AITAH for posting the phone number of every flying monkey that tries to get me to talk to my mom?

Family dynamics can become especially complicated when past wounds resurface at life’s most significant events. For one groom-to-be, the pain of being abandoned by his mother since childhood has left lasting scars. Despite growing up under his father’s care and even experiencing love from extended family, his mother’s sudden attempts to re-enter his life—just as he was preparing to get married—reopened old wounds. He had already set firm boundaries by inviting her only as a guest, yet she pushed further for a deeper role, igniting a fierce internal conflict.

Caught between unresolved hurt and the pressure to maintain family appearances, he found himself overwhelmed by her relentless calls and texts. In a bid to finally reclaim control over his life, he took matters into his own hands. When her “flying monkeys” kept trying to reach him through various phone numbers, he devised an unorthodox plan that would not only send a message but also force an end to the unwanted intrusion. His controversial response has now sparked debate over whether the cost of asserting personal boundaries was too high.

‘AITAH for posting the phone number of every flying monkey that tries to get me to talk to my mom?’

When personal trauma and unresolved family conflict collide with digital retaliation, experts warn that the outcomes can be far-reaching. Dr. Marianne Cole, a family systems therapist, explains, “Setting boundaries is crucial in any relationship, especially when past neglect or betrayal is at play. However, using public exposure or ‘scorched earth’ tactics online can sometimes lead to unintended consequences that might complicate healing further.”

Her observation—echoed by many mental health professionals—suggests that while standing up for oneself is necessary, there is also a risk of prolonging the emotional fallout through public disputes.

Dr. Cole emphasizes that genuine resolution often requires therapeutic intervention to address the deep-seated hurts rather than relying solely on punitive measures. “Digital retaliation might offer immediate relief, but it rarely repairs the underlying issues,” she adds.

By opting for a public display of defiance, he has certainly drawn a line in the sand, yet his strategy could also set a precedent for future digital reprisals within strained family relationships. Experts ultimately advise that, after establishing necessary boundaries, seeking professional help can offer a more sustainable path to emotional recovery.

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

The sentiment among Reddit users is polarized but largely supportive of his right to enforce boundaries. Many applaud him for taking a stand against a mother who abandoned him and for refusing to be manipulated by her proxies. Commenters note that when someone repeatedly ignores simple requests to stop, more drastic measures might be justified.

On the other hand, a few voices caution that the use of photos of a loved one—even with permission—as a tool of retaliation crosses a personal line. Still, the prevailing opinion is that when you continuously enable a toxic figure’s behavior, it’s within your rights to employ creative tactics to finally silence the persistent invaders.

In conclusion, this saga of digital boundary-setting highlights the challenges of reconciling past abandonment with present relationships. While some believe the retaliatory act was necessary to finally deter unwanted contact, others worry that it may have escalated tensions unnecessarily.

What do you think—when does the need to enforce personal space cross the line into overreaction? Share your experiences and thoughts below; your perspective might help others facing similarly complex family disputes.