[Update] AITAH for ditching my girlfriend at a restaurant, which contributed to her failing her probationary period at work?

A lunch date gone wrong spiraled into a relationship wrecking ball. A 27-year-old man, fed up with his girlfriend’s antics after she flopped at a job he secured, faced her wrath—from wet shoes to fake emergencies—until he packed up and left.

This isn’t just about a soda refill; it’s a wild ride through betrayal and boundaries. His story drops us into a tense apartment where love curdles into chaos, making us wonder how far is too far when trust takes a hit.

For those who want to read the previous part: AITAH for ditching my girlfriend at a restaurant, which contributed to her failing her probationary period at work?

‘[Update] AITAH for ditching my girlfriend at a restaurant, which contributed to her failing her probationary period at work?’

Last week, I [27m] talked about how my girlfriend, Cindy [26f], blew her probationary period for the job I got her completely. She was chronically late, unproductive, and she took 90-minute marathon lunch breaks. She claims that I sabotaged her because instead of being late when getting back to work, I left her at a restaurant when she wanted another refill of her soda.. Anyway.

Cindy decided that she was going to take some time off of work for her mental health. Knowing that she had absolutely no savings, I asked how she was going to contribute to rent, groceries, and utilities, but Cindy said that wasn’t my concern. I decided to be upfront and flat-out tell her not to expect me to financially support her. She responded by calling me a “low provider,” whatever that means.

It's also not right because I'm more of a no provider. I'm not into arrangements where I financially support a woman for companionship. At this point I knew that our relationship was basically over, but I decided that I’d stay in the apartment we rent for the next two months (as we have paid our rent in full until the end of May) and then leave. Then Cindy began taking steps to actively sabotage me at work.

For example, last Friday, when I was getting ready for work, I couldn’t find my shoes. After letting me look for them for 15 minutes, Cindy finally said that she washed them. I’m fairly sure Cindy has never washed anything other than a plate or her own laundry, but on Friday morning, she abruptly decided to wash my shoes. Right. They were soaking wet.

I had to wear an old pair of Crocs that were two sizes too small to the office that day. On my way home, I bought new shoes and kept them in my car. Then Cindy began spamming me with texts during a meeting on Saturday (one I had told her I was having), saying there was a guy banging on our door. She insisted I needed to come home right away.

I checked our Ring camera and saw nothing. When I texted her back saying so, she said it must have been the neighbor or something. It’s worth mentioning here that I can see the neighbor’s door on the camera too, and nobody was banging on it either.

I got the picture of what was going on, and realizing the next escalation would be having my tires slashed or brakes cut, after work that day, I went back to our apartment, gathered my belongings, and left. Cindy naturally went off the rails, but I got out safely..

Now I’m at my buddy’s house for a few days until I can find a new living situation. Thank you for all the advice you gave me. I’m sure this can act as a cautionary tale in various ways. Unfortunately, I'm kind of out of it after all this drama, so I'll leave that part up to you.

Ditching a date at a diner shouldn’t end in career sabotage, but this girlfriend’s revenge playbook—hiding shoes, spamming texts—screams desperation to control. The man’s exit wasn’t just smart; it was survival. Her failure at work, pinned on him, fueled her spiral, but his refusal to bankroll her “mental health” break drew a clear line. This isn’t love—it’s a power struggle gone toxic.

Relationship red flags like these are common: a 2022 Journal of Couple & Relationship Therapy study found 35% of breakups involve retaliatory behavior post-conflict. Her “low provider” jab aimed to guilt him, but his no-support stance held firm. Therapist Dr. John Gottman notes, “Trust erodes when actions don’t match words”. Her sabotage proves she’s more foe than partner.

Moving out dodged worse escalation—slashed tires aren’t far-fetched when resentment festers. He should notify his landlord and document the apartment’s state to avoid damage claims, maybe even loop in HR if work pranks persist. Readers, spotting sabotage early saves heartache—name one red flag you’d never ignore in a relationship.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

Here are some candid reactions from the Reddit community—frank, supportive, and unyielding. Many commenters voiced relief that the OP chose to exit a relationship marred by escalating sabotage, arguing that no one should have to endure a partner whose actions threaten both their emotional well-being and professional stability.

Huge-Shelter-3401 − Thank you for the update and good luck during this transition. If you haven't said anything to your boss, you might want to updated him/her just in case she continues to try to sabatoge your work.

LuigiMPLS − My guess with all the scrolling she did on her phone under her desk instead of actually working she stumbled upon TradWife TikTok and she was banking on a free ride despite her sounding like she does none of the house work the TradWife trend implies thinking she can just get a free ride.

If you can, next time you're at the apartment try and take as many pictures of the place as you can without her knowledge. I would not put it past her to try and flip the script and say you trashed the place in anger at her or something and f**k you out of the deposit.

Armorer- − Was this the woman who caught a ride to work with you that instead of working would sit down and open a blank word doc while she played on her phone?. This is a crazy update.

Either_Management813 − I’m glad you’re out, this sounds dangerous. I read your first post and this is definitely devolving. If you don’t have all your stuff out you need to do so as soon as possible before it’s trashed. You also need to let the landlord know you’re out. You may still be on the hook but if you can give notice to protect yourself in case she damages the place so much the better.

And if rent is paid to May, what happens after that? What if she doesn’t pay it? Is there a lease? I have no idea if you can give notice if you’re both in the lease/rental agreement but you need to find out. If it’s only in your name you need to get her evicted.. Updateme

Strange-Ad263 − Some HR departments have safety plans for domestic abuse. Consider using it if it is available.

SnooWords4839 − I'm glad you escaped, before she claimed you abused her.. I hope you blocked her and keep your location off on your phone. Make sure to tell landlord, you moved out and will not be renewing. If possible, go back, with a friend and take pictures of the place to send to landlord now.

Sparklingwine23 − Please notify your landlord that you have vacated the apartment and that you will not be renewing the lease. You don't want to be on the hook for any further craziness from her.

Koalabootie − Next update is 100% going to be her claiming to be pregnant

Poku115 − Always refreshing to see an OP with a brain and not

Equal-Brilliant2640 − Let the landlord know you’ve moved out because your now ex became hostile. There is a very good chance she will wreck the apartment and leave you on the hook for all the damages

A lot of places now have laws that allow you to break a lease without consequences to escape domestic abuse. You need to find out if your area has that, and if it does, let the landlord know you’re leaving an abusive relationship

In conclusion, this update offers a stark glimpse into a relationship in disarray—where a minor incident at a restaurant cascaded into a series of retaliatory actions that disrupted not only personal life but also professional stability. The OP’s decision to remove himself from an increasingly toxic situation serves as a powerful reminder of the importance of establishing and respecting personal boundaries.

While some may view his actions as extreme, the gravity of the sabotage he experienced calls into question whether any form of partnership is sustainable without mutual respect. What are your thoughts on when it is acceptable to prioritize self-respect over a relationship? How would you handle escalating sabotage from a partner? Share your insights and join the discussion below.

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