Would it be okay/weird if I [20F] asked out the stranger [24M] who saved me from being k**napped out to dinner?

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On a moonless night, a 20-year-old student’s evening run turned terrifying when a stranger’s threat shattered the quiet trail. Alone, with her phone dead, she faced a moment of dread—until a grad student on a bike lit up the path, scaring off her attacker. His quick thinking saved her, and his kindness walked her home.

Now, safe but shaken, she’s wrestling with gratitude and a spark of admiration. Should she invite her rescuer to dinner to say thanks, or is her heart clouding her judgment? This tale of courage and connection asks: how do you thank someone who changed your story?

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‘Would it be okay/weird if I [20F] asked out the stranger [24M] who saved me from being k**napped out to dinner?’

**I'm gonna talk about how I was almost kidnapped in detail since it's actually a bit therapeutic for me to write it out but if you aren't interested in reading just skip down two paragraphs!** Five days ago, and against my best interest, I was out running at about 10pm. Our school has an open campus that is surrounded by woods and a couple of easy trails.

It can sometimes get a bit scary at night. Since my school and it's surrounding neighborhood is very safe, I don't usually worry much when I go out running alone. That particular night, my phone (which was also my flashlight) decided to die mid-run. I should've known that could happen since my phone had been having battery issues (it would die even though it was at 10-20%, smh iPhones).

That immediately set me into a panic since I was on a pretty secluded trail with very minimal lighting. I stopped running to fumble with my phone to see if it would miraculatousy turn back on but nope. I was also wearing light-reflective leggings so I was definitely visible to others.. ​ I was about to start running again when I noticed a guy approaching me.

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I hadn't noticed him prior to this but he was probably hidden in the woods next to the trail (there's like a public bathroom and a picnic table). He was smoking a cigarette and had his phone in hand and I immediately got bad vibes. By the time I realized where he even came from, he was already only a couple feet away from me where he called out, 'Miss, are you lost?'

His speech sounded a bit slurred and he reeked of cigarette smoke which led me to think that he was probably a homeless drunk living near the picnic table and public bathroom. I told him no and that I was on my way to my friend's house (despite my athletic gear lol). Then he gave me a once over, whistled, and said, 'damn girl, you look delicious! look at that ass!' and he f**king slapped my ass.

I think I yelped and immediately stepped away but he reached out and grabbed my wrist. I thought it was actually the end for me and I screamed as loud as I can but there was literally no one near me. My heart was beating out of my chest and I felt like I was going to f**king faint. He chuckled and said, 'Shut up, no one can hear you anyway.' My heart was beating out of my chest and there was so much adrenaline coursing through my body.. ​

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Thank the f**king stars for what happened next. From behind me, the trail suddenly became lit and I realized there was a biker heading my way. Then I heard him call, 'Maddie?? Is that you? Holy s**t, what are you doing out so late?' The guy muttered, 's**t' and immediately let go and began running away. The biker got closer and immediately braked and got off.

I have no f**king clue who this guy is and he doesn't know me either. He asked me if I was okay and what that guy was doing and I explained to him everything that happened and almost got on my knees to thank him. He looked just as freaked out as me. He asked where I live and I told him I was a student at \[name of college\] and he told me that he's a grad student at the same school.

He also immediately took of his sweatshirt and gave it to me to wear since I was only in a tank top. He then walked me all the way back to my house (around 2 miles). One the way, he tried to ask me about school and stuff but I was a bit too frazzled to give any sensible response so he mostly talked about himself.

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He told me he was a second-year CS student at the engineering school. He likes to cook, his favorite show is the Office, he enjoys playing basketball but he sucks, he works part time at Google, and more stuff I can't remember. He also gave me his email and number and told me that if I needed him to talk with the police/file a report to just shoot him a message or call.

He apologized for what happened and said that he was glad I was safe. I thanked him a billion more times and went home.. ​The next day, I texted him and thanked him again and also went and filed a police report. But I feel like I can't thank him enough. He literally saved my life. Without a doubt, if he just kept biking or didn't see me, I would've been possibly killed.

I don't know how I can show my gratitude. I really want to take him out to dinner...but would that be weird? I also have to return his sweatshirt. I'm also a bit infatuated by him?. ​ Do you guys think that's a good idea or is there anything else I can do to show my gratitude? If I do go about asking him to dinner, what should I say? Should I call or text?. ​

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Btw, I know a lot of you are going to ask if I'm planning on seeing a therapist and the answer is yes, I've already booked an appointment. Although I think I'm dealing with it pretty well and have mostly put it behind me, I know that it is for the best that I see a therapist for a bit.. ​

TL;DR: I was almost kidnapped and a complete stranger, who turned out to be a grad student at my school, saved me. He walked me all the way back to my house and gave me his number and email for if I needed anything. I want to ask him out to dinner as a sign of gratitude. Should I?

The OP’s dropped an update on the saga—curious? Click here to check it out!

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A stranger’s heroism turned a nightmare into a story of survival, but this young woman’s next steps are layered with complexity. Her desire to thank her rescuer with dinner reflects deep gratitude, yet her admitted infatuation raises questions about her motives. The grad student’s actions—offering his sweatshirt, walking her home—show genuine care, but her emotional high from the rescue could blur platonic and romantic lines.

This scenario taps into a broader phenomenon: intense experiences can spark “misattribution of arousal,” where adrenaline fuels perceived attraction. Psychologist Dr. Arthur Aron notes, “Shared intense experiences can create rapid emotional bonds.” Her feelings may stem from the rescue’s intensity rather than true romance, as Reddit users cautioned. A dinner invite is fine but should be framed clearly as gratitude to avoid misunderstanding.

To proceed, she could text a simple message: “Hey, I’d love to treat you to dinner to say thanks for helping me. Are you free?” Returning his sweatshirt in person keeps it casual. Therapy, which she’s pursuing, will help process the trauma and clarify her emotions.

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These are the responses from Reddit users:

Reddit chimed in with humor, caution, and encouragement, weighing the line between gratitude and infatuation. Here’s what they said:

thesoak − Plot twist: The two guys are actually running a white-knight pick up artist scam to score gratitude dinners from vulnerable young coeds. :p. Just kidding, take him out. I'd bet he's down, since he gave you his contact info. 'Yeah, for the police report, you know...'

Coolrb10 − If its just as a gratitude thing then no it isn’t weird and you should go for it! But if it has anything to do with you having some sort of feelings towards him, give it two weeks. And if you have the same feelings about him then. Then yes go for it! Things like this is hard because he saved you.

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So you might just be infatuated with the fact that he’s the reason you survived that night and not actually with who he is actually. Think to yourself that if you saw him at a coffee shop in line and you had the same conversation about school and everything would you feel the same way you do right now?

StarstruckQT − Wow I’m sorry that happened to you and I’m glad you’re safe! It’s not weird at all, go ahead and hit him up for that dinner, he sounds like a really good guy. I hope you’re able to get past this and nothing like this happens again, how horrible!

[Reddit User] − This is like the plot of a romance novel.... I'm glad you're okay OP. Go get that heroic penis.

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WorksAtSewenEwevan − This is almost exactly how a married couple I know met!

QUESO0523 − I'd give him a quick status update as your 'in'. Tell him you went to the police and all. Tell him you're very thankful and if he's up for it you'd like to take him to lunch or dinner as your way of saying thanks and tell him you want to return his shirt. Giving him the option for lunch will make it feel less 'romantic' and less likely to be misinterpreted as a date.

Bot_Metric − 2.0 miles ≈ 3.2 kilometres ^(1 mile = 1.61km).

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bearantulas − Do it, he will tell you no if he feels weird. Plus I bet he realized you went inside wearing his sweatshirt. He could have asked for it back then, or he could have let you wear it knowing he’s open to seeing/talking to you again later.. Sounds likely a really nice guy, let us know how it goes.

ace_of_sppades − He also gave me his email and number and told me that if I needed him to talk with the police/file a report to just shoot him a message or call.. Yeah for the police report.... Sure ask him out for dinner call or text is fine. won't be weird.

jakesmom1 − His favorite show is “The Office?” He’s a winner in my book, haha!. On a serious note, glad he was around and that you are okay!

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These Reddit takes are lively, but do they strike the right balance? Is dinner a sweet gesture, or should she wait to sort her feelings?

This woman’s brush with danger and rescue by a kind stranger is a testament to human decency, but her next move—dinner?—teeters between gratitude and something more. With therapy on the horizon, she’s taking steps to heal, but the spark of admiration lingers. How do you thank a hero without letting emotions cloud the gesture? Share your thoughts below—have you ever owed someone a debt of gratitude, or navigated feelings born from a crisis?

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