AITA for refusing to give my coworker rides to work?

Shirley Stafford Hours
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Picture a chilly morning, a 19-year-old parked outside his buddy’s house, drumming his fingers on the steering wheel as minutes tick by—again. He helped his friend score a job, even offered rides to work, but now he’s stuck playing chauffeur to a chronically late coworker, and his patience is thinner than a paper towel.

Each delay chips away at his day, turning quick commutes into mini-sagas of waiting. When he finally draws a line—no more rides—the car goes quiet, and so does their friendship. Was he too harsh, or just guarding his time? Readers, hop in for a ride through a tale of favors, frustration, and workplace boundaries.

‘AITA for refusing to give my coworker rides to work?’

I (m 19) work with a friend (also m 19). I got him a job at the small company where I worked. When I first recommended him to my boss it was because I thought it would be a temporary position over the christmas rush. It was not. My main problem comes from the fact that he doesn’t have a drivers license.

I was okay with the idea of driving him to and from work for a couple of months even though he has a habit of always being a couple of minutes late. This isn’t a huge deal at our company because we get payed hourly for a job that doesn’t have a set time frame. Latley though, he’s been consistently at least 10 minutes late.

While it’s not a big deal for my boss, I hate sitting in my car in front of his house for that long. I like to get work over with as soon as possible and while those ten minutes aren’t going to change my life, I’d rather get ten extra minutes at home than sitting in a car. Today I made up my mind that I wasn’t going to ignore his tardiness.

I texted him 20 minutes beforehand to ask if he would be ready in 20 minutes. He said yes and I knew it was probably a slight exaggeration so i took my time leaving the house. He got a good extra 5-10 mins. Then, when I got to his house, I texted him to tell him I was there. no reply. 10 minutes later he finally appears.

Usually he starts telling me about his day and I kind of get over my anger but this time I stuck to what I told myself and let him know that I didn’t want to drive him anymore. I wasn’t rude, I didn’t yell or anything, I just said, ‘i’m sorry I don’t want to drive you to work anymore because you’re always late.’

He started arguing saying that it wasn’t his fault and he was busy. In the conversation I also mentioned that things would be different if he wasn’t old enough to get a license and his parents hadn’t promised him a car as soon as he got the drivers license. He told me that every time I brought up the drivers license thing it stresses him out.

He kind of phrased it like he thought I brought it up out of concern, which I do every once in a while, but this time it was because he’s making me late when he could very well get a drivers license and drive himself. After I made my feelings known, the car ride was quiet.

Then at work it was quiet. On the way home it was also quiet (ik shoker). So basically I think he got mad about the fact that I was done waiting around for him. I really don’t think I’m in the wrong here but maybe I’m missing something..

Favors between friends can feel like a warm handshake—until they start to pinch. This 19-year-old’s story is a classic: he drives his coworker to work, but the guy’s constant tardiness—10 minutes or more—turns a kind gesture into a daily drag. The driver’s done waiting, but his friend’s excuses and cold shoulder hint at bruised feelings.

The driver’s frustration is legit. He’s not just losing time; he’s losing control of his schedule. His friend, meanwhile, leans on “being busy” and dodges accountability, even though he could pursue a license. It’s a power imbalance—one gives, the other takes. The driver’s calm boundary-setting was fair, but the friend’s silence screams resentment.

This echoes a bigger issue: workplace favors gone lopsided. A 2022 LinkedIn poll found 65% of workers regret mixing personal favors with jobs, citing blurred lines. Psychologist Dr. Adam Grant notes, “Generosity works when it’s reciprocal—otherwise, it breeds resentment.” Here, the driver’s generosity hit a wall; his friend’s lack of effort broke the deal.

What’s the fix? The driver could offer one last chat—say, over burgers—to clear the air, suggesting public transit or a license push. If the friend balks, the boundary holds. Readers, how do you handle favors that fizzle? Share your thoughts below.

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

Reddit revved up for this one, tossing out takes sharper than a morning coffee buzz. Here’s what the crowd had to say, no filter:

gcalig − NTA. He is costing you about three hours of your work week every week. Math: ten minutes to get to his house, ten minutes waiting for him, ten minutes out of your way on the way home.. Thirty-some minutes each day, every day. You're paid by the hour so you know exactly how much that is a week and its gone on ten weeks longer than you thought it would. I bet that is a chunk of change.. The least he can do is be outside waiting for you.

DeviousMe7 − I used to pick up a work mate as he was always late so I'd thought I'd help him out by getting him to work on time. I told him if he was just 1 minute late getting into the car then I'd leave without him and our arrangement would be finished, it only took two weeks and the arrangement was over, I can't stand late people especially when doing them a favour.

WatchingTellyNow − NTA, for all the reasons you state.

StatisticianFar7690 − NTA - not your responsibility. License or not.

Prestigious-Bluejay5 − I used to drive a workmate home. It wasn't out of my way and I didn't charge her. I got rear ended and she just sat in the car. Didn't look back or step out of the car to verify that I had a witness. It just pissed me off. That was the last day that I gave her a ride home.

Full-Desk5792 − Nope NTA. Fun fact, I had a friend whose mom would drive both of us to school. He, however had the time management of a sloth, and we were routinely late.

His mom made it a rule that if either of us is running more than 5 minutes behind we are being left at home. She ended up driving me to school alone a lot (also the bus stopped right next to their house and a 3 minute walk from school, so it’s not like he had to walk over the Rockies in a blizzard to school).

Junior-Author6225 − NTA. You're not his personal chauffeur. You gave him a ride for a while, but he's taking advantage of your kindness.

alphabetacheetah − Nta, you can stop giving him lifts for any reason you want. Your reasoning here is justified, he gets a lift but can’t be considerate enough to be ready on time. Stuff him

sixdigitage − He is 19. You don’t need to say anything. You are wanting to be on time for work. He is making you late. His issues are not your problem.. If he loses him job, he’ll blame you. Which will be a lie. There is a man a block from me who is always waiting at 05:45 M-F for his ride. The ride usually gets there at 06:00. Yet, he is there early. If he is late, he is still there in time for his pickup.

Ratchet_gurl24 − I used to give a coworker or two a ride into work. I had 2 rules. #1) I will only pick up, if it’s on my regular route (no detours, no exceptions). #2) I won’t wait around if they’re going to be late. (I did have to clock-in at a specific time). Both of them tried to guilt me into breaking those rules. They ended up having to find some other sucker to taxi them around. Lesson learned.

Those comments are zesty, but do they steer toward truth or just skid into drama? The driver’s holding his ground, but is silence the new normal for these two?

This carpool clash leaves us idling at a crossroads. The driver’s done playing taxi for a friend who can’t show up on time, but the fallout—quiet rides, chilly vibes—stings. Was he right to pump the brakes, or should he have given more leeway? Favors between buddies sound great until they stall out—what’s the right gear here?

We’re itching for your stories! Ever had a friend lean too hard on your kindness? Would you cut the rides or keep the peace? Drop your takes below and let’s keep this convo cruising.

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