WIBTAH if i dont wear a fake engagement ring on a family vacation?

A 24-year-old woman dreams of moving to Australia to become a herpetologist, inspired by dangerous animals shows since childhood. Her family agrees to a month-long vacation there to experience the lifestyle together – an amazing opportunity before any big move.

Her supportive boyfriend of similar age suggests she wear a fake engagement ring during the trip. He worries locals in her dream area might hit on her if they think she’s single. Despite no proposal yet – they’re not financially ready – he buys a huge ring and insists, even involving his mom when she refuses.

WIBTAH if i dont wear a fake engagement ring on a family vacation?

The excitement built around this once-in-a-lifetime family trip to Australia.

Hi everyone! So to get into it I (24F) have been wanting to move to Australia. I love reptiles and since watching “72 most dangerous animals australia” when i was...

I want to be a herpetologist, but before i move and commit my life to being far away from home my family agreed to go one a month long vacation...

this is wonderful, but the issue arises because my boyfriend (25 M), lets call him Dan, asked me to wear a fake engagement ring while on said vacation with my...

For context, Dan fully supports me moving to Australia and has said he will come with me if I choose to do so.

The ring idea stemmed from his concerns about her being away.

My issue is, Dan has not proposed. We have talked about being married and having children, but he said it would be in the future just not right now as...

He wants me to wear the ring because the area we are going on vacation is where I want to live and he “doesnt want to locals to think they...

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Things escalated one evening during a casual chat.

Tonight we were watching the MLB Wildcard series (go Red Sox) and I brought up how excited I am for my trip and Dan said “wait I have something for...

and runs to our room and brings out a HUGE ring (bigger than what I want in the future). i told him i do not want to wear the ring...

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and we got into an argument. This turned into him sleeping on the couch and his mother texting me telling me “its not a big deal if it makes him...

She wrestled with the fallout and her feelings.

I love Dan, more than anything, and i do want to marry him, but I feel like putting on a ring before actually having a ring is gross?

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I feel like im in the wrong because his family doesnt see it as a big deal and are telling me its not a big deal, while i am making...

I really dont want to fight over this, so do i just suck it up and put on the fake ring and try to explain it to my family, or...

Side note: I havent told my family or friends about this because they LOVE Dan, to the point my father calls him son and my mom texts him a good...

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I dont want to ruin their relationship, but im not sure how to navigate this. I also dont want to rush him into an engagement over this, he deserves to...

This situation touches on trust and control in relationships. His request comes from insecurity – fearing other men might approach her abroad – but it overlooks her ability to handle attention herself. Asking her to fake an engagement without committing feels unfair, like wanting the benefits of exclusivity without the step.

From his side, distance and a new environment might amplify worries, especially supporting her dream move. Involving his mom escalates things oddly for adults, suggesting boundary issues.

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Relationship therapists often note that true security comes from trust, not symbols. Dr. John Gottman emphasizes bids for connection – here, his bid feels rooted in fear rather than partnership. Healthy couples discuss insecurities openly without demands that misrepresent reality.

Solutions could include reassuring talks about fidelity, setting boundaries on family involvement, or compromising on a simple band if safety concerns arise – but not faking engagement. Standing firm respectfully protects her authenticity while inviting deeper trust-building.

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

Most online voices slammed the idea hard, spotting insecurity and control.

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bloodcached − NTA. An engagement ring symbolizes that you're engaged. The fake engagement ring symbolizes that he doesn't trust you.

Your_Daddy_1972 − NTA If he wants you to wear an engagement ring, there's an obvious way to make that happen

greyhounds4life1969 − NTA, there's two huge red flags here: 1: His controlling behaviour and his insecurity 2: Running to Mummy to get her on his side. Are you sure you...

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OhMorgoth − NTA. He wants you to wear a ring because he is insecure because “he doesn’t want locals to think they have a chance. ” I think this goes...

chiorgirl25 − NTA! !! If he wants to marry you he should propose. If he can’t afford the ring he wants, the least he can do is get you a...

and your family about his intentions. Putting a fake ring on your finger to “stake his claim” is gross and pathetic controlling behavior.

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Some highlighted deeper problems while urging caution.

[Reddit User] − If he wants to put a ring on it, he should properly put a ring on it. Being engaged doesn't cost money. That ring he just bought...

if it truly meant you were promised to be married. As it is, he's just showing you he doesn't trust you, and puts his trust in other men seeing a...

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QuixoticQuidam − What makes you going to Australia any different than going out at home, if people want to make a pass then they will with or without that ring.

He's being ridiculous about this, if a ring on your finger mattered so much to him he should have given you one by now. Also why is he bringing his...

Is this really what you want to deal with? He has some more growing up to do before he is anywhere near ready to talk marriage or kids.

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Knapp_theshortsleep − Get rid of Dan. I had an ex with serious trust issues. I once went out for dinner with my coworkers for one of their birthdays.

He asked me what I would do if someone tried to hit on me/touch me when I was out. I said I would politely turn them down saying I was...

His expectation was that I would turn down advances by saying I had a boyfriend. We also got into a huge row about attending a game night at a friends...

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I had put on makeup for the occasion, which was not unusual for an evening social activity, but also not an every time thing.

He accused me of wearing it because of the single guys in the friend group was going to present. All this to say, if Dan doesn’t trust you to speak...

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and decline romantic advances out in the wild, the relationship has a fundamental issue (likely mostly on his end). You need to be very firm in your boundary on him...

UndeadArmoire − NTA He wants you to staple a ‘OWNED BY DAN’ sign on your ass without Dan actually doing any of the things that gives him a claim.

It’s also gross that he, apparently, thinks his sign is more valid than, ya know, \*your opinion\*. Why does it matter if the locals think they have a chance? You’re...

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It’s not like someone hitting on you means they get an instant free access pass. This is 100% weird and disrespectful.

I think there’s deeper dynamic issues about respect, expectation, and ownership. You need to hammer those out and clear the air or this relationship is going to sour.

Antique_Quantity6463 − Wow this blew up and thank you all so much for it! !! I have read all the comments and im responding to messages as fast as I...

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and I have written down some good comments to add to the conversation. i promise you guys an update when i talk to him in the future. AGAIN THANK YOU...

Others went further, questioning the future.

SorryPet − "If you want me to look like I'm engaged to be married, you're going to have to *actually* propose. Just like I won't fake my o__asms to make...

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Emergency_Cherry_914 − Lots of excellent answers. But may I add that if a guy wants to hit on you, an engagement ring isn't going to stop him

Cold-Kiwi2561 − Why would you want to marry someone who doesn't trust you? Don't marry this guy.

eatencrow − Hear me out: The fake engagement ring is visual p__s. He's marking you as his. The ring is a visual signifier to others: "I'm taken, I belong to...

He's going about this all wrong. If he were trying to drive you away I doubt he could do a better job of it. He's saying he doesn't trust you.

He's saying men won't take your word for it that you're not interested in them, but they will respect a ring? Gtfo with that nonsense. Don't make the mistake of...

You'll wear an engagement ring when you're engaged. His insecurities are making this into a way bigger deal than it needed to be.

It sounds like you won't have too many more chances like this to savor life and travel, before he puts you on lockdown. Go on your trip and enjoy! You'll...

InternalAggressive28 − NTA. This is bizarro on so many levels.

This fake ring request sparked huge debate, with nearly everyone agreeing it’s a major red flag for trust and control issues. Faking commitment to deter others feels off when a real one isn’t ready, and involving family amps the pressure. Her reluctance makes total sense – it’s about honesty with herself and others.

These moments test relationships early. Open talks might help, but ignoring gut feelings rarely ends well. What would you do if a partner asked you to fake an engagement for “protection”?

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