My (f26) boyfriend (m27) keeps humiliating himself at events, what can I do?
Relationships are often tested not only by romantic love but also by the behaviors that emerge in social situations. In this case, a 26-year-old woman shares her ongoing struggle with her boyfriend’s recurrent tendency to humiliate himself at public events. Despite their past connection dating back to college and a period when he promised to change after an especially volatile incident, his behavior has shown little improvement.
His actions—including insults, starting fights, and making flippant, hurtful jokes—have not only tarnished his own reputation but also left her feeling isolated from her friends and work colleagues. Now, she is forced to confront a painful reality: if she continues to stay with him, his public antics might end up wreaking even more havoc on her personal and professional life.
‘My (f26) boyfriend (m27) keeps humiliating himself at events, what can I do?’
According to relationship and behavioral experts, enduring repeated public humiliation and disruptive behavior in a partner is a significant red flag in any relationship. Dr. Felicia Morgan, a psychologist specializing in interpersonal dynamics, explains, “When one partner continually behaves in a way that alienates friends and disrupts social harmony, it’s not just a minor annoyance—it can be symptomatic of deeper emotional or behavioral issues that require serious attention.”
Dr. Morgan emphasizes that while love can motivate us to give second chances, repeated promises without measurable change can lead to long-term harm. “It’s important,” she notes, “to set clear boundaries and communicate the consequences of such behaviors. Tolerating public outbursts may indicate a dysfunctional pattern where one partner’s actions not only affect their own wellbeing but also that of the other.
Counseling or behavioral therapy should be considered, but it also requires a genuine commitment to change.” In light of this, experts advise that prioritizing one’s social and emotional network is critical, especially if the erratic behavior begins to isolate you from your support system. While empathy is essential in any relationship, it should not come at the cost of your own mental health and stability.
These are the responses from Reddit users:
Reddit commenters have largely been unsympathetic to the boyfriend’s behavior. Many argue that his repeated public outbursts and insults are not minor quirks but a persistent pattern that significantly affects everyone around him, including his partner. Multiple users have insisted that his inability to control his anger or to take responsibility for his actions is unacceptable.
They warn that if he continues down this path, not only will he further alienate those around him, but his behavior may ultimately force his partner to leave in order to preserve her own social and professional relationships.
Several comments also highlight that promises to change are meaningless without sustained and demonstrable improvement. The consensus is that while it’s painful to consider ending a long-term relationship, protecting oneself from the negative impact of a partner’s behavior is vital.
In conclusion, this situation raises a critical question: When love is overshadowed by destructive behavior, how long should one wait for change before deciding to move on? It’s clear that repeated public humiliation and an ongoing pattern of unacceptable behavior have taken a toll—not only on the boyfriend’s reputation but also on his partner’s quality of life.
Is it fair to remain tethered to someone who repeatedly disregards how their actions hurt others? How do you balance compassion with self-respect when a loved one refuses to change despite clear dealbreakers?
Have you or someone you know ever faced a similar dilemma where the only recourse was to set firm boundaries or ultimately leave for your own wellbeing? Share your thoughts, experiences, and any advice you may have for those in similar situations.
