WIBTA for not going on a bachelorette trip to a waterpark because I’m overweight?

A 25-year-old woman is facing a dilemma over her friend’s upcoming bachelorette trip. As a bridesmaid, she had cleared her calendar for the first weekend of August, expecting a fun and low-cost getaway. However, the plans revealed that the group would be staying overnight at an indoor waterpark resort, which immediately caused her concern. Standing in a swimsuit, facing weigh-ins, and not being able to go on many of the rides due to her size made the idea of attending stressful rather than exciting.

Although the bride and maid of honor suggested alternatives such as relaxing in the lazy river, hot tub, or enjoying drinks while others went on slides, the poster worries she wouldn’t fully participate in the experience. She fears this could leave her feeling excluded and impact her enjoyment of the weekend.

'WIBTA for not going on a bachelorette trip to a waterpark because I’m overweight?'

The bachelorette trip plans caused anxiety for the poster.

I (F25) am a bridesmaid in the wedding of a good friend (F27) this fall. She had us all plan to be free the first weekend of August for her...

This weekend, she and her maid of honor sent out what they decided on for the trip, which was to spend the night at an indoor waterpark resort. They wanted...

The waterpark destination revealed limitations due to weight restrictions.

As soon as I saw the message in the groupchat, I knew the trip wouldn’t be fun for me due to my size. I am about 5’7” and 270 pounds,...

There are a few 300 pound maximums, or 2-person rides with 400 pound maximums, but the idea of standing in my bathing suit, being weighed to make sure I can...

I know I’m overweight and need to lose some, but insecurity isn’t the main thing holding me back. I’d happily go on a beach vacation and rock a bathing suit...

It’s the combination of the bathing suit, weigh-ins, and fact that I am too big to participate in many of the rides that makes it seem not fun to me.

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She worried about being excluded from the full experience.

Because I couldn’t do the same things as all the other girls, (there are a few heavier girls in the party, but I’m by far the biggest and I think...

Communication with the bride highlighted tension and alternatives.

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I told my friend politely that I didn’t think I would be attending, and she got very upset, saying that she asked us to reserve the weekend months in advance...

I told her that I agree and appreciate all of that, but that I don’t think I’d be a ton of fun on this particular trip. She pushed and when...

or drink at the bar while the other girls rode slides and that I shouldn’t let my weight hold me back, especially from something so important to her. I still...

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Deciding whether to attend a social event that may cause discomfort requires balancing personal boundaries with social expectations. Bachelorette trips often involve group bonding activities, and while the primary focus is celebrating the bride, the experiences should be enjoyable for all participants. Excluding oneself is a valid choice if the environment leads to anxiety or embarrassment.

Dr. Lisa K. Smith, a social psychologist at the University of Michigan, explains, “Participation in social rituals is voluntary, and individuals should consider both personal well-being and the significance of the event to others.”. The poster’s hesitation reflects a reasonable concern about personal comfort and dignity in public spaces with weight restrictions.

However, social media comments highlight alternative perspectives. Some suggest that partial participation—enjoying the pool, lazy river, or evening events—can allow the poster to maintain her social role while avoiding discomfort. Others argue that avoiding the trip entirely could impact her friendship and limit shared memories. The broader issue is negotiating individual needs while respecting group plans and friendships.

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Ultimately, the situation requires weighing personal comfort against social obligations, finding compromise, and maintaining honest communication. The knot lies in balancing inclusion and self-care without compromising either.

See what others had to share with OP:

Many users supported the poster, understanding her anxiety over ride restrictions and weigh-ins.

spielundspasss − NAH i understand that it's uncool to have to wait while the others can have fun on the slides. But i think, maybe it's not that much time?...

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If i'm there with friends, it's a bit slides, not always everybody, and just more like swimming, playing, talking and bar. Plus in the evening, there are no slides. Just...

ConnectionOk5553 − NAH. I'm about your size too, and honestly the worst part about it is how much smaller your world gets. I totally understand that you don't want to...

The waterpark is only during the day, I'm sure there is going to be evening fun as well. And it is a once in a lifetime occasion for her (hopefully)....

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like bring a book or see if there are other things to do around the hotel that don't involve the waterpark. Then speak to your friend again and see if...

your friend is allowed to feel hurt about you choosing to not be bored in a pool over celebrating with her. Reddit is always very quick to disregard wedding activities.

I do think that they can be over the top, and there definitely are bridezillas out there, but do remember that this is an important event for your friend and...

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Organic-Quarter-544 − NTA. I'm a firm believer that parties are optional. Just because you want to celebrate something does not mean you get to force people to go to something...

Alert-Tumbleweed-790 − Hmm, NAH, you're entitled to not feel comfortable and back off, I also get your friend tried to find something that could be fun and wants you there....

If you think all girls will go on rides, then you would indeed be lonely the entire day while they go around. If, however, there's going to be some hanging...

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or you can join in the ones you listed, then it could actually go quite nice for all of you, without you feeling left out. Often times we play the...

it ends up being either not so bad or even quite fun. One thing, if you do go, make sure she won't push you to do every ride, and give...

Bring a good book and relax. If you won't go, make sure you make peace with the regrets of not being there with your friends and potentially your friendship suffering...

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GroundbreakingAlps78 − NAH but you should go. I think you’re overestimating how important the slides are. I just took my kids to a Waterpark and they went on a few...

splash pads, lazy river, getting food/ice cream, balance beam, hot tub, etc. you could have a good time if you want to. Just tell people you don’t want to go...

Many emphasized the benefits of joining the trip even if full participation wasn’t possible.

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[Reddit User] − YTA. She’s right, there are plenty of things you could do and would avoid awkward weigh ins. I personally hate water parks and slides.

I would still go and wait around for the rest of the group while they did things I don’t want to. Tell everyone you’re afraid of slides, to avoid the...

Water park is only half of the celebration there will be dinner, games, hanging out, etc. unless you’re going to have a full on panic attack and ruin The event...

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Turbulent_Guest402 − You being overweight and not able to do some slides sucks but… it’s not about you. You can still go, enjoy slides, the lazy river, the hot tube,...

I can assure you, you won’t be the only one not doing only slides. You’re a bridesmaid and want to exclude yourself from a wedding bonding time ? Don’t be...

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jamjar20 − Sorry, but YTA. She’s right that there are things you can do that don’t involve being weighed in public, which I agree would be humiliating. The lazy river...

Glittering_Joke3438 − YTA. You said in your post it’s not about the bathing suit, it’s about the slides. The bride is not expecting you to participate in anything you don’t...

These types of parties are not a group vacation that are equally about all participants. They are about celebrating the bride. Sucking some stuff up is part of being a...

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Free_Science_1091 − YTA, I am a woman ( larger than you) so I totally get your feelings. If you are like me, you don’t go around sharing your weight and...

it probably never occurred to the bride that you might have issues. Whenever I went places with my friends because our kids were hanging out, I always volunteered to be...

or person who watched our stuff and just brought a good book or played on my phone. If there are other larger women, they may be content to hang out...

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They all won’t be on slides all the time, so you will get time with them. You say you are ok with wearing a swimsuit so go and be there...

Users brought humor and relatability to ease tension.

cats_are_magic − I totally understand this as someone who’s been bigger for most parts of my life. It sucks. We had an outdoor zip lining day at school growing up...

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but I faked sick every time to avoid the drama of feeling like the fat kid who would break the zip line. So I get it. But as an adult,...

t’s not fun to feel singled out in that way. But maybe you can get ahead of it. Before the trip, maybe you can text the group chat like “hey...

let me know who wants to be my buddy at the bar or the floating pool! ” (Or whatever the case may be.) Maybe no one wants to join you,...

If you’re really close to the bride, it may mean putting that feeling of not being included aside and finding different ways to enjoy and accommodate yourself instead of just...

I don’t mean that disrespectfully because I absolutely do the same thing myself. It’s just, the fact is, if you’re over 250 you can’t do the ride. It sucks, but...

So you can keep your relationship with the bride and find alternatives you can enjoy and just put all that aside and try to make it a trip you enjoy,...

If this were just a casual friends trip, it would maybe be different. But if I were you, I’d plan things that make me happy to do when I can’t...

Be as present as possible and as kind as possible and in the end, I bet it could actually be fun. Bring a book or something and have some quality...

And no one needs to know the reason. You can say it’s motion sickness. You can say anything. You can give no reason and just say you don’t like them....

But I’d say try to figure out how you can own not going on rides and still be there for your bestie. She didn’t know when she made the plans...

If I were you, I’d try to work through that disappointment and be there for my friend. And if you’re kind and upfront about not being able to do some...

But if you get sulky and act annoyed or passive aggressive that they can do things you can’t, they will probably NOT be sympathetic to you and it may not...

And there are still alternatives for you and possibly others who aren’t into heights or get dizzy or have some other issue that prevents them from wanting to do these...

If this were in the planning stages and you spoke up immediately and the bride said “well, f__k you, water park or nothing, lose some weight! ” That would be...

ProfBeautyBailey − You can have plenty of fun at the water park. I am overweight. I don't go on most of the slides. I mainly vibe in the wave pool...

You should go because the weekend is not about you. It about the bride and just having some girl fun. You can certainly have fun. Don't let your weight keep...

[Reddit User] − I’m bigger but under 250. I’d be happy to spend my time at the lazy river and bar with that many people you likely won’t be the...

coconutyum − I think YTA sorry coz like 90% of the time everyone will be with you in the lazy river polishing off a cocktail anyway.

trama_from_my_mama − Honestly not even to do with your weight, if you just don’t like waterparks you shouldn’t have to go. Public pools have always bothered my downstairs area,

and the thought of sitting in one for two whole days give me the willies. The fact she didn’t include everyone in the thought process for this when you all...

The poster’s dilemma illustrates the challenge of balancing personal comfort with the desire to celebrate a friend’s milestone. While some argue that she should attend and enjoy alternative activities, others respect her decision to prioritize her own well-being. The conversation highlights how social gatherings often require negotiation between individual needs and collective experiences.

How should friends accommodate varying comfort levels in group trips? Is partial participation sufficient to maintain social bonds, or is full engagement expected? Are there ways to celebrate milestones without creating pressure for participation? Sharing personal strategies for navigating similar situations could spark discussion. The article encourages reflection on inclusivity, body positivity, and friendship dynamics while prompting readers to share their own experiences and advice.

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