AITA for asking my neighbor to get off my property when we weren’t home over a security camera?

In an era where technology monitors our every move, even the simplest acts of trespassing can spark heated disputes. A couple, relying on their security cameras for peace of mind, was stunned to find a stranger wandering their driveway while they were away. Initially suspecting a harmless mix-up with a neighbor’s unleashed dog, the situation swiftly escalated when the man lingered on their property, prompting a direct request to leave.

The tension of recent neighborhood break-ins and personal concerns over safety had already left the couple on edge. When the stranger continued to roam despite a polite inquiry, the couple’s frustration reached its peak, leading them to firmly assert their boundaries. Their decision to ask the visitor to leave, though justified in their eyes, later incited an unexpected backlash from his wife, setting off a chain of debates on security, privacy, and neighborly respect.

‘AITA for asking my neighbor to get off my property when we weren’t home over a security camera?’

My bf (M31) and I’s (F30) house is on a corner lot with a large disconnected garage in the back with a driveway. We have a road and sidewalk to the front and left side of us, a neighbor with a fence to the right and an alleyway in the back.  While my bf and I were at work the other day we each separately got a notification from our security system that there was someone in our driveway.

When I pulled the live feed up I saw what I thought might be a neighbor who lives down the road (I’ve never actually talked to him or seen him up close so I wasn’t 100%) and his large, unleashed dog.  My first assumption was that the dog had gotten out and he was trying to get it back. However, I watched him just mosey around the side of the house with his hands in his pockets.

He was letting the dog sniff along the side of the house and then followed it all the way up our driveway to the garage. We have a fenced area between the garage and the house and the guy watched the dog wander through the ajar fence and into the backyard while standing by our garage.  He stood there for a good couple of minutes just looking into our garage and then into our covered porch.

I finally said “hello” over the speaker on the security system, and he didn’t reply. Then I asked “Is that your dog?” thinking maybe he was trying to help a loose dog and didn’t want to spook it? He answered “yes” to that. He then just kept hanging around while his dog was doing whatever in our backyard.

My boyfriend then got on the speaker and said, “Can you please get off my property?” The neighbor then went into our backyard and grabbed the dog by the collar to walk it home. That evening, I got a Facebook message from a random lady who I guess is this man’s wife. She basically chewed both of us out for “treating her husband like a criminal,” “thinking we’re better than them because we have more money,” “treating them like trash,” and

My boyfriend and I were really taken aback by this. We’ve never even had any sort of direct contact with these people. I’ll admit, we’ve both been a little on-edge due to some car break-ins in our neighborhood within the last couple of weeks and my boyfriend being bitten by a dog while on a walk.

We’ve actually been looking to move because of this. Maybe we jumped the gun on “judging” this guy. However, I feel like it’s a normal reaction to ask someone to leave when they’re just loitering around your house? Also, who just lets their dog wander around someone’s house and go into their fenced backyard? AITA?

When modern security technology catches unexpected visitors, the line between caution and confrontation can blur quickly. In this case, an alert from a security camera captured a stranger methodically strolling through the driveway and even entering a fenced backyard. Given the recent spate of local car break-ins and other unsettling neighborhood events, such vigilance is understandable—and often necessary.

The incident underscores a critical point in home security: clear boundaries are essential in protecting your property. A security expert, Mark Osborne, stresses, “It is important for homeowners to use technology to enforce property boundaries, especially when lingering strangers might signal the potential for larger security issues.” [​] His insight reminds us that a timely intervention, even if it seems abrupt, can prevent more serious incidents later on.

Moreover, experts note that community perceptions can be as volatile as personal security. While the couple’s request was a natural reaction to an unwelcome intrusion, it also opened up questions about neighborly courtesy and misunderstanding.

Many advise that when alerting someone of trespassing, it’s best to remain calm and use the situation as an opportunity to remind everyone of the importance of respecting each other’s property rights. Clear communication, coupled with video evidence, can serve as a deterrent against future offenses and provide crucial support should legal measures become necessary.

Heres what people had to say to OP:

Here are some hot takes from the Reddit community – candid and often humorous reflections on the incident: The responses span from full support for the couple’s right to secure their property to suggestions of extra caution in dealing with neighbors.

Some users point out that the man’s apparent loitering might indicate he was casing the property for a possible break-in, while others emphasize that using security footage to assert property lines is both sensible and necessary. The overall sentiment leans toward standing up for one’s home, especially when personal safety feels compromised.

BulbasaurRanch − “Thank you for confirming the identity of the man on our property this afternoon. Please let him know we don’t appreciate trespassers and will forward your communications along with footage to the authorities the next time he forgets where private property begins”. Send and wait for her next outburst.. NTA

OkSeaworthiness5072 − NTA. I don’t see how you “treated them like trash”. All you did was ask someone randomly wandering inside your property to please leave. Nobody is okay with people just walking around their homes and with their dog, at that. Not sure how much nicer you could have handled that.

TeachOfTheYear − The dog is the excuse if someone was home.

Tiny_Cardiologist263 − He was casing your house and is probably been the person involved in the break ins. Tell her thanks for confirming his identity and you will pass that information along to the police and video clip should anything happen to your property.

MossMyHeart − “He embarrassed himself by trespassing like a criminal sorry ma’am talk to your husband about your husband because he isn’t my problem, stay off my property. In the future I’ll simply call the police since you didn’t like my polite request.”. NTA

Not-a-Cranky-Panda − “treating her husband like a criminal,” You mean the man casing a house?

RangeMoney2012 − Tell her there have been a lot of break-ins in the area and the person looked like he was casing your house. Might even worth telling the Police because he might have be doing just that

grayblue_grrl − Sounds like someone casing the place..

maybe-an-ai − NTA.

Icy-Performer571 −

If you are still feeling i was out of line, I am more than happy to meet you and your husband at a neutral place to discuss this further. I can bring the video and we can ask an unbiased source what they think. How is the local police station?

You have cameras, they know you have cameras and that you monitor them. Keep the video and the email just in case, but hopefully the husband exaggerated and the wife blew it out of proportion. She got her say and will hopefully forget. If not, you have the video and message.. NTA. That is why you have those cameras

In conclusion, this story is not merely about a momentary lapse in neighborly conduct—it is a stark reminder of the evolving challenges in safeguarding one’s property in modern times. The couple’s firm stance against trespassing reflects an instinct to protect their home amid rising security concerns. Yet, the aftermath also forces us to consider the delicate balance between enforcing boundaries and maintaining community goodwill.

What would you do if you discovered an unexpected visitor on your property? Share your experiences and thoughts in the comments below, and join the conversation on finding the right blend of vigilance and neighborly respect.

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