AITA for not giving up my half of my inheritance from my mother because my sister who’s a single mom of a profoundly disabled child and needs money more?

The death of a loved one often leaves families facing not only loss but also difficult decisions about how to honor the departed’s final wishes. In this case, a recently bereaved 30-year-old woman finds herself at a crossroads when her late mother’s will clearly stipulates that her estate be divided equally between her and her sister, Meghan. Despite knowing her sister’s challenging circumstances, the will leaves no room for deviation.

Facing intense pressure from Meghan—who is struggling as a single mother to two young sons with autism—the poster remains determined to claim the inheritance that she is legally and rightfully entitled to. She envisions using her share to relieve her own financial burdens, pay off student debts, and secure a modest but stable home with her fiancé. In doing so, she underscores the importance of honoring her mother’s expressed wishes, even when compassion might urge a different outcome.

‘AITA for not giving up my half of my inheritance from my mother because my sister who’s a single mom of a profoundly disabled child and needs money more?’

My (30/F) mother (63/F) passed away a couple of months ago following a sudden & unexpected cardiac arrest. She owned a very nice home outright & had a fairly significant amount of savings as both her & my father's retirement savings were in her bank account (my father died 8 years ago at 59 from cancer).

My sister

Her now ex husband divorced her because he couldn't

Meghan is pressuring me into just taking the jewellery left to me & letting her have both the house & the money because

My fiancee is foreign born (I met her overseas at a concert in early 2018 & we've been going back/forward as much as we can ever since, remote work helps a lot) & we are in the process of securing her permanent residency on a partner visa here which is an expensive & time consuming process.

Receiving my share will wipe out what's left of my student debt, allow me to take time off work to get her Visa sorted faster & buy us a small but still nice house outright so we can live without the stress of a mortgage. Not having a mortgage will afford us the ability to live comfortably but not extravagantly, take a holiday every year, & be free of financial stress.

It will also pay for a small but nice wedding & to fly her parents & sister out for it. Meghan is furious, saying it's selfish & I can always get a better job if I want a better life & at least I can work & that I need to have sympathy for her situation. I don't want to give up work I am passionate about & that gives me good work life balance to go work 14 hour days in Big Law downtown to service a mortgage.

I also feel like as harsh as it sounds, I shouldn't have to sacrifice for her choices. My fiancee & I have chosen not to have kids, & while I know she didn't choose to have a disabled son, she *did* choose to gamble on parenthood (her kids were both planned) & it's not my fault she

I am legally entitled it & she can't do anything to try & get it, but she's told a few people, & a lot of them say I'm being selfish & should give up my share. AITA?

Navigating inheritance disputes can be an emotional minefield, particularly when family members’ needs appear starkly unequal. Family law experts stress that a will is a final testament to the deceased’s wishes and must be adhered to strictly. In the words of family law attorney Laura Wasser, “A will represents the true voice of the departed; its directives must be honored to maintain legal integrity and respect for the decedent’s intentions.” This underscores that when a will divides assets equally, that division is designed to be final regardless of later hardships.

Furthermore, financial experts point out that personal circumstances can change over time, and future needs are inherently unpredictable. While Meghan’s current difficulties are undeniable, the poster’s financial plans—such as eliminating student debt, securing housing, and ensuring a stable future with her fiancé—are equally important. When a will’s language is clear, altering its distribution would require significant legal action or mutual consent among the heirs, something that appears absent in this case.

Moreover, preserving the original terms of a will helps prevent ongoing family conflict that could fester for years. Disputes over inheritances often leave lasting emotional scars and can disrupt family unity. Counselors advise that respecting the decedent’s wishes can sometimes be the most respectful path, even when one party’s situation seems more dire.

As noted by legal commentator and financial expert Philip Coggan, “Honoring the intentions of a will isn’t about ignoring current hardships but about staying true to what was decided by someone who cared deeply about fairness.” This perspective affirms that fairness is best achieved by following the explicit instructions of the will.

Finally, while empathy for a sibling’s misfortune is natural, it does not create an obligation to sacrifice one’s own financial future. Responsible estate planning rests on the clarity of the testator’s intent. The poster’s decision to retain her share aligns with legal, ethical, and practical considerations—emphasizing that family support should be offered voluntarily rather than enforced through legal mandates that compromise individual rights.

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

The Reddit community has expressed strong and varied opinions on this matter. Many commenters emphasize that the poster is simply upholding her mother’s clear instructions, arguing that any deviation would undermine the integrity of the will. Others point out that while Meghan’s struggles are unfortunate, relying on a legal document ensures fairness in the long run. Some even quip that those who think her share should be redistributed are welcome to donate their own funds instead.

stannenb − Receiving my share ... It doesn't really matter what receiving your share will do. All that sounds fantastic for you and your fiancé, but even if you planned to spend it all on c**aine and s** workers, nothing would change. Your mother, knowing your life circumstances, decided to split her estate equally.

You are under no obligation at all to change that. If you want to be generous with Meghan, by all means do so, but don't feel like you have to weigh the morality of Meghan's demands. You don't need any sort of reason to simply take the money and enjoy your life.

Outrageous-Ad-9635 − NTA If you can achieve all of those things you plan to with your inheritance, then it sounds like Meghan will also be getting a huge financial boost from her share. Instead of demanding that she gets essentially everything, she should be happy with her share and use it wisely.

As you say, she rolled the dice by having children and it’s not your responsibility to prop her up because that risk didn’t really pay off for her. Your mother knew of Meghan’s situation and still decided not to give her a bigger share. Her wishes should be honoured.

carbonfroglet − NTA.. Would it be nice if you to give her more? Sure, but you aren’t an a**hole for not doing so. If your mom wanted her to have more because of her kids she would have written it in her will. Besides, there’s no guarantee that you won’t have need for it in the future. If you did give it to her and next year you suddenly couldn’t work I don’t think she would give it back.

Elegant_Traffic_2845 − Tell those busybodies who think you should give up your inheritance that they are welcome to make a huge cash donation to your sister as well. 

Apprehensive_Fee_918 − NTA she basically wants her sibling to do more for her children than their father was willing to do. Tell the flying monkeys that the topic is not up for discussion and if they feel so passionately about it, then they can open up their own wallets for your sister. I understand that she is caught between a rock and a hard place but you did not put her there.

lifelearnlove − NTA. Your mother’s wishes were for the two of you to share the inheritance equally. None of us know what is in our future. Despite best laid plans, people can end up with difficult circumstances …. life threatening illness, accidents, severe financial hardship etc.

Peaceout3613 − I'd just tell her that your mother knew about her circumstances and if she wanted her to have that money she would have arranged it that way. It's not like she's being left penniless, she's getting half. She's just being greedy.

Odd-Page-7866 − NTA. Sorry about your mom. Since this is pretty recent I assume your mom knew about sister's kids and their medical needs. That said mom still decided how she wanted her estate handled.

ArtShapiro − NTA Keep and enjoy your inheritance. Ignore folks who think their need for the cash infusion is more important than your financial goals and use of the funds. Your planning sounds both reasonable and intelligent.

Busy-Magician-6309 − Definitely NTA. Your mother did the right thing, splitting the inheritance 50/50. If your sister's complaining it's not enough, that's on her.

In conclusion, this situation highlights the complex interplay between legal entitlement and familial compassion. While it is undoubtedly heartbreaking to see a loved one face severe hardships, the decedent’s clear instructions in her will provide a firm framework for distribution.

The poster’s decision to retain her rightful half reflects a commitment to honoring her mother’s wishes while also planning for a stable future. Yet the debate remains open: should familial obligations ever override legal directives, or must the will stand as the final word? Share your thoughts and personal experiences—how do you navigate the tension between duty to family and adherence to legal mandates?

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