AITA For Freezing My BIL’s Number, Stopping His Business Cold?

In a twist where modern technology collides with personal vendettas, a family feud unfolds in the most unexpected way—a phone number becomes the battleground. This isn’t your typical divorce drama; it’s a high-stakes standoff over a cell plan that’s been in the family for nearly two decades. With emotions running high and the stakes tied to a lifetime of personal and business connections, this incident transforms an ordinary domestic dispute into a full-blown digital duel. The morning sun casts a revealing light on the chaos of a household split, where deep-seated resentments mingle with a protective instinct.

Determined to shield her sister from ongoing heartache, one sister steps up to wield control over a critical piece of communication. In doing so, she not only challenges the ex-husband’s business foundations but also sends a clear message about accountability. The stage is set for a clash where personal loyalty and legal boundaries are pushed to their limits.

‘AITAH For holding my soon-to-be-former brother in law’s phone number hostage?’

A few months ago, my sister confided in me that she believed her husband was cheating on her. We made plans to find out for sure, and long story short, he was caught red handed. My sister is pursuing divorce and my soon to be former brother in law is fighting it tooth and nail. She wants him out of the house and he refuses to leave.

And the kicker is, he has still been in contact with his affair partner! My sister has been distraught watching this ass going goo-goo eyes over his phone to his side piece in their home. Now here's the thing. I am the account holder for the family cell plan. Both my sister and the j**kass are on the plan. So with my sister's blessing... I suspended his phone line.

This made him BIG MAD. He uses his cell for work and to run his business. He stomped and yelled and threatened but I kept that thing OFF and refused to reinstate service. So he took his phone and went off and created his own account. However, they are unable to port his number without MY authorization.

The guy has had this phone number for close to 20 years. It's the number that is on all his business cards and paid adverts. It's the number that all of his clients and colleagues have. The number all his family and friends have memorized. He came to our house enraged. My husband met him out in the yard and BIL was screaming at the top of his lungs over it.

I called the cops. My husband calmed him down. Cops came, and told BIL to leave and not come back unless invited. BIL has been in contact with my husband and begging for me to authorize the port. My husband says that maybe I should to just end all the drama and be a bigger person.

I told my husband he could let the j**kass know that isn't happening until he is out of my sister's home and not for less than $2500. But I fully admit that I am in protective big sister mode. I'm not thinking clearly through all the rage I have for the j**kass that hurt my sister.. Is refusal to port the phone number a step to far?

When emotions soar high in family disputes, the misuse of technology can rapidly escalate conflicts. In this scenario, holding a phone number hostage—a crucial asset for nearly 20 years—illustrates how digital control can be weaponized in a personal battle. The protective sister, acting with her sister’s blessing, shut down the service, directly impacting her soon-to-be-former brother-in-law’s professional life and personal connections. This decisive move, while seemingly justified as a way to punish deceit and safeguard a loved one, raises significant questions about digital boundaries and ethical intervention.

A closer look reveals that managing shared technology accounts in family settings requires clear rules and mutual respect. The sister’s actions, though rooted in the desire to protect her sibling from further emotional harm, showcase a complex interplay between legality and personal vengeance. In such high-tension situations, experts highlight that establishing firm boundaries often helps prevent longer-term emotional and financial damage.

For instance, relationship expert Brené Brown has noted, “Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves even when we risk disappointing others.” Her words emphasize that while protecting one’s emotional well-being is essential, one must also consider the broader implications of using digital means to settle family scores.

In this case, suspending a phone line might be seen as an extreme measure, especially considering that the account is legally managed by the family. However, the action was taken with explicit support from the aggrieved party and only to leverage conditions for a fair separation. While the brother-in-law’s business and reputation are adversely affected, the decision pivots on the absence of any formal agreement governing communication rights within the family plan.

Ultimately, experts would advise weighing the long-term consequences of such digital enforcements, ensuring that protective measures do not evolve into tools for ongoing retribution. Maintaining clarity on legal entitlements and emotional boundaries may help defuse the current standoff, paving the way for a resolution that respects both personal integrity and digital rights.

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

Here are some hot takes from the Reddit community—candid, humorous, and packed with opinions on a digital standoff turned family drama. Popular opinions largely back the protective sister’s use of control over the shared phone number, emphasizing that actions speak louder when the underlying betrayal hurts deeply.

Yet, some voices caution about the potential long-term fallout, questioning if the method might fuel further confrontations instead of mending wounds. Do these digital decisions truly reflect justice, or are they simply modern-day acts of retribution?

JackTaylorKyree − NTA. That’s some petty revenge and I’m here for it. He fafo’d and is making your sister’s life a living hell. Consider it a karmic b**ch slap.

K_A_irony − NTA but your sister needs to play the long game. IF his business is impacted, his income is impacted. This would lower the amount of support he owes (if they have kids) or even might make her have to pay him money palimony due to income discrepancy (or reduce her alimony if she qualifies)

Due_Status_9031 − So BIL ran a business on a number he didn't own (and couldn't write off)?. A true financial wizzer.

Bibliophile_w_coffee − NTA. I believe FAFO is the term that best fits.

[Reddit User] − NTA, legally you own the device, number and account. You financed the device under your credit and it’s technically in the eyes of the laws, yours.

Horror_Craft628 − NTA. He should have had his work phone number on his own account. Does your sister have children with this person? If so, I wouldn’t drag out too much since he can be an ass regarding the kids. If he doesn’t, then, I would ask your sister what she wants in exchange - it should be reasonable.

2ugly2say − I'd say he could have the number after court documents are signed that your sister gets everything but his business... house, cars, alimony... the absolute works! 

Far_Information_9613 − NTA. He can have it when he moves out. I wouldn’t charge him though. On the other hand you do want him making money.

RJack151 − NTA. He spit on the hand that was helping him. He can get a new number or meet your demands.

The_Bad_Agent − NTA. This is a FAFO moment. Enjoy it.

In conclusion, this story of a phone number held hostage underscores the complicated nature of family loyalty and digital boundaries in an age of instant connection. When personal betrayal meets technological control, where does accountability lie, and how far can one go to protect a loved one?

Is this a justified tactic in defense of family, or does it set a dangerous precedent for digital vendettas? What would you do if faced with a scenario where family ties and technology collide in such a dramatic fashion? Share your thoughts and experiences—the conversation is just getting started.

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