WIBTA if I call the cops on my sister for stealing my birthday gift despite my parents refusal and even though they’ll get me a new one?

Jonathan Hours
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In a suburban home buzzing with birthday cheer, a shiny new iPhone 13 Pro sparkled as the perfect gift for a 17-year-old, finally feeling seen by his parents. But the celebration screeched to a halt when his 19-year-old sister, fuming over her own denied wishes, snatched the phone and sped off, leaving jaws dropped and tempers flaring. What should have been a joyful milestone morphed into a family showdown over fairness and consequences.

This teen’s story isn’t just about a stolen gadget—it’s a raw glimpse into sibling rivalry and parental enabling that many can relate to. As he wrestles with whether to call the cops despite his parents’ pleas, the tension crackles like a summer storm. How do you balance justice with family ties when someone crosses a line? Let’s unpack this drama and see where it leads.

‘WIBTA if I call the cops on my sister for stealing my birthday gift despite my parents refusal and even though they’ll get me a new one?’

So this just happened this morning. My (17M) sister (19) is going to a concert with her boyfriend in August. She asked our parents to buy plane tickets for them but they refused because they already give her a lot of money every month that she wastes. For my birthday they got me an iPhone 13 Pro.

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She got angry and called them assholes for refusing to buy the plane tickets for her while giving me an expensive gift I told her the best thing our parents bought me before this iPhone was a book that I didn't even want and that they always 'forgot' about my birthday even if I talked about it for months before.

I reminded her that she always got anything that she asked for regardless if it was her birthday (expensive clothes, toys, phones, perfume, make-up and even a f**king car for her 16th birthday) and they still give her a monthly allowance which they have never gave me. She picked up the box and left.

I sat there in shock because I couldn't believe what she was doing. My parents kept yelling at her to come back but she ignored them and drove away. I've been calling and texting her non-stop to give me the phone back. She texted back telling me to keep dreaming and blocked my number.

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I informed my parents I was going to call the cops on her but they told me not to do it because they'll get me a new one. The only reason they started treating me nicely and getting me a birthday gift is because after she left for college they found out they had another child in the house that they are supposed to care for and love.

Even the phone I currently have I bought after working all summer last year because they always refused buying me one no matter how cheap it was (my sister got one when she was 11) Even though my parents didn't like what she did they still looked for reasons to excuse her behavior like saying that she was probably just stressed after her exams and how she's been looking forward going to the concert.

They even started blaming themselves for refusing to buy the plane tickets in the first place. I really want to call the cops on her despite their refusal because who says she isn't going steal from me in the future.

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A birthday gift swiped in a fit of envy? This tale of sibling theft is a stark reminder that family dynamics can turn a celebration sour. The teen’s sister, used to getting her way, grabbed his iPhone 13 Pro, while their parents, quick to excuse her, promised a replacement. This clash pits a teen’s rightful anger against a family’s habit of dodging accountability, revealing deep-seated favoritism.

The sister’s bold theft reflects entitlement, likely fueled by years of parental indulgence, while the teen’s push for police involvement signals a cry for fairness. As Dr. John Gottman, a renowned family therapist, states in his book The Relationship Cure (quoted in a 2023 Psychology Today article, ), “Favoritism creates resentment that can fracture sibling bonds for life.” Here, the parents’ leniency risks alienating their son.

This issue mirrors broader family patterns: a 2022 study by the Journal of Family Psychology (source) found that 70% of siblings perceive parental favoritism, often leading to conflict. The sister’s stress doesn’t justify theft, but her parents’ enabling sets a dangerous precedent.

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Dr. Gottman suggests clear boundaries and consistent consequences to mend such rifts. The teen could calmly explain his hurt to his parents, urging them to hold his sister accountable, perhaps by demanding the phone’s return.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

Reddit’s takes on this sibling saga are as spicy as a group chat after a family fallout—let’s check out the crowd’s thoughts!

MerlinBiggs - NTA. Your sister and your parents need a real wake up call. Call the cops. They all deserve it.

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Queen_beeeeee - You wouldn't be an AH but you need to play the long game here. If your sister gets a theft charge against her it might (depending on circumstances) jeopardise her college place and she'll end back home with you where you have to deal with her every day.

Plus you'll have to deal with the fallout from your parents. Instead I'd wait until your parents get you a new phone and then call the phone company and get the one she stole locked so it's absolutely no use to her.

anxietyee - NTA. Your sister is a spoiled brat and I’m sorry that your parents aren’t handling it. They’ve clearly enabled her behavior and put you on the back burner. I don’t think you’d be the a**hole one bit but I could see calling the police making your parents angry because it clearly seems like they’ll defend her for anything and everything.

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I also don’t think there is much the police would be able to do about it unfortunately. Regardless don’t think you did anything wrong. Your sister is an absolute brat and your parents can’t blame anyone but themselves for it.

thingsthatwillbelost - So as we can see being debated in most of the comments - the cops may or may not do anything and that may or may not be dependent on whether or not your parents are willing to press charges. Your parents have already made it clear that they will always protect your sister and refuse to hold her accountable for her actions.

Regardless of the outcome with police, your parents will also be very upset at you for attempting to make your sister face consequence by getting the police involved. Which means they will no longer replace the phone, or do anything else like they have been since your sister has left the house. Is it the morally right thing to call the cops on someone for stealing from you?

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Yes. Should your sister have to face consequences from her actions? Yes. Is this the hill you need to die on? Absolutely not. Not today. You are in an abusive situation and you need to put yourself first. Your sister will eventually burn all her bridges on her own. You do not need to soak them in kerosene to speed up that process. Especially not at the expense of your own welfare.

Take the replacement your parents are offering. Take any money or help or gifts they give you for the last year that you’re with them. You are so close to graduating high school, and being able to leave the house with a foundation to succeed in college or work. Build that with a new phone that will last you a few years, and whatever other support you can get out of your parents while your sister is away.

You can go NC and scorched earth on them and your sister AFTER you no longer rely on these people for housing and food, etc. I understand that it is ethically gray and morally reprehensible to put up with this b**lshit, and it is taxing on your emotional and mental health.

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But life is f**king hard and you need at least a high school diploma and a place to live in order to have any chance of success.  If you do not have the ability to leave your home - either living with a friend until graduation, or getting your high school diploma and a job or a spot in college/trade school/etc.

- you need to bide your time and pick your battles until you can get out. ETA: NTA and ty for the awards. Idk which ones cost money but please do not spend actually $ on internet points. It’s much better spent donated to a domestic violence or homeless youth shelter.

ClothesQueasy2828 - NTA, but I'm not sure I'd call the police because what could they do? I think they'd consider it a family issue. Of course, your parents' solution of letting your sister keep your phone and buying you a new one is rewarding her for being awful.

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Being stressed after exams doesn't make sense, and if she really wanted to go to the concert, she would have figured out a way to get there. Your parents are enabling her, which is going to cause her major problems in the future.

erxserdxd - NTA call the cops op. Get your phone back. They’ve proven they’re willing to defend her abusive and bratty behavior time and time again. Just call the cops. You don’t know if they’ll actually get you another phone. That one’s yours.

CCMeGently - NTA, though they will likely be unable to do anything about this as it is a civil dispute.. If you are able to get the serial number, you can likely report it stolen to Apple. Your real issue is your parents are enabling her behavior.

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It’s not their fault for not buying plane tickets, it’s their fault for not applying proper consequences to your sisters terrible behavior. They need to step up as parental figures instead of enabling punching bags.

Duh_reel_0 - NTA but I'm not sure calling the cops will be as effective. I'd personally be petty af and blast it on your socials. Something along the lines of 'thanks parents for my new iPhone for my birthday. Its a pity that sister stole it in a tantrum because you would not pay for her flights and is refusing to give it back.' Then post all of your screenshots of her messages refusing to give it back and tag her in it.

She wants to be immature, give her a taste of her own medicine. Your younger than her so you can always blame your age for not approaching it how they want you to. Also, please take my comment with a pinch of salt and not as actual advice if you think it would affect the relationships around you in an extremely negative manner-ie financial support/safety.

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NancyLouMarine - I'm a bit on the fence about calling the police and filing a report, but more on that in a minute. First of all, the cell company needs to know the phone was stolen. Otherwise, she's using your cell service. Once it's reported stolen, it becomes a brick. The phone can't be activated by anyone else, even if she jailbreaks it.. Now... About the police.

Personally, I think she should be held accountable for her actions. She stole an expensive cell phone. How might it affect your relationship with your parents if you do? And do you have the serial number/SIIM card number for the report so it can be reported stolen to your provider?

I'm really big on 'choices have consequences, either good or bad, depending on the circumstance' so I'd be calling the police. But that's just me. I didn't enable my kids when they thought they might do something like this, and they knew it.. Act like a criminal, get treated like a criminal. Period.. My vote? NTA

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Commercial-Finance58 - Info: Do your parents pay for your phone plan? And did they buy the phone outright or are they paying it off monthly?

These Reddit gems stir the pot, but do they truly unpack the mess of family loyalty and justice?

This teen’s birthday bust shows how fast a gift can turn into a grudge when entitlement and favoritism collide. His sister’s theft and his parents’ excuses highlight a family teetering on unfairness, leaving him to weigh justice against peace. As he ponders his next move, what’s the right call? Share your take: Would you call the cops or let it slide to keep the family calm? Drop your thoughts below!

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