelings? Do I miss when they would climb into my bed and snuggle up to watch a movie together? Of course. But they are their own person, with dignity and autonomy. I do not own them.

I have responsibilities to them (not for them any more) but no right to them. Period. This is a lesson your son’s mom needs to learn, and communicate to her family. She should be defending this kid’s appropriately developing autonomy.

FairyCompetent − NTA. It's ridiculous that they insist on taking and posting his photo publicly against his wishes, and it's borderline pathological that his own mother had adult men call and bully her child to tears. This is a concerning dynamic on several fronts.

Dittoheadforever − You're NTA for not forcing him to go on the trip. But you shouldn't dismiss his valid feelings as

bathroomstallghost − NTA youve made the correct call, even if the situation feels silly

EmploymentOk1421 − NTA. This feels like a power flex on the stepfather’s part. Like it’s a way to remove a portion of this kid’s autonomy, feeding stepdad’s ego for posting happy family photos. My heart goes out to this kid. He will remember this, and his mother will wonder why he rarely spends time with her once he is 18.

Glittering-Gur5513 − Get him a black t shirt that says in big white letters,

Beginning-Pop-6615 − I seen a video once about this tiktok mom who never respected her sons wish to not be filmed and posted online, the kid got himself a hoodie made that said something along the lines of *my mom doesn't respect me not wanting my picture posted online* he wore it every single day until she gave up 😅😆 this post just reminded me of that

In conclusion, the decision to let Ethan stay back, rather than force him into a family camping trip against his wishes, underscores an important principle: a child’s right to personal autonomy must be respected. While some may argue that family unity should take precedence, the incident reveals that compromising a child’s expressed needs for the sake of tradition can lead to lasting emotional consequences.

The OP’s actions remind us that every family member—regardless of age—deserves to have their voice heard. How do you think families should balance shared traditions with individual boundaries? Have you witnessed or experienced similar conflicts over personal autonomy? Share your thoughts and join the discussion below.

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