AITA for wanting to Break up over my Girlriends drunk mistake?

In every relationship, moments of vulnerability can sometimes reveal deeper fractures than what meets the eye. In this story, a serious miscalculation during a night of heavy drinking becomes the breaking point for a long-term relationship. The narrative highlights not only the complications of alcohol-fueled confusion but also the painful reality of a broken trust that changes everything.

This account exposes the raw interplay of emotions when honesty collides with betrayal. The 28-year-old boyfriend finds himself unable to overlook the incident—seeing it as a glaring sign of deeper issues. Although his girlfriend insists it was a mistake born of drunken confusion, the incident stokes fears about infidelity and irreparable damage, forcing him to confront the painful truth about their future.

‘AITA for wanting to Break up over my Girlriends drunk mistake?’

My girlfriend (26F) and I (28M) have been dating for about two years. We’ve always had a strong, loving relationship, and I thought we were heading towards something serious. A few days ago, she went out with her friends to celebrate a friend’s birthday. I had to work late and couldn’t join them, but I told her to go and have fun.

I trusted her completel,never had any doubts that she’d be safe with her friends. The next day, she came over to my place looking really upset. I thought something bad had happened to her or her friends. We sat down, and she told me she needed to confess something. My heart sank because I could tell it was serious, but I had no idea what was coming.

She explained that she got really drunk that night,way more than usual. While she was at the bar, she saw a guy who looked just like me. In her drunken state, she thought it was me and went up to him. She called out my name, and he just smiled and started talking to her. So, she ended up spending the rest of the night with this guy, thinking it was me.

She kept calling him by my name, and apparently, he never corrected her. They danced, talked, and left the bar together. She said she was convinced it was me even when they left. (This is where my heart actually stopped.) It wasn’t until she woke up the next morning in a stranger’s bed that she realized it wasn’t me.

She was horrified, left quickly, and came over to confess everything. She was crying and said she never meant to cheat on me and that it was a horrible mistake because she genuinely thought she was with me the whole time. I’m in dispute with myself, On one hand, I get that she was drunk and confused, but on the other hand, she still ended up sleeping with someone else.

It hurts so much to think about, even though she says she thought it was me. I love her, but I’m struggling to see how I can trust her again after this. AITA for thinking about breaking up over this? iam pretty insecure when it comes to trust and cheating inside a relationship but She still cheated, even if it was in her vulnerable state.

She was still honest about it and seems to regret it deeply but iam not sure. Plus, her friends were there and knew me, they could’ve stepped in or done something.

Letting a single lapse in judgment become the wedge between two people can be a hard pill to swallow. In this case, the boyfriend’s decision to end the relationship stems from the belief that the breach of trust—regardless of the circumstances—indicates a fundamental flaw in their connection. At its heart, the issue isn’t only about a drunken mistake; it is about the implicit agreement of loyalty that both partners must honor.

Analyzing the incident further, one sees that alcohol can sometimes blur the lines of perception, but it does not absolve one of personal accountability. The girlfriend’s claim of mistaking another man for her boyfriend raises serious questions about her self-awareness and judgment in vulnerable moments. Instead of a genuine accident, such actions can be interpreted as a warning sign of emotional unavailability or deeper relationship issues that have long been ignored, inevitably cracking the foundation of trust.

Broader studies on relationships reveal that the transition from minor mistakes to major breaches of trust can be abrupt and unforgiving. Research from leading relationship experts indicates that even when alcohol is involved, the choices made while impaired carry the weight of their impact on long-term compatibility and emotional security. The expectation is that even under stress, one maintains a certain standard of responsibility—failure to do so can lead to a domino effect of eroded trust and constant tension.

According to relationship expert Dr. John Gottman from The Gottman Institute, “Infidelity is not just about the act itself, but the betrayal of trust that underpins any meaningful relationship”. This perspective reinforces that a single breach, especially one involving deception—even if unintentional due to inebriation—can leave lasting scars. The expert stresses that recovery is possible only when both partners are willing to confront and rebuild trust through open, honest dialogue and consistent accountability.

In light of these considerations, it becomes clear that the boyfriend’s decision is driven by an underlying need to preserve his emotional well-being. Advice drawn from relationship counseling suggests that when trust is shattered, repairing it requires much more than apologies; it demands a commitment to transparency and gradual rebuilding of respect.

For those facing similar dilemmas, seeking professional guidance or couples counseling can provide actionable steps toward healing, whether that means working through the betrayal or acknowledging that the relationship no longer serves both parties.

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

The Reddit community largely agrees on the importance of trust. Many users express skepticism about the girlfriend’s story, calling it unrealistic that she could mistake another man for her long-term partner when so clearly impaired. While some comments inject humor, the consensus is that loyalty matters and that friends should have intervened. In short, when trust is broken—even under the influence—the damage can be too deep to repair, and ending the relationship might be the best choice.

Potential-Judgment-9 − NTA. Bruh .. That story ain’t it

ModeDue7021 − NTA. That story doesn't make sense. Think about it like this, what's more likely, she was so drunk that she spent the entire night with another man, calling him your name, and not one of her friends correcting her or she knew exactly what she was doing and is now trying to tell you a story that makes her cheating seem less hurtful by telling you she it was you.. Sorry dude but I'm not buying it.

Namrahc − I have been drunk and seen plenty of people drunk. Never once have I seen someone so drunk they confuse someone for someone else for HOURS. Not even including the going with him and sleeping with him.

She got drunk, thought he was cute and slept with him, felt guilty, and decided to spin some ridiculous BS story in hopes that you would forgive her. If you do, she will use this in the future again since she knows it will work.. NTA, but you should definitely end it with her.

Ok_Structure4685 − NTA, And none of her friends stopped her, and said,

Cut the crap and leave her. At this point, do you think you would feel comfortable if she said one of her friends is having a bachelorette party? Would you feel at ease watching her go? This is already dead, whether she's lying or not.

EverythingsStupid321 − It wasn’t until she woke up the next morning in a stranger’s bed that she realized it wasn’t me.. Did she think you f**king moved? How did she not realize she wasn't at your place?. *If* this is real she is lying her ass off.

Far-Season-695 − And what did her friends say when she “thought” she saw “you” Did all of them just say “yup that’s your bf”. I don’t buy that

WeaverofW0rlds − NTA. It wasn't a drunken mistake. She decided to get drunk. She decided to put herself in that situation, and she decided to go home with that dude. At some level, at least when she got to his apartment, she would have realized it wasn't you. She made those decisions. She can't be trusted.

Lonelyheart1112022 − That is a really clever story she made up. She may felt guilty after but for god sake no one gets that drunk mistake another guy for you.. she was with her friends . Where were they ? They just let her wander off drunk talking to another guy and leaving with him? It’s not their fault but come on.

If her story is “true” I would go up to her and tell her hey girl that’s not Joe , it’s a random dude . I think you have every right to breaking up with her , she broke a trust . Some can be forgiven . If you think cheating once is okay and want to work it out .. then go ahead but if you think anytime she goes out with friends with out you . Is she going to get s**t face and do that again ?

Practical_Apple2335 − What 26 year old thinks anyone is buying that?

AlwaysHelpful22 − She is a liar, a cheater and an AH. What she did was intentional. She disrespected you by cheating and then lying to your face. Yo will never be at peace with this woman and definitely should break up.

In conclusion, the incident portrayed in the post challenges us to question where we draw the line between human error and betrayal. Though the girlfriend argues that her actions were the result of a confusing, inebriated state, the profound loss of trust experienced by her boyfriend leaves little room for reconciliation. What would you do if faced with a similar situation? Share your experiences, thoughts, and insights on how best to navigate the murky waters of trust and vulnerability in relationships.

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