SECOND UPDATE: AITA for leaving thanksgiving dinner without exploitation after seeing my ex there?

At a recent Thanksgiving gathering that already promised an emotional roller coaster, one young woman found herself once again at the center of relational drama. After leaving her best friend’s dinner abruptly upon seeing her ex on that fateful day, she had spent weeks grappling with the fallout and silence that followed.

Now, a surprising development has compelled her to revisit the past. In a meeting arranged by her ex best friend, known as Madison, she is forced to confront not only unresolved feelings about the previous incident but also startling revelations regarding Madison’s relationship with her ex, Aiden.

This update recounts the latest turn of events in a complicated story of past relationships, broken trust, and shifting alliances. With names like Madison, Aiden, and Mason now in the mix, the narrative unfolds as the woman seeks clarity while protecting her emotional well-being. Her decision to finally seek out answers at a local café marks another chapter in her ongoing struggle to regain control over painful memories and questionable friendships.

For those who want to read the previous part: Original post, update

‘SECOND UPDATE: AITA for leaving thanksgiving dinner without exploitation after seeing my ex there?’

Hey everyone, I'm back again with another updaye. But first, Imma give them some names. Madison (ex bsf), Aiden (ex bf) and Mason (ex bsf's brother). Hopefully y'all don't get confused or mixed up by these three. Also, the reason why I couldn't update or post sooner was because I rlly didn't have anything to update on.

Ok soooo... In my last post, I said that I might have to talk to Mason to get answers but well, things didn't go as planned. Basically, his sister was the one to reach out first. Yeah, my ex bsf, the girl sveryone suspected was dating my ex. I'm not saying that I didn't suspect her dating him aswell but I can't say that I fully did either..)

Madison unblocked me from everywhere (I think) and messaged me nesrly 5 days ago, asking if we could meet up and have a talk. If I'm being honest, when I first saw her message my heart skipped a beat and it took me a few moments to process/realize if it was really her.

No because, yk that one feeling when someone you haven't heard from in months or maybe even years, suddenly text you out of the blue? Yeah, THAT feeling. I agreed because well, i REALLY wanted to know whether she and Aiden were dating or not. That thought was eating my brain. Earlier today we met at a regular cafe.

We sat awkwardly in front of each other for a few moments that felt like hours. and then she started initiating small talks with me, asking how I've been and if I'm doing okay (no honey I've been MISERABLE.). I didn't say much and got to the point. I told her to tell me the truth and not dare lie about it. didn't say anything at first but then said "Mmh, okay".

I first asked her about aiden and why was he there despite her knowing how much I hated and resent him in the first place. She let out a huge sigh like she just lost a whole competition and then said that she "hoped" that we'll reconcile eventually and forget about the past. (No way..) I just nodded, looked her in the eyes and then said "Are you and Aiden dating?" she just stared at me.

Like deep in my soul. I didn't know what to do so I asked again. She tried avoiding that question by looking away and staying silent. It didn't stop me though, i told her "if you don't answer me, consider this the last time you'll ever talk to me. Let alone see me." (I would've left either way). Dear redditors... After some back and forth she admitted to it.

They're dating. Continuing on, she looked at me and I could hearthe hesitation in her voice. She confirmed it, I asked for how long and she legit said a little over a year. ...Girl?.. No, I was for real shocked and speechless. I was like what the f**k? And on top of that, she just casually said it.. I decided to leave because I couldn't do it no more.

I was disgusted and disappointed in her and I told her that. Her eyes started weiling up with tears and then she started begging me to hear her out first but I couldn't even look at her. Then, she started full on crying so I just left her there. Omw home, I blocked her and her brother on everything.

I know I didn't share why me and my ex broke up or what happened between us and I don't think that I'll ever will because for me, I want to keep it private and it's still traumatic. I might share some details about it in the future. Maybe, maybe not. But I reassure you that it was really really bad.

This may not be the update y'all hoped for but hopefully it is in the next one. If smth else happened, I'll keep you updated. One last thing, if I didn't answer some of y'all s comments, im either busy, sleeping or at work. Tysm for the support 🤍. Edit: Sorry everyone for the spelling mistakes and typos. Hopefully it won't happen again!

The OP’s dropped an update on the saga—curious? Click here to check it out!

Family therapist Dr. Elena Morales asserts that unresolved betrayal within close friendships can often trigger re-traumatization during significant social gatherings. “When someone discovers that a trusted friend has not only withheld the truth but also engaged in a secret relationship with an ex-partner, it can lead to a cascade of emotional pain and erode any remnants of trust,” Dr. Morales explains.

Her advice emphasizes the importance of clear and honest communication, particularly when dealing with emotional triggers from past relationships. Dr. Morales further recommends that in situations where a friend’s betrayal has deeply wounded one’s trust, it may be necessary to step back and seek professional guidance before deciding to repair or sever the relationship.

In this case, the woman’s decision to leave the meeting without explanation reflects her need to protect her own emotional boundaries. “Closure comes not from forcing explanations in the heat of a moment, but from a calm, reflective process that might even involve mediation or individual counseling,” Dr. Morales adds.

The therapist’s insights point to the potential long-term effects of such betrayals, suggesting that unresolved feelings might spill over into future relationships. As both parties navigate the fragile terrain of reconciliation or final separation, prioritizing mental health and honest dialogue becomes paramount. Her professional recommendation is for individuals caught in such emotional crossfires to focus on self-care and, if needed, seek support from trusted mental health professionals to rebuild trust and regain peace.

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

The online community has reacted strongly to this update, with many expressing sympathy for the woman’s ongoing distress. Commenters noted that Madison’s actions—involving secret dating with Aiden—represent a profound betrayal, particularly when layered on top of the previous Thanksgiving incident.

Many suggested that her decision to leave without further discussion was understandable, given the layers of hurt and mistrust involved. Meanwhile, a number of voices advised that confronting the issues with clear, direct communication—or even professional mediation—might be necessary if any semblance of the former friendship is to be salvaged. The prevailing opinion, however, is that the weight of the betrayal justifies her choice to cut ties.

FlygonosK − Well you got it why she blocked you, also the b.s. of she wanting you to R with him, how cynical of her after she dating him for almost a year, that is absurd and you are doing right by cutting her from your life, you trully didn't need her for the last months i doubt you need her from here on out,

she can s**ew the ex and receive the same treatmet you receive from him, and when she came crawling back for your forgiveness, just shut the door on her face. She doesn't deserve any from you. Also i would advice to expose her to the rest of the friends and your sister.

For them to know why she blocked you in the first place and maybe others. This is not for revenge, this is:. a) for you to keep out of her reach the control of the narrative, b) to find out who or which others of the friends group knew and didn't tell you, so you know there who you can count on.. Good luck.

Huckleberry0_ − Oh boy, talk about a Thanksgiving dinner that turned into a soap opera! I mean, who knew family gatherings could double as reality TV? Next time, just bring popcorn instead of mashed potatoes.

Inner-Worldliness943 − The trash and the trash can belong with each other. They'll only end up ruining each other more. Especially if the reason for your breakup becomes known (and is as bad as you say) and gets accompanied by the fact that she knew about it the whole time.. Leave them behind and enjoy life 🫡

grayblue_grrl − What was going through her head to think this could ever work in her favour?. People are insane. Thinking they can betray you and it's all okay. No big deal.. NTA

dheffe01 − Still NTA, I would send her a final "Do not contact me ever again, and when he starts treating you like he did me, you can't say you didn't know what he was like."

Ok_Passage_6242 − Wait when you say traumatic. Are you talking about something the police should’ve been called about or something super fucked up? I don’t want you to go into details that you don’t want to. I just wanted to understand the rest of your story.. I’m still on your side though and f**k your stupid f**king friend. I hope she gets everything she deserves.

Graphite57 − A lot of Ex's in that story and it seems every one of them is justified to take that label.. NTA

DeviceStrange6473 − I suspected they we're dating behind your back! No true friend would let him in the house even. So she tested the waters to see, if you'd care ? Thinking it'll be no problem, you'll get along anyway! Now she told the truth, so you can write off both of them for good.

Do not ever take her back as a friend,  if this goes sideways with him. Betrayal trust are forever gone! Hope this really backfires on her , picking horrible ex over you!  Glad you have a good decent guy to keep moving on with! Great move leaving her crying, by the way! Proud of you, OP UPDATEME 

Jokester_316 − You got your closure. Nothing is left to be said. Now you can let YOUR friends and family know the truth.

Effective-Hour8642 − I was hoping you were going to say to her, "WHY would I ever trust you as a "friend" again? Find your own "man" next time. I'm not doing it for you." I do like your style of leaving her there crying. WTF was she expecting, rainbow's and Unicorn's? Have you heard anything from others?

In conclusion, this second update deepens the complications of an already fraught situation, as hidden relationships and past wounds resurface during what should be a time of gratitude and familial togetherness. The revelations that Madison is now dating Aiden have not only validated the pain felt during the initial Thanksgiving fallout but have also forced a reckoning with issues of trust and transparency among friends.

With emotions still raw and the promise of reconciliation long faded, readers are left to ponder how far one should go to salvage a friendship marred by repeated betrayals. What would you do when faced with the painful revelation of deception by someone you once trusted implicitly? Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below—let’s start a conversation about trust, boundaries, and the true meaning of friendship.

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