AITAH for waking up my husband during my 36-hour labor?

Childbirth is a moment of profound transformation, where every minute feels both agonizingly long and intensely significant. For one new mom, a grueling 36-hour labor became even more overwhelming when her husband, exhausted though supportive at heart, dozed off in his hospital chair. In a state of acute physical pain and emotional vulnerability, she reached a breaking point and woke him up—an act that ignited unexpected backlash rather than the comfort she desperately needed.

The experience, painful and raw, revealed deeper cracks in the partnership. Instead of rallying by her side, her husband’s curt dismissal and claims that he, too, was tired left her feeling abandoned at a time when empathy should have been paramount. Now, back at home with their newborn, the cold shoulder he gives stands in stark contrast to the pivotal moment of childbirth, raising difficult questions about support, sacrifice, and mutual understanding in a relationship.

‘AITAH for waking up my husband during my 36-hour labor?’

Childbirth is one of the most physically and emotionally taxing experiences a person can endure. According to childbirth expert Dr. Melanie Richards, “During labor, the support of a partner can be invaluable. When that support is perceived as absent or insufficient, it can exacerbate feelings of isolation and pain.” Dr. Richards further explains that while both partners may be exhausted, the physical ordeal of giving birth carries its own unique challenges that require a heightened level of empathy and presence from loved ones.

Family therapist Dr. Laura Markham also highlights the importance of shared responsibilities during critical family moments. “In a partnership, supporting each other during times of vulnerability is essential. If one partner’s needs are overlooked, it can create long-term emotional scars and feelings of abandonment.”

In this case, the husband’s decision to prioritize his own need for rest over his partner’s intense physical and emotional distress contributed to an environment of resentment. The expert stresses that both partners should aim to balance their own well-being with the need to provide mutual support, especially during such transformative life events.

These perspectives underline that while physical exhaustion is a valid concern for anyone, the unique demands of labor necessitate a level of compassion and sacrifice that goes beyond personal comfort. The failure to extend that support can lead to feelings of betrayal and long-lasting discord.

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

Here are some unfiltered reactions from the Reddit community—voices that strongly back the new mom’s feelings. Many commenters were unanimous in stating that a partner who falls asleep during active labor is not just a minor lapse, but a fundamental lack of empathy. One user noted, “Your labor is a once-in-a-lifetime ordeal; being awakened while in excruciating pain is completely justified.”

Others highlighted that while sleep is important, dismissing the woman’s suffering and downplaying the significance of childbirth reveals a worrying lack of support. The community consensus is clear: in moments where life transforms amidst pain and joy, true support should never be optional.

Childbirth is a pivotal time when a partner’s support can make all the difference. The feelings of abandonment experienced by the new mom in this post underscore a larger issue about the roles we play during moments of crisis. When a loved one is in pain, understanding and compassion should prevail over self-preservation.

Does your partner truly understand the sacrifices required during such critical times, or should we all be holding each other to a higher standard of care? Share your experiences and thoughts on the delicate balance between personal needs and supporting the ones we love, and let’s discuss what true partnership should look like during life’s most transformative moments.