WIBTA If I call the police on my 13 year old son?

Parents are grappling with their 13-year-old son’s escalating thefts, including the unauthorized purchase of a $3,000 bicycle using a credit card, despite previous incidents and digital safeguards. Overwhelmed after recovering most of the money but repeatedly being denied and blamed on his younger brother, they consider police intervention.

Complicating matters is the boy’s repeated lies amid clear evidence, coupled with past behavior that hints at deeper issues, leaving the family torn between discipline and underlying issues. The question is weighing tough love against long-term damage in a desperate attempt to demand accountability.

‘WIBTA If I call the police on my 13 year old son?’

Repeated thefts began two years ago with denials even against proof.

My son (13m) has repeatedly stolen from us over the past two years. Each time he has denied it, even when we have found proof it was him. Last year...

We found it by accident when we found him on the phone, did a search of his google account, and found the card linked to it. He completely denied it...

His brother has his own phone and never uses his older brothers. There were consequences - we grounded him and took the old phone off him. The new phone is...

Recent charges revealed sophisticated attempts using family details.

Yesterday we discovered that someone had made two payments on our credit card - one for a laptop for $2000, which was declined and the other for a bike for...

The $2,000 attempted spend was at a store we use, but where we have never used the card before, hence it was declined. We went to the bike store where...

They told us the order was placed online and printed the order for it. They said that it was a click and collect order. It had my husbands name on...

They said that they phoned the number after the order was made yesterday and spoke to the person who placed the order. They said that the person was clearly a...

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Evidence mounted, yet denial persisted, prompting the police question.

We checked my son's email and there was no evidence of an order being placed, but there was evidence on his call log of a 2 minute call with the...

it opened in his safari and had his username and password saved. When we went into the account, the $2,000 computer was in the basket. Despite all the evidence against...

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His younger brother was on my laptop, in the lounge with me when the two incidents happened, so we know it was not him. My husband had left his wallet...

My eldest swears blind it was not him. This is a significant amount of money, that we cannot afford and we are very lucky to have got most of it....

Teen theft often signals unmet needs or developmental challenges, which favor therapeutic intervention over criminalization for adolescents. This pattern—escalation, denial, blaming siblings—suggests compulsion or distress beyond normal levels of rebellion, especially around age 13 when impulse control is unevenly developed. Police intervention risks traumatizing and documenting without addressing the root cause, as the juvenile system still prioritizes rehabilitation. Past consequences such as grounding are insufficient; structured therapy addresses triggers such as peer pressure or emotional voids.

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The balanced view acknowledges that financial pressures require firm boundaries, but escalation to law enforcement creates unresolved alienation. What complicates the story is parental responsibility: adults remain responsible, making restitution through the courts unlikely.

Child psychologist Dr. Ross Greene asserts in The Explosive Child, “Children will do well if they can – persistent problem behavior indicates limited skills; group problem-solving is better than punishment for lasting change.” Professional assessment guides appropriate support such as counseling or skill building.

These are the responses from Reddit users:

Many users urge therapy over police, viewing the behavior as a cry for deeper help.

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coygobbler − Info: what are you expecting the police to do? Sounds like your son needs therapy.

sinenox − Before trying to scare him, consulting a child psychologist would be your best move. They can assess the problem and guide you from there.

MollyRolls − This isn’t a police thing; this is an involve-child-services thing and see what resources they have for you and your son.

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[Reddit User] − I'm just curious what you think the police would do. He's 13 so legally it's on you, essentially, no matter what he does short of m__der. Take...

It won't get better with time, and it seems like the restrictions you set have only made him better at covering up what he's doing. And while I legitimately cannot...

They make them, and they're wonderful when they're needed. (Just make sure he doesn't get THAT info) People use this kind of software abusively so often it's sickening, but if...

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A few commenters critique parenting while recommending practical and emotional fixes.

GMUcovidta − YTA your parenting clearly isn't working, and even if you go to the police you're responsible for your son and have to pay for this stuff. Your children...

There's a reason your son is acting out you need to find out what that is. Edit: The same child has already shown pyromaniac tendencies- the fact he already isn't...

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km89 − YTA. If your kid is doing this, you have probably but not definitely (sometimes kids are just. .. bad, no other word for it) failing him as a...

I have no idea what goes on in your house, but this has a lot of the hallmarks of a kid acting out because something is seriously wrong in his...

Turned out my brother was being bullied pretty badly and needed an IEP because an undiagnosed learning disability meant going to school every day was hell, and he was jealous...

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Poekienijn − YWBTA. What do you expect them to do? This is not something they can solve. First make sure he cannot use your cards again. I use a double...

Secondly: make him pay back the money he stole. You can help him sell some of his stuff. Or give him (other than his usual) chores to work of his...

Some highlight escalation risks with blunt, relatable warnings to pivot strategies.

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Johoski − YTA **Consult a family therapist experienced with delinquency issues. Pronto! !** For god's sake, think a little. Talk to your son, ask him some questions. Stop waiting for...

What's going on to make him want these things? What makes him think that stealing from his folks is an option? Do his friends, a friend, steal from their folks?...

Spending money is fun, he's old enough to earn it if he likes having things. If he doesn't have his own account yet, get him one, with a debit card....

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PrivateEyes2020 − Yes, YWBTA. The police are not substitute parents. There's no good outcome. Either they do nothing, and your child finds out that you are powerless to control him,...

Plus, it seems as though you want to go from doing very little to nuclear. Taken away his phone? Taken away all electronics? Given him chores to pay back money...

Seems like you're counting on google family or other apps to do your parenting for you. Edited to add: Yes, I see you claimed to take the old phone away....

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PrestigiousAd3081 − Your son needs professional help, not being in the criminal justice system.

The parents confront their teen’s costly deceptions with police as a last resort, but evidence points to therapeutic roots over legal scares. Social network consensus favors professional guidance, tech lockdowns, and consequence-based repayment to rebuild trust.

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How have you curbed teen theft without courts? Drop your therapy wins or lockdown tools in the comments.

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