AITA for kicking my sister out, so she has to live in a dormitory?

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Growing up in a small town with limited schooling options, family meant everything—even if that meant learning tough lessons at home. At 19, our protagonist found himself balancing university studies, a part-time job, and the considerable responsibility of providing a safe living space for his 16-year-old stepsister, who had graduated from elementary school and earned a spot at a well-regarded high school in the city. In an apartment inherited from his late grandmother, he thought he was giving her a head start with proximity to school, despite a cramped two-bedroom setup.

But as soon as the new school year rolled around, the sister’s behavior began to stray from the boundaries set in their blended home. Late nights, a reeking scent of alcohol and cigarettes, and constant disruption turned a once-promising arrangement into a source of great stress. Forced to reconsider the living situation, our protagonist weighed his responsibilities against his own need for a safe and respectful environment.

‘AITA for kicking my sister out, so she has to live in a dormitory?’

I (19m) started University and have been living in an apartment I inherited from my real mother's mother. (My mother was never in my life, this was her way to

We are from a small town with only an elementary school and the closest high school had a bad reputation and takes 45 minutes with the school bus. Luckily for my (step)sister (16f) who graduated from elementary school, was accepted to a nice high school in the city, as she had pretty good grades. Her options were to live in a dormitory or with me in my apartment, as it is walking distance from her school, and even tho this apartment is not very big, it has 2 bedrooms.

My stepmother (sister's real mother) and father agreed that that was the best idea, and I agreed because even without rent the bills from the apartment were high enough to be pretty good junk from my salary from the part-time job. First things were nice, as we usually get along nicely with my sister, but in the first school week she found some new friends and it turned out to be annoying for me.

She started to arrive home late and often smelled like alcohol and cigarettes, I told her that I couldn't fall asleep without knowing where she was. The last drop was last Wednesday, I arrived from work at 10 in the evening and she was nowhere, I sent her messages asking where she was and no reply, she appeared home at 5 in the morning - and did not sleep a moment.

I told our parents, that I couldn't live like that and my father told me

When she went to visit her parents on the weekend, I took all her stuff, loaned a car from my friend and took her stuff to our parent's place and told them, that I couldn't do it anymore and she could live in a dormitory, she has a place there. (Demand for High school student dormitories is not too high, lucky me.)

My father was pissed and told me that I am an a**hole for making my sister live in the dormitory.. Sister cried and said she did not want to share a room with some stranger.. I know she also hates the fact, that the dormitory has strict rules including curfew. Only my stepmother shrugged and told me that it was my sister's own fault she did not listen to me. I feel like my sister hoped that living with his older brother was her chance to have freedom, but I feel responsible for her.. AITA?

When young adults face the challenge of navigating personal freedom alongside family responsibility, setting firm boundaries becomes essential. Family psychologist Dr. Emily Rivera, known for her insights on adolescent behavior, notes, “Young individuals testing boundaries can often overstep limits when left without clear structure. It’s important for the guardians to provide both compassion and discipline to guide them towards responsible decision-making.”

In this scenario, moving the sister to a dormitory isn’t simply a punitive measure; it’s an attempt to instill the necessary structure that she evidently lacked. By shifting the environment from a more lenient home to a setting with strict curfews and regulations, our protagonist aims to protect her while ensuring his own living space remains conducive to his academic and personal goals.

Establishing accountability in such transitional years—while difficult—is sometimes the hardest lesson that paves the way to maturity. Experts emphasize that, in cases where irresponsible behavior jeopardizes the well-being of all parties involved, a change in environment can be the catalyst for healthier growth and self-regulation.

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

Overall, the community seems to back the decision to shift the living situation from home to a dormitory. Many readers agree that when a minor repeatedly disregards household rules—especially in a setting meant to be safe and supportive—it’s reasonable for the guardian to take decisive action.

Comments emphasize that while the familial bond is important, it doesn’t negate the necessity for boundaries. The consensus is that the sister’s behavior, which endangered both her well-being and the household’s stability, warranted a more structured environment. Although some critics highlight the challenges of assuming parental responsibility at 19, the prevailing sentiment remains that enforcing boundaries in pursuit of a safer living space is justified.

Serendipity_Calling − NTA. You’re not the a-hole. You took on a huge responsibility by allowing your sister to live with you while she attended high school, and it’s clear you wanted to help her out. However, she took advantage of that arrangement, breaking curfews and making you worry about her safety.

As a 19-year-old who is also managing full-time school and part-time work, it’s unreasonable for your family to expect you to handle the role of a full-time guardian. Your sister's behavior showed that she wasn’t ready for the freedom of living away from home. Moving her to a dormitory, which has more structure and rules, is a reasonable decision.

You tried to set boundaries and express your concerns, but they weren't respected. This situation isn’t about being her parent but about needing a living environment where you can focus on your own responsibilities and well-being. Your stepmother seems to understand the consequences of your sister's actions, which suggests that she, at least, recognizes your right to make this decision.

It’s unfortunate your sister is upset, but this could be an important learning experience for her. You’re not an AH for wanting a living situation that works for both of you, and the dormitory might actually be a better fit for her needs at this point in her life.

Still-Preference5464 − NTA and why isn’t the father more concerned about a 16 yo coming home at 5am?

Alternative_Dot_1026 − I love AITA. The entire sub can be summed up with

warclonex − NTA,. With freedom comes responsibility and accountability for their actions. Its funny how in this situation you are the one to cares 'too much' opposed to your dad who is saying let sister do whatever the f**k she wants....

ZookeepergameOk1354 − NTA. You are too young to be raising a teenager.

Bargle-Nawdle-Zouss − It's your home, so it's your rules. What's worse is that as her stepbrother, you don't really have authority over her, though if something bad happened to her, your father and stepmother and the authorities would try to make you be responsible for her.

Your father sounds like he doesn't want to parent his daughter, or deal with her drama at your actions. Stand firm, OP. If she won't respect your home, then she must accept the consequences.. NTA

First-Industry4762 − NTA, your father is a Great Parent (not) for not even worrying that his 16 year old is coming home at 5 am and he is okay with his 19 year old son worrying the entire evening. I find it extremely odd that he's making comments to you like:

In fact here he is banking on his 19 year old son to be a responsible guardian. Hell If you were less responsible at this age this could have some serious repercussions for both you and your sister.

MildLittlRain − NTA. Also kudos to stepmom for agreeing with you. She definetley need some structure

Holiday_Trainer_2657 − NTA. She is too wild to be living with a teenager half sibling. She needs stricter rules, like she'll have in the dorm. She may soon make friends there.

-tacostacostacos − NTA. Your sister is too young to be acting like a college student, and you’re too young to have to act like her parent.

In conclusion, this challenging situation reflects the often painful transition from adolescence to adulthood—where freedom must be balanced with responsibility. While our protagonist’s decision to relocate his sister to a dormitory may seem harsh to some, it underscores a commitment to establishing safe boundaries and promoting accountability.

The debate raises an important question: How much responsibility should one assume, and when do personal well-being and structure outweigh familial obligations? What would you do if you found yourself in a similar predicament? Share your thoughts, experiences, and advice in the comments below.

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