WIBTA if I went against my mom wish because of her comment about my wedding dress?
Weddings are a celebration of love and individuality, yet family expectations can sometimes clash with personal style. In this case, a bride-to-be is caught between honoring her traditional Asian family values and expressing her true self. With strict family customs and expectations in play, she chose a conservative, high-neck wedding dress to cover her tattoos—symbols of her identity—just to keep the peace.
However, she also ordered a custom, more revealing dress for the reception that proudly displays her back tattoos. This decision has ignited a conflict: while her fiancé encourages her to embrace her authentic self, her mother’s harsh comments about her look, her tattoos, and even a scar have left her heartbroken and questioning if she should defy her mom’s wishes.
‘WIBTA if I went against my mom wish because of her comment about my wedding dress?’
Relationship and cultural expert Dr. Mei Lin advises, “Weddings are about forging your own path together. While family opinions are important, it’s essential to remember that your wedding day is a celebration of you and your partner.”
Dr. Lin emphasizes that personal expression shouldn’t be stifled by outdated expectations, especially in a modern context where individuality is celebrated. She explains that tattoos and scars are more than skin deep—they represent personal history and the unique journey of self-acceptance.
“Balancing respect for family with the need to assert your individuality is challenging,” Dr. Lin adds. “It’s important to set clear boundaries so that your personal narrative isn’t overshadowed by traditional pressures.
By choosing the dress that truly represents you, you’re not only honoring your own identity but also paving the way for a more honest conversation about modern traditions versus personal freedom.” According to Dr. Lin, this approach can help transform potential conflicts into opportunities for growth and mutual understanding between generations.
Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:
Reddit users overwhelmingly support the choice to wear what makes you feel beautiful. Many argue that if your family is embarrassed by your genuine self-expression, that is their issue, not yours. Commenters have pointed out that this is your wedding day—an opportunity to celebrate love and individuality.
They suggest that you can respect tradition while still embracing your identity, perhaps by changing dresses between the ceremony and reception. The general consensus is that you should not feel pressured to conform to outdated expectations, especially when your partner and those who truly matter stand by you.
Ultimately, your wedding is a day meant to reflect the love you share with your fiancé and your journey together. Is it fair for you to sacrifice your identity just to ease your parents’ discomfort? How do you balance tradition with the freedom to express your true self?
We invite you to share your thoughts and experiences—what would you do in a similar situation? Let’s discuss how to honor family traditions while staying true to who you are.
