AITA for holding my son to a contract and making him pay me back from his education fund?

The kitchen table was strewn with old receipts and a crumpled contract, a silent witness to a father’s gamble on his son’s dreams. Two years ago, Tom, 45, watched his fresh-out-of-high-school son, Jake, pitch a “foolproof” investment with the starry-eyed confidence of youth. Against his better judgment, Tom loaned him the cash, tying it to a deal: if it tanked, Jake’s education fund would take the hit. Now, with the plan in ashes, that contract’s come due.

Jake’s back home, eyeing community college, but his wallet’s as empty as his promises to repay. Tom’s insistence on accountability has Jake fuming and his ex-wife seething, painting Tom as the bad guy. Readers might feel the sting of tough love, wondering if teaching a lesson is worth the family rift. This story dives into the messy clash of trust, money, and growing up—can a dad be firm and fair?

‘AITA for holding my son to a contract and making him pay me back from his education fund?’

My son came to me with a fool proof investment. I told him it was not a great idea. He said that he had a bunch of money in his education fund and I should just give it to him. He was fresh out of high school and not in post secondary. If we had taken money out and he wasn't in school there was a pretty big tax hit.

I told him that I would loan him the money but that if his investment didn't pay off then he had to pay me back from his education fund. I figured it was safe since he can't get the money unless he is in school. We wrote up a contract for the loan including nominal interest.

His fool proof investment went poof. He got a job. It turns out that working for a living is harder than school. It's been two years and he is going to community college this fall. He managed to save up exactly zero dollars from two years of work. He did have a string of girlfriends and a few vacations though.

I told him he has to pay me back before he empties the account. He got upset that I'm taking his money meant for his education.. I asked him how much money would be in the account if I had let him invest it?. He didn't have an answer.. I got my money but he is pissed.

His mother is upset that I'm holding him accountable. I told her she could pay me back the loan and he could have all the money in the account. She hung up. I could afford to write off the money. It is substantial but not crippling to my future. But I need him to understand that money isn't free.

Money and family mix like oil and water, and Tom’s story is a textbook case. Holding Jake to a contract might seem cold, but it’s rooted in a hard truth: actions have costs. Jake’s bravado led to a bust, and Tom’s insistence on repayment is less about cash and more about maturity. Still, the family’s backlash shows how tough love can spark more heat than light.

Financial psychologist Dr. Brad Klontz, in a 2023 Forbes article, says, “Teaching financial accountability early sets kids up for independence—shielding them from consequences breeds entitlement.” Tom’s loan, secured by Jake’s education fund, mirrors this, forcing Jake to face his choices. But the harsh delivery risks resentment, clouding the lesson.

Data backs this up: a 2022 Journal of Consumer Affairs study found 35% of young adults who dodge financial consequences repeat risky behaviors. Tom’s not wrong to enforce the deal, but he’s walking a tightrope—pushing accountability without alienating Jake.

What’s the fix? Dr. Klontz advises pairing consequences with guidance: Tom could offer a repayment plan tied to Jake’s new job, showing faith while keeping the lesson intact. It’s a chance to mend fences without caving. Readers, ever had to teach a costly lesson? How’d you balance love and limits?

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

Reddit’s crowd dove into Tom’s dilemma like it was a family reunion brawl, tossing out cheers, critiques, and a few head-shakes. It’s like overhearing a lively bar debate—everyone’s got a take, and they’re serving it hot. Here’s the unfiltered scoop from the masses, packed with sass and wisdom:

forgeris − NTA. He and his mother are just pissed that you didn't provide money free of consequences. If you bail your kids financially every time they s**ew up they will never learn anything and will keep failing throughout their adult life. So you did your son a favor and he can always come back for more loans but the next time he will think all through much more carefully and will know about consequences.

[Reddit User] − The fact that it was described as a 'foolproof investment' shows that he is either being disingenuous or has no idea what he is talking about.. A gamble with a positive expectation? Sure.. Foolproof? Lol no. Not sure about a judgement. How old was he when he accepted this offer? If an adult then probably not the a**hole. If not, then likely you are the AH. Enabling a minor to gamble is a bad idea. Thats a no-brainer.. Edit: NTA based on OPs comments below

solidly_garbage − The more I think about this, the more I see what you did, and appreciate it. I went from Y T A, to N A H, to:. NTA.. I'm making 2 assumptions. 1. I'm going to assume that you didn't/won't charge your son interest, nor did/will you make him pay back the

2. You loaned him the money from yourself personally, so as not to hit any deduction penalties from his actual education account. You let him try something. Failure is an important lesson, as is believing in yourself, autonomy, agency, and attempting something you believe in (even if it's flawed, see: failure as a teacher).

He is going to have consequences, without your intervention. He's going to school, and he would eventually have to take some loans for the portion that he took out for his

These are better terms than he would get if he went to any bank to ask for a business or personal loan. So many lessons wrapped up into one. And holding him accountable is the big one. It's important for someone entering adulthood. I'm going to get downvoted to oblivion for this take, but as long as my assumptions were correct, and you don't belittle him or dangle it over his head (except to remind him he has to pay you back), then this is ultimate good dad level parenting.. Edit: my first ever award! Thanks!

Ok_Smile9222 − I can't believe the YTA responses here. You are definitely NTA. I don't see how anyone could see it any other way. You told him the investment was a bad idea, he signed a loan agreement, and he paid it back. An expensive lesson for him but clearly a lesson he needed to learn.

Authentic_Jester − Honestly, sounds like you're the only one with any sense in this story. NTA.

Plenty_Carrot7973 − May be the best lesson he ever learns. NTA

hubertburnette − NTA. There is so much right now about being an

Avlonnic2 − NTA. Money is not free. Why did your son think he could sleaze out of the contract that you wisely insisted upon? You appear to have a wife problem *and* a son problem.

Successful_Bitch107 − I wish more parents were like OP and holding kids accountable. These days you have so many parents raising an entire generation of entitled idiots cause mommy was too afraid to tell them “no”

pottersquash − NTA. He went to whine to mommy? Hope he was just venting and he didn't think mommy would be able to make it all better. Frankly, you should've been harsher on the terms of the loan, maybe sue him and garnish his wages.

These Redditors aren’t holding back, hailing Tom as a tough-love champ or nudging him to ease up. Some see Jake’s pout as proof he needed the wake-up call; others wonder if Tom’s playing too hardball. But do their spicy opinions catch the whole picture, or are they just fanning the flames? One thing’s clear—this dad-son showdown’s got everyone talking. What’s your verdict on Tom’s stand?

Tom’s saga is a gritty snapshot of parenting at the crossroads of trust and tough choices. By holding Jake to the contract, he’s betting a hard lesson now will save bigger pain later—but at what cost to their bond? Jake’s got college ahead, and maybe this sting will sharpen his focus. Or maybe it’s just a wedge. What would you do if your kid’s big dream flopped and you held the bill? Share your take below!

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